They grow up so fast (Non-Valk, daddy thing)

[Serk]

Many of ya'll have followed along as my eldest spawn Kali was born, and has been growing up. (I mean, her very conception was documented in a now classic and archived post on this very forum - http://www.valkyrieriders.com/silly.htm )

It's frightening how quickly they go from this:



To this:











And then you get up and go to work one day, and come home to this:



And yesterday we had the scariest one yet.... She drove home from the DPS Driver's License Office after acquiring her learner's permit. I hope my heart can hold up to the stresses it's about to undergo!

[old2soon]

My youngest will be 23 this month-May. My oldest will be 49 this month-May. So go one ahead and let me know how ya hold up there bucko! The WILL try yer patience raise yer blood pressure git ya seriously P Of and then they wrap their arms around you and say the words that Will see much forgiven-LOVE YA DAD! RIDE SAFE.

[Jess from VA]

Cool post man.  

Do you and she both get your glasses (frames) from the Goodwill used box?  



I've been wearing the same fairly standard medium size rounded rectangular wire rims forever.  So I'm no fashion plate myself.

PS;  While girls historically do better than boys with new driver's licenses, there is a pretty well documented increase in tickets and accidents at 18, after 2 years of good careful success from 16 (by both sexes).

I recommend a set of rules regarding borrowing the folks cars and penalties for tickets, rubs and accidents.  The old carrot and hammer behavior control has always worked very well.

PS;  No allowing dates with boys with vans.  (but you already knew this)    

[The emperor has no clothes]

I wish I could tell you it gets better. But, I’d be lying. Hang in there. 

[Wizzard]

Just wait till some young man takes her from you! Done that twice. 

[msb]

My daughters are 30 and 28, both happily married to great guys (a HUGE load off my mind after all those years worrying about who they might wind up with) and enjoying productive, independant lives. The eldest lives 20 hours up North, while the other is 3 hours West of us. I am still extremely close with them and still talk/text/message with them at least several times a week and hang out whenever time permits the same as we did when they were younger and at home. We did everthing together. I do miss having them around all the time now, but I am more happy for them that they are happy and enjoying  their own productive lives now as adults. As the Mrs and I always tell everyone, our daughters are and always will be the "two greatest accomplishments of our lives", and have been more than worth any worry, work, patience-testing, etc that we may have had to put up with during their formative years.

Yes, them getting to the driving stage was a bit scary for me for sure, although nowhere near as scary as when they got to the serious dating/relationship stage...I believe that's when I stopped needing to go to the barber for a haircut    From your previous posts and meeting you all in Billings last year, I don't see where you'll have too many concerns with your kids growing up...

[Savago]

Serk

They do grow up fast. My daughter is 16 years old now and sometimes I wonder how fast the time goes by.

As a father of a teenager, I recommend reading '8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And other tips from a beleaguered father':
https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Rules-Dating-Teenage-Daughter/dp/0761126333/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1526408213&sr=8-3-fkmr2&keywords=rules+to+date+my+daughter+book

Simply hilarious for anyone that faced the challenges of raising a kid.

[John Schmidt]

Ah yes, learning how to drive. My four gals wanted me to do it rather than their mother, I insisted Driver's Ed in school first which they all took(insurance purposes). They learned with an automatic, I insisted they learn to use a stick....oh boy, did they ever learn. My oldest would be 60 next month, my youngest will be 50 in Sept., both learned how to grab a little bark from the tires when going from 1st to 2nd, much to dad's chagrin. At one point I had a '69 Charger RT, 440 w/Hurst straight H shifter, and a stronger clutch installed along with 2-four barrels. That sucker would pass anything but a jet fighter and a gas station....or a cat with a turpentined butt....but I digress. My oldest while in HS loved to take it down to the local drive-in and just idle through the parking lot, lake pipes growling and the car kinda lurching a bit due to a not so smooth idle. I never let her mother drive it, she had already tore up the rear end in a "lion hearted" Chrysler running a 413 in it. Only one sister ever wanted to ride with the eldest in the Charger, was kinda fun in retrospect. 

Back to the girls....I taught each one how to parallel park, how to change a tire, check and refill all the various fluids as needed. Then you reach a point where you just turn them loose and hope you did something right. Turns out I apparently did, none have ever been in an accident and only one ticket for going through a red light on her way to the hospital 6 yrs. ago when I had my heart attack. She had just got into town and was rushing to the hosp. to see me for the first time. Rather than discuss it in court, my wife paid it for her. It's been interesting for sure.

[3fan4life]

They certainly do.

My son will be 31 this fall and it seems like he was born just the other day.

My grand daughter is 3yrs old, I try to tell him that he needs to relish every moment of this time because there will come a day that he wants it back.

I'm almost certain that my comments are falling upon deaf ears.

But, all I can do is to try.

I think that is one of the advantages of being a Grand Parent, we know just how quickly this time is going to pass.

And we aren't going to let a moment of it pass us by if we can help it.

We know this because we realize what we missed as parents.


As the parent there is more pressure on you and life gets in the way sometimes.

From your posts on this board, I know that you spend as much time as possible with your kids.

Kudos, no parent ever thinks to themselves, " I wish that I had spent less time my kids".

[The emperor has no clothes]

Kudos, no parent ever thinks to themselves, " I wish that I had spent less time my kids".

I wish that were so. I get to see plenty of people who have utter disregard for their kids. I wish there were a way to legally slay and neuter people like we do pets.

[Wizzard]

Kudos, no parent ever thinks to themselves, " I wish that I had spent less time my kids".

I wish that were so. I get to see plenty of people who have utter disregard for their kids. I wish there were a way to legally slay and neuter people like we do pets.

You and I are in agreement again 

[boss hoss bill]

Kudos, no parent ever thinks to themselves, " I wish that I had spent less time my kids".

I wish that were so. I get to see plenty of people who have utter disregard for their kids. I wish there were a way to legally slay and neuter people like we do pets.

Was that a Freudian slip on your part ref. being able to SLAY and neuter people"?

[Leathel]

They sure do grow up fast, and is scary when they get out on the open road.....I hope all goes well and she makes her Dad even more proud of her 

My Daughter is now just about 21, on the rode on a motorbike at 16.....a fair few nervous moments following her but she did well, and when she got in the car she already had a good awareness of the road and in the 5 years she has had no incidents, I hope things go well for you also

My son I am a little more worried about, already crashed my truck into my workshop and not been on the road yet....I need to spend more time with him on dirt bikes to hope he looses his panic reactions... time will tell

[The emperor has no clothes]

Kudos, no parent ever thinks to themselves, " I wish that I had spent less time my kids".

I wish that were so. I get to see plenty of people who have utter disregard for their kids. I wish there were a way to legally slay and neuter people like we do pets.

Was that a Freudian slip on your part ref. being able to SLAY and neuter people"?

I guess it was 

[John Schmidt]

As an afterthought re. wishing one had spent more time with their kids, I certainly do. Many of you are aware I lost two daughters to cancer, one 12 yrs. ago this month, the other just 6 yrs. ago last month. The first one would be 57 this year, the second one would be 60 June 1st. I can think of many times where I spent time doing what I wanted to do, as opposed to what I needed to do, wishing now I had been more attentive to their needs in that dept. We did spend a lot of time together, both as a group or often singularly. I'll never forget the first one to pass at 45......when she was still in Jr. high lying under the car helping me change an engine. She was our only blonde, fair skinned, had oversized gloves on and a big grease smudge on her nose. She was HS age at the time, quiet but extemely talented musically. I recall one time my wife and I had some old 50's R&R(the real/original stuff) music on and were dancing to it. My girls all kept cutting in on us and on each other, they all wanted to dance with dad. On TV you often see the ads with the dad trying to walk with one or two kids riding his feet. I have difficulty watching it.

You also need to remember your life's partner as well, spend quality time together. You never know when one of you will no longer be able to go places and do things with you.

[Jersey mike]

Hey Serk, my youngest turns 18 Memorial Day weekend. It hasn’t been easy the last month or so knowing she’s not my little girl anymore. She graduates HS in June and moves out in August for college. I can tell it’s bothering her too, she’s been a bit clingy the last few months and she’s sitting watching the Yankee game with me as I write this. Hard to believe in four years she’ll be graduating college.

My son will graduate college next summer and our oldest daughter the next summer.

Time flies...

[henry 008]

thanks for the cool post  brings back lots of good memories 

[0leman]

Serk I know what your are going thru.  I have three girls, yes three girls plus the wife in a home at one time. Think about that.   Anyway, all three got good education and jobs plus hubbies.   Time flies very fast.  Our oldest grandson just got his drivers license in January.  Seems like just yesterday I was holding him a hour after he got into this world.

[Serk]

Thanks everyone for the kind words! It's definitely been... interesting so far. Momma's been in the passenger seat a few times now, but with Momma out of town again for business, tonight was my first turn to sit in the passenger seat.

Overall she did very well, although my non-existent imaginary passenger side brake pedal DID get quite a workout! That's gonna take some getting used to!!

(Disclaimer - we were stopped at a railroad crossing, thus her hands off the wheel and me feeling okay with taking a picture.)



Overall she did well. Needs to improve her acceleration, braking and "coloring within the lines" techniques, but those all come with practice. Most importantly, she was willing to listen and adjust as instructed. And we survived, and no insurance claims were made from tonight's drive to her swim practice.

(I did find it interesting, adding a dependent with a learner's permit to my insurance has ZERO increase to my premium... Odd...)

Do you and she both get your glasses (frames) from the Goodwill used box?  

I get mine from CostCo, hers from some cheap Chinese outfit (Zenni Optical) online. Sign of the times, her prescription is so slight she really doesn't need glasses, but wearing glasses is fashionable now, so.....

I wish I could tell you it gets better. But, I’d be lying. Hang in there. 

I look at it as this is preparing me for a later date when I get 3 of 'em at once...
Well, nothing can prepare one for THAT, but getting me used to it a bit at least.

Just wait till some young man takes her from you! Done that twice. 

Someday, but so far she's not shown any inclination towards wanting to rush towards serious commitment... But really at 15 she's still a kid, so we'll see...

From your previous posts and meeting you all in Billings last year, I don't see where you'll have too many concerns with your kids growing up...

Was nice to meet you too! I like to think I'm doing a halfway decent job, but ya' always wonder if you're doing enough, too much, the right thing, etc. etc. etc... But I always second guess myself anyway...

As a father of a teenager, I recommend reading '8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And other tips from a beleaguered father

Thanks, I've read various takes on that theme, read some of the preview of that one and it looks good, and quite light hearted, which is needed right now!

I taught each one how to parallel park, how to change a tire, check and refill all the various fluids as needed.

We had an impromptu "How to change the tire" lesson a few months ago, and she did decently well at it. At least she's done it so it won't be totally foreign to her. I'll admit, as I've gotten older my time has become more valuable than my money so I pay someone else to change the oil and fluids, but I have had her assist me in changing it on the Valk a time or two, so she understands the basics at least...

I think that is one of the advantages of being a Grand Parent, we know just how quickly this time is going to pass.

And we aren't going to let a moment of it pass us by if we can help it.

We know this because we realize what we missed as parents.

I like to think I've learned the lessons of the past and am not repeating 'em, at least not fully. My dad has spent literally thousands of times more time with my kids than he ever did with me and my sister. To the point my mom's gotten jealous of it; he comes over every day to meet the school bus as the triplets get home from school, gets 'em home from the bus stop, gets 'em a snack, plays with 'em a few hours, begs to come over and babysit on the weekends, etc... In his defense, being an Air Force Captain and then an over the road truck driver didn't leave much time for playing with us kids, he did the best he could, but he's certainly trying to make up for lost time now that he can.

You also need to remember your life's partner as well, spend quality time together. You never know when one of you will no longer be able to go places and do things with you.

Thank you John for your insight and wisdom spoken from experience. I'll admit I teared up a little reading your response, thank you for that. I do the best I can keeping all 4 kids in line, being in their lives, and remembering to spend time with the women that made me a father of 4... I'm not perfect, but I try...
cursed ninjas sneaking in and cutting onions! 

Serk I know what your are going thru.  I have three girls, yes three girls plus the wife in a home at one time. Think about that. 

Before we knew the genders of the triplets I warned the wife if it was all girls plus the elder female spawn I was gonna start keeping male Rottweilers or something just to offset the Estrogen. Luckily I ended up with 2 of each to nicely balance things out. I am truly far more blessed than I deserve to be.

[Willow]

... and remembering to spend time with the women that made me a father of 4...

That's odd. I thought they all had the same mother.    

[Serk]

... and remembering to spend time with the women that made me a father of 4...

That's odd. I thought they all had the same mother.    

(Counts on fingers and toes, makes sure the number all lines up) Yeah... Same momma for all 4...

[Willow]

... and remembering to spend time with the women that made me a father of 4...

That's odd. I thought they all had the same mother.    

(Counts on fingers and toes, makes sure the number all lines up) Yeah... Same momma for all 4...

Women?   

[Serk]

... and remembering to spend time with the women that made me a father of 4...

That's odd. I thought they all had the same mother.    

(Counts on fingers and toes, makes sure the number all lines up) Yeah... Same momma for all 4...

Women?   

I'm gonna claim the mental impairment of dealing with 3 six year olds and the 15 year old that the WOMAN gave birth to while she is outta town on business for that typo... 

[Jess from VA]

I thought I had seen pics of you wearing the same senior citizen glasses she does (and now see you don't).  Just cracking wise.  I had a slight prescription in 8th grade, but never wore them until college freshman year (my first time in big auditorium classrooms).

Man I did the teaching several times and even though there is no brake on the passenger side, I kept stomping the floor anyway (even after the 2d wife had been driving for years and years (which she took offense to).  I don't like being a passenger in any car.  Since 16, I've had my own car, and not been a passenger more than .05% of all my time in motor vehicles.

PS:  Ask her if she knows the drill if she loses all brakes on the road.  

At 17 on a double date in a '61 Galaxy, my buddy lost all brakes in traffic, and was deer in the  headlights.  I'm in the back yelling, shift into low, grab the emergency brake, turn down that street, don't hit the GD gas pumps!! It was a miracle we lived.

I've never had an airbag go off in my face or if there is even a drill for that.

Refrain from wearing your helmet in the car.  It shows an extreme lack of confidence (no matter how funny it is).

PS:  On the insurance, don't call and ask if it's a mistake, it probably is. 

[Serk]

PS:  Ask her if she knows the drill if she loses all brakes on the road.  
PS:  On the insurance, don't call and ask if it's a mistake, it probably is. 

"Downshift as much as physically possible, apply emergency brake, pull over, try to aim for whatever will cause as little damage or injury as possible." was her answer...

And the insurance is USAA... Back to the whole "I'm more blessed than I deserve to be" thing... it explicitly said learner's permits don't increase the premium, but yeah, I'm not calling and questioning that!!!

[Jess from VA]

Wow, I wonder if in years to come, when you get three learners all at once USAA will feel the same about it.  If so, I bet any moving violation at all changes that up.

When you get three at once, it will be time to own a well used, up armored Humvee.  And remember, safety probably dictates they only go out with you one at a time (oh boy).   As good a pilot as my brother is, my folks would never fly with him together.   

I'm impressed with her brake-loss answer.  Right on the money. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

"find it interesting, adding a dependent with a learner's permit to my insurance has ZERO increase to my premium... Odd...)"

If I remember correctly our insurance didn't go up when my daughter got her permit, but it did when my son got his. (You might have to cash in your 401k in a few years)

[Serk]

"find it interesting, adding a dependent with a learner's permit to my insurance has ZERO increase to my premium... Odd...)"

If I remember correctly our insurance didn't go up when my daughter got her permit, but it did when my son got his. (You might have to cash in your 401k in a few years)

Maybe I can convince the boys to say they indentify as girls for insurance purposes? Hmmm...

[The emperor has no clothes]

"find it interesting, adding a dependent with a learner's permit to my insurance has ZERO increase to my premium... Odd...)"

If I remember correctly our insurance didn't go up when my daughter got her permit, but it did when my son got his. (You might have to cash in your 401k in a few years)

Maybe I can convince the boys to say they indentify as girls for insurance purposes? Hmmm...

I think you'd be better off cleaning out your savings, in the long run. 

[Serk]

"find it interesting, adding a dependent with a learner's permit to my insurance has ZERO increase to my premium... Odd...)"

If I remember correctly our insurance didn't go up when my daughter got her permit, but it did when my son got his. (You might have to cash in your 401k in a few years)

Maybe I can convince the boys to say they indentify as girls for insurance purposes? Hmmm...

I think you'd be better off cleaning out your savings, in the long run. 

3 six year olds and a 15 year old, and you think I HAVE Any savings? Bhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Nope Claiming to be trans is their only hope to get insured...

[Willow]

PS:  Ask her if she knows the drill if she loses all brakes on the road.  
PS:  On the insurance, don't call and ask if it's a mistake, it probably is. 

"Downshift as much as physically possible, apply emergency brake, pull over, try to aim for whatever will cause as little damage or injury as possible." was her answer...

And the insurance is USAA... Back to the whole "I'm more blessed than I deserve to be" thing... it explicitly said learner's permits don't increase the premium, but yeah, I'm not calling and questioning that!!! 

Insurance doesn't increase with a learner's permit because she is not the legally responsible driver at that time.  When she gets her license the insurance will increase.

[cookiedough]

PS:  Ask her if she knows the drill if she loses all brakes on the road.  
PS:  On the insurance, don't call and ask if it's a mistake, it probably is. 

"Downshift as much as physically possible, apply emergency brake, pull over, try to aim for whatever will cause as little damage or injury as possible." was her answer...

And the insurance is USAA... Back to the whole "I'm more blessed than I deserve to be" thing... it explicitly said learner's permits don't increase the premium, but yeah, I'm not calling and questioning that!!!

yah, same here learners permit in WI for 6 months no rate increase, but just wait until they get their REAL license and expect a 30% or more increase in rates all around.  Been there, done that, with 19 and 17 year old.  Oh yah,  adding a then 16 year old onto my 4 cycles was NOT fun either once he got his cycle license 3-4 months AFTER he got his car license age 16 last year.

Luckily, the old 2001 Valk and his 1997 honda magna are older vehicles and not crotch rockets being newer, etc.  since most insurance companies consider those bikes HIGH risk for HIGH risk drivers.

I can only imagine what triplets will be when they turn age 16.  You better smoke some more smokes and drink more drinks before you sit down and call up insurance company then. 

In only a few more years (2) our now 17 year old will be gone as well and will seem odd with just 2 of us in the house since when daughter left for college last year it was odd having an empty bedroom and her gone.

[DDT (12)]

Serk,

As my daughter and I stood together in the vestibule waiting for 'The Wedding March' to que us to enter, she took my arm… I said to her, "I remember leaning over a bit so you could hold my finger as we walked to your kindergarten class... I blinked, and here we are!"

I know what you mean, Serk, and I completely agree that it all happens so fast! Because you've shared so much with us, though, we all can see what a special relationship you have with all of your charges, and we also know of the happiness... and apprehensions!... you feel. Hard to keep it in focus sometimes, but those relationships and shared 'slices of life' are some of the highlights of our entire lives... and theirs... Congrats!!!

DDT

[pais]

   Serk,
    Great post! What a exciting time in your child's life as well as yours. Not trying to be funny in the least.
    As a parent of a 20yo young lady and a 17yo young man. The getting your license "stage" is one of those times when I really tried hard not to forget how excited I was. I was excited for them. The memories of taking the three of us to a empty lot or empty field and letting them drive when they were 13 or 14yo was great. Oh the fun we had! I never hesitated to let them drive in that manor. I always wanted them to become comfortable behind the wheel and I remember how much fun I had as a kid. Daughter took to driving like a fish to water. Son was always hesitant and when it came time to get license he was still hesitant.
   This post hits close to home. I've choked up a number of times this week, reading all the comments. Son graduates High School this Sunday. As DDT said, " I blinked and here we are". Well, computer going bad, screen is getting hard to read again......

[old2soon]

At 73 I am lookin back and rekemembering. 1st Wife presented us with-in order-Girl Boy Twin Boys. 2nd Wife presented us with Girl then another Girl. ALL of my kids at the beginning fit in the crook of either arm. They have ALL at one time or another fallen asleep in said crook of arm And put said arm to sleep. My oldest Male person-way past Boy-is taller than me as are the twins. One of the Twins went into the Army and jumped out of Perfectly operating aircraft.  ALL 6 of my spawn have made me Proud-a LOT. AND three out of the six have made me a Gramps-couple times!  1st Daughter on first driving lesson-the work truck Chevy with the 4 speed-tried to take out the water tanker at the fire house-splainin parking stuff and practicing parkin stuff. And lotsa of other memories with all 6. Serk my tall lanky Texas Friend-lookin and soundin like yer on the Right track with the 4 ya gotz!  RIDE SAFE.