Funny Uber story.......

[baldo]

It's funny how that goes....

Before I could bag your groceries at the grocery store (So long ago we still asked "Paper or plastic?" I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could sell you a Packard Bell 486 at Best Buy I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could work on the laptop computers of cubicle dwellers, I had to have a hair shaft drug test. (Ross Perot didn't mess around)

Now that I work on large federal government computers that do lots of big federal government stuff, no test required...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM-G0bkl8MQ

[RP#62]

It's funny how that goes....

Before I could bag your groceries at the grocery store (So long ago we still asked "Paper or plastic?" I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could sell you a Packard Bell 486 at Best Buy I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could work on the laptop computers of cubicle dwellers, I had to have a hair shaft drug test. (Ross Perot didn't mess around)

Now that I work on large federal government computers that do lots of big federal government stuff, no test required...

Along those lines, once upon a time I had an AOA badge (aircraft operation area) which allowed me to be on the ramp around aircraft, and a customs clearance, which allowed me to be on incoming international aircraft before they cleared customs, while at the same time, I was on the no fly list.  (Thats how I found out that you are placed on the no fly list based on how close your name is to someone's name they are interested in.  All I can figure that somewhere out there, there must have been a Scottish terrorist).

-RP

[The emperor has no clothes]

It's funny how that goes....

Before I could bag your groceries at the grocery store (So long ago we still asked "Paper or plastic?" I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could sell you a Packard Bell 486 at Best Buy I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could work on the laptop computers of cubicle dwellers, I had to have a hair shaft drug test. (Ross Perot didn't mess around)

Now that I work on large federal government computers that do lots of big federal government stuff, no test required...

Now they have some Q-tip saliva thing. (At least that’s what my employer uses) Evidently the rate for THC failures was so high they quit testing for it on new hires. Now they only do if you injure yourself. (More so to get out of workman’s comp claims) Just so my employer and everyone else knows, when I retire I plan on a re-enactment of a Cheech & Chong.

[Jess from VA]

 I knew guys who wouldn't eat bagels with poppy seeds on them for fear of flunking the test.

-RP

RP, all kinds of poppy seed pastry and bread in Turkey (in the mid 80s) might piss you positive.  That was part of my newcomers briefing for all new military and dependents.  Probably a stronger seed over there.  And you definitely wanted to avoid the hashish available over in the far eastern part of the country (where you might get shot at too, so don't go over there anyway).  And they made hashish bread everywhere.

The briefing also included that, for the stupidly curious, there was no buzz to be had from any of these foods, just a distinct possibility of a positive urinalysis.  So do yourself a favor and don't eat it.

  

[Psychotic Bovine]

It's funny how that goes....

Before I could bag your groceries at the grocery store (So long ago we still asked "Paper or plastic?" I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could sell you a Packard Bell 486 at Best Buy I had to pee in a cup.

Before I could work on the laptop computers of cubicle dwellers, I had to have a hair shaft drug test. (Ross Perot didn't mess around)

Now that I work on large federal government computers that do lots of big federal government stuff, no test required...

Good ol' Packard Hell.  Had two of them.  One was great, the other was crap.  I hear the great one must have been an anomaly.

[fudgie]

Baldo didn't mention it, but pretty much anyone who touches airplanes is subject to random drug testing.  I knew guys who wouldn't eat bagels with poppy seeds on them for fear of flunking the test.

-RP

From what I been told you have to eat something like 10 lbs of seeds to test +.

[fudgie]

I am more concerned with someone who works on aircraft mentioning he was around a lot of pot being smoked.  Even in my job in transportation (where I don't work on, or drive), I certainly would not ever mention something like that.
I have no issue with people who want to do pot, as long as they aren't my surgeon, a bus driver, anyone who works on vehicles, and anyone who drives/pilots said vehicles.
I don't get warm, fuzzy feelings thinking of the driver running 80,000 pounds of rig being behind my car in traffic.

From what Ive seen at GM its a wonder I still drive a GM product. Prob the same for every manufacturer tho.

[..]

I have been random tested at every school bus driving job I've had.

The last one was done on site.

Had to chew on a hard foam "lollipop" until the material softened.

This was then inserted into a small container where a reagent could have shown a positive and which of 8 drugs caused the reaction.


Cost $8.

[baldo]

I have been random tested at every school bus driving job I've had.

The last one was done on site.

Had to chew on a hard foam "lollipop" until the material softened.

This was then inserted into a small container where a reagent could have shown a positive and which of 8 drugs caused the reaction.


Cost $8.

Was it administered by an outside testing agency, and results were immediate?

[..]

I have been random tested at every school bus driving job I've had.

The last one was done on site.

Had to chew on a hard foam "lollipop" until the material softened.

This was then inserted into a small container where a reagent could have shown a positive and which of 8 drugs caused the reaction.


Cost $8.

Was it administered by an outside testing agency, and results were immediate?

Private school.

Head of security.

Immediate.

[baldo]

I have been random tested at every school bus driving job I've had.

The last one was done on site.

Had to chew on a hard foam "lollipop" until the material softened.

This was then inserted into a small container where a reagent could have shown a positive and which of 8 drugs caused the reaction.


Cost $8.

Was it administered by an outside testing agency, and results were immediate?

Private school.

Head of security.

Immediate.

Thank

You

[Jess from VA]

I was tested several times the old fashioned way in the USAF.  With last minute notice, you peed in a cup, in front of an observer.  They had enough trouble with people being able to let go in front of an observer, they started having you stand in front of the (big) bathroom mirrors at the row of sinks, and the observer looked over your shoulder in the mirror.  A few guys even tried to game this with a botta bag of clean urine under the arm, to keep it warm, and a line of aquarium tube down to their fly.  Gals could not stand at the sinks, and still had to go under direct observation.

They got observers out of the base hospital/clinic, and it always seemed to be some little skinny nerd that could pass for a bug eyed Peter Lorre who appeared to have volunteered for the duty because he enjoyed it.  It didn't make it any easier to let go with the base pervert as the observer.  

My first test came up overseas, not long after Lindsey Graham as a jr Capt defense lawyer, proved up in a series of cases that the USAF Brooks Lab (where all test samples were sent worldwide) was in miserable shape, with defective chain of custody, and cooking coffee and food in the lab testing equipment and other irregularities.  He got a number of likely guilty guys off (on reasonable doubt), and they were in the process of completely overhauling Brooks lab as a result.  It turned out Lindsey was a bang up trial lawyer, so they make him a regional (European) circuit prosecutor, and I later defended two general courts against him. 

So everyone that knew about this Brooks lab fiasco (like me) was worried.  I knew I was clean, but what if my result came back positive anyway?  So at this very small command, the few tests were observed by a medical doctor (friend), and I got him to take two samples and properly mark and seal each; then I had my Turk attorney sign the chain of custody to himself on the 2d sample, and lock it in his office safe downtown.  When my test came back negative many weeks later, I had him throw it out.  

We had an Air Force JAG Capt in AK pee positive for Coke, with the highest nanogram per milliliter count that had ever been seen.  It was believed he had put around two grams up his nose within 12 hours of testing.  He got the full maximum 5 year sentence (for use only).  He had been prosecuting other military members for drug use, and they played his own sentencing arguments (on tape) to the jury in the sentencing phase of his trial.  It was pretty good argument.  

[MarkT]

During the 'nam I worked as a REMF weapons mechanic loading bombs and other armaments on the flightlines and preload in the bomb dumps in TAC then SAC on F111's and B52's. There was no drug testing.  Good thing because I did a LOT of Thai stick, some of it laced with other stuff (opiates). The stuff was so potent a smoking habit there would have to be serviced with a needle habit back in the world.  A lot of guys got in trouble that way.  I was also trained and certified on nukes (which I never saw after tech school).  The rules or at least enforcement policies were particularly relaxed when the war was unpopular and they needed and had difficulty retaining warm bodies - in AFR 35-10 (Uniform dress code, haircuts etc) and other areas (drug enforcement, STD infections).  After the war ended and they needed attrition they did it by enforcing those same regs & policies.  Good thing my hitch was also up and I would rather sell pencils on street corners than re-up.  Brings to mind Michael Parks' Re-enlistment Blues.

P.S. I should mention that I quit doing all mind-bending stuff decades ago.  After I realized I was burning out brain cells & I needed all of them I had left.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu_Dyr1wkdQ

[Jess from VA]

Despite a desire for the military to maintain high levels of proficiency and professionalism, it has always been subject to the same supply and demand economics that every other public or private organization does.

Notice that all the branches have had to back off their visible tattoo rules?

Why young people today feel compelled to get all inked up is beyond me.

All my scars have always been good enough for me.