Per the dr. and nurses, Rita may be nearing the end.

[John Schmidt]

December, 2016 she fell and broke her shoulder in two places, followed by two mo. rehab in a nursing home. She never fully recovered from that mostly due to her advanced Parkinsons. A year ago this month she fell again and broke the right hip, followed by replacement surgery and two mo. in rehab again. Even less recovery this time around, my duties were extensive already and last year became even greater 24/7. Recently while in bed she was reaching for something on the nightstand and felt a loud pop in the lower portion of her back, followed by some pretty intense pain. The pain grew over the next couple weeks to the point of literal screaming agony at times so I quit asking her permission and just called 911 to have her transported to Fla. Hospital. Xrays show nine compression fractures of the spine....no more walking at all, was already very limited. Usually just 2-3 steps from the wheelchair to the commode and back..

She has been in hospice care for some time and after I notified them of her situation, they put her on their Crisis Care program that runs at least five days with 24hr. attendance. This is done in an attempt to stabilize a patient with pain meds and establishes a daily routine. The meds have appeared to have accelerated the inevitable, after just 2-3 days on meds for pain she's totally incapable of talking, eating, drinking is sips with a straw. When awake, it's constant tossing and turning, making sounds but nothing understandable. I've been advised to have her kids come soon as possible....she may rally a few days to a couple weeks. Judging by my observations, that's a bit optimistic at best. These are difficult times for all.

She may rally some, has done so in the past but this time it's different. A 77 lb. body doesn't have any reserve to draw from and she's been doing that for over 2 years now following each accident.  She's the love of my life and it's hard to let go, can't imagine my life without her in it....ill or not. You don't want to lose a loved one, yet you don't want them to continue to suffer.  

[Bighead]

Sorry to hear John will be sending some knee mail.

[Serk]

My heart hurts for you, I hope you, Rita and your family find peace and solace as best as possible.

[The emperor has no clothes]

I'm very sorry John. She's been thru a lot, as have you. My best to you.

[Valkorado]

I am truly sorry to read this, John.  You have been carrying a very heavy load being Rita's caregiver and having to pursue health issues of your own.  Prayers for you, Rita and your family in these tough times.

[matt]

Very sad to read, your in my thoughts and prayers

[signart]

God bless all the caregivers, and especially you for your unselfish care and devotion for the love of your life.

[Willow]

My heart is with you, John.  You're a good man and have taken care of Rita vet well.  As you've said it's undoubtedly with mixed hopes and emotions that we enter this stage of life.

May the Lord be especially close to you during this time. 

[old2soon]

              May GOD please hold Rita in the palm of his hand. Prayers up from the Missouri Ozarks for You and Rita and your Family.

[f6john]

She knows she is loved and that is the greatest gift of all. She must be tired, may Gods grace be overly abundant for both you.

[scooperhsd]

John , there is no doubt that you loved her, and she loved you. Enjoy the time you can, and hopefully she can be made as comfortable as possible until her passing.

[NewValker]

Prayers for your family.
Much respect.
Craig

[OnaWingandaPrayer]

So sad to read this John . I know how devoted you are to caring for Rita.  I lost my dad to parkinsons  almost 2 years back . ITs a devastating disease. God Bless you both and bring his comfort to Rita, yourself and family . Ya'll are in my prayers.

[DIGGER]

Sorry John....my deepest sympathies.   Dwell on the good times.  May God bless you and your family and help you all through these trying times.  May God bless the doctors and caregivers and help them to make all the right decisions.

[solo1]

John,

You've been a caregiver for Rita a long time. I cannot imagine what it took to have your own problems and also caring for Rita.

My caregiving for my wife, Phyl, was much shorter. Phyl had congestive heart failure and COPD. When it was over, the cardiologist told me that my caregiving helped prolong my wife's life for another two years. That was comforting. It reminded me of our vows "In sickness and in health 'til death do us part."

Well done, Faithful Servant.  My heartfelt prayers go out to you, Rita, and both families at this time.

Wayne, solo1

[MarkT]

Really sorry John.  You are truly a pillar for Rita in her last time.  Best to her and you.

[Westernbiker]

John,
My prayers are sent to you and yours.

[da prez]

No words can ever ease the pain of a loved one who has served their time.  
 I has to be a difficult situation for any one , but more so for you .
   We send our prayers to you and your family John.

                      da prez  Ross and Bonnie

[Charlie McCready]

Sure hate to learn this John.  I have never met Rita but talking to you for the last several years I know she's special.  Good thoughts and prayers for you and Rita.

[the bull]

I am truly sorry to hear this news John.  My prayers to Rita, you and the family.

[G-Man]

 You don't want to lose a loved one, yet you don't want them to continue to suffer. 

This is so very common and families and loved ones fall into this hellhole inevitably.  You are not, never, alone. 

The worst part of life.  Peace, love, and strength to you and yours.

[3fan4life]

I'm very sorry to hear this.

May God bring you and your family comfort, peace and strength. 

[John Schmidt]

I had them take her off the high dose of morphine she was getting and switched to dilaudin. The morphine was good at two things: killing the pain and killing the patient. She couldn't do more than grunt and mumble something, would look at you but with unseeing eyes. After a couple days on the dilaudin there was a slight change in her verbalizing, enough that she could say something understandable, but the pain returned. It was obvious the drug wasn't working so switched back to morphine but I insisted it be at a much reduced amount. Now the pain is handled fairly well but her ability to talk at all is gone again. She's on oxygen and is situated on an air mattress that helps prevent sores. I can lean over and whisper "I love you sweetie(pet name)" in her ear, the only reaction will be a slight sqeeze of my hand and a grunt....nothing more. One time she lifted my hand and put her lips on it as though trying to kiss it. I then leaned over and kissed her on the lips and she actually responded with a slight pucker. That was Tuesday afternoon....nothing since. Will she rally for a while....I have no idea. This is no life for her, but I know there are many cases where someone rallies for months under similar conditions. Frankly, I hope that's not the case here....it's not fair to her.

[baldo]

John,

Your last post brings tears to my eyes.

You are definitely top shelf....

Best to Rita, hope her pain is minimal and she's fully aware of your presence. She sounds like a helluva lady.

Bob

[The emperor has no clothes]

What Bob said. And I would add. You have always set the bar for me as to how I should deal with a similar situation. I am very grateful for that.

[Dusty]

 You're a good man John. May both of you have peace.

Dusty

[gordonv]

I am truly sorry to hear that it has come to this.

My prayers to Rita, you, and the family. It's hard to read your writings, and I'm sure harder to live, but we're all hear for you to lean on. 

[RainMaker]

I wish I could help.  Do all that you can.  Sounds like that's what you are doing.  Bless you both.

[Serk]

I hope that if it be my lot to be in a similar situation to yours, I'm able to handle it at least half as well as you are...

[Bigwolf]

John,
This is a story that is hard to read.  I am praying for peace and serenity for you and for Rita. 

[MAD6Gun]

 John I am so sad to hear this. I know what my dad and family went through when my mom was suffering. God's speed to you and Rita.

[Farside]

John, prayers for Rita’s comfort and your strength. What a beautiful life you two have had and your commitment to each other has touched my heart. It’s sad to see the love of your life in this condition but the Reunion will be the next Celebration! Prayers and Blessings to you all.

[Crazyhorse]

Sorry to hear John.

[TTG53#1717]

Both my father and the man who would have been my FiL had long term debilitating illness that had them lingering in between this life and the next. In each case, it was a conversation with a loved on who gave “permission” to pass on that let them gently move on that night.
 As difficult as it may sound, from you or children, it sometimes comes down to assuring your loved one that you’ll be ok after they’ve gone. In our case it was the older sons who both spoke those loving words.

Respect and sympathy in this difficult time.

[9Ball]

My heart hurts for you, I hope you, Rita and your family find peace and solace as best as possible.

I couldn’t say it any better...

[Robert]

Morphine is a killer, it may take the pain away but it takes away everything else the person is also. I have seen a few cancer patients die without a whimper or objection because of it. There has been some good report with cbd oil and just plain old marijuana. My father in law took occasional much smaller doses of morphine but used the marijuana oil or hemp oil to feel better. It also did not stop him from functioning the best he could with full blown cancer. Its totally illegal in most states but it does work.

I am very sorry to hear the news about your beloved wife Rita. I cannot imagine the stress, pain and emotional void you feel at this time. I am really amazed you are handling it as well as you are, it speaks volumes about who you are and your personal strength. I dont think anything I can say will help except I  will pray for you and your wife. I can only say that no matter what happens you both will meet again in a very different place with no pain, no fear and looking young again. God bless both of you and God please keep John in the peace and joy you promised those who love you.

Psa 23:1  A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. 
Psa 23:2  He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. 
Psa 23:3  He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. 
Psa 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 
Psa 23:5  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. 
Psa 23:6  Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. 

[Disco]

I'm saddened to read this update, John.  My thoughts and prayers are with Rita, you, your family and friends during this most difficult time.  I hope you can find some comfort knowing your devotion to the love of your life is an inspiration to many of us. 

[Jess Tolbirt]

I really feel for the both of you. Hard to lose a loved one like that. prayers from us here to all of you..

[..]