I'm I a fool?

[cokebottle10]

I’m 55 and have only have four real jobs, Army, orange juice plant electrician, field engineer for a manufacture of bulk packers and now an engineer for a plastic bottle manufacturer. I’m lucky to have never been un-employed and have worked for some very good companies. My wife of 36 years and I decided that it would be best if she was to stay home with the kids. She started volunteering at the school so she would have the same hours as the kids and then that turned into a job at the schools.  We have stayed away from credit cards and paid cash for most things that we have.  I now own most of what I have. Have money in the bank and have saved for retirement. I have no idea what my credit score is because I froze it years ago. My wife and I have always said that if we don’t have the cash to buy it then we can’t afford it.

My brother on the other hand has also had good jobs with good companies and has been married a long time. Both him and his wife work. Together they make a little more than me. But they, like most Americans spend it. They have nice vacations, nice cars and nice things. But they have a net worth of less than zero. Both he and his wife will have small pensions plus Social Security and some savings in a 401ks.

My wife and I have done what we thought was right by living within our means and saving for a rainy day and retirement. Now I’m starting to think that was foolish. Even when I was in my 20s I didn’t think I would ever see a dime of Social Security because it would be broke from the baby boomers before I retired. I’m even more sure of it now. I’m sure that what I have and have saved will be taxed to pay for the ones that did not save. That’s why I think now that my brother was right and I’m a fool.

I just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this.

Thanks, David in Fletcher NC.

[Pete]

It is always better to do what you think is right, regardless of the outcome.

[Pepmyster]

I agree with Pete. Only you can decide what is right or wrong for you. No looking back, just forward.

[Patrick]

David, I think you done good. I feel I have done as you have. Whether it turns out to be right or wrong, I prefer to take responsibility for myself and family.
I have friends, probably like many of us have, that have felt they had to live the high life and now have nothing for retirement. Of course they now get either mad or jealous at those that have looked to the future.
I doubt Social Security will end even under the current nit-wit, but, changes will surely have to be made.

[T-Bird]

You and I must have the same brother

[Oss]

+2, and I gave each of the kids 4 yrs of college as long as they kept a B average so they
would not have debt either

Debt is only useful when you want to leverage, at least to me anyway

Just dont forget where you put those mason jars full of money   

[saddlesore]

You and I both lived within our means. I see people who didn't and now they are worrying about day to day expenses.   They key is to know your limitations and enjoy what you have.  Having "stuff" does not bring happiness.

[BobB]

David, I think exactly the way you do.  I've got 15 years on you but the house was paid off 10 years ago and there is no other debt.  We have always paid for toys (motorcycles) with cash.  Currently collecting SS, a reasonable pension and will now have to start withdrawing from 401Ks.  I got my material values from my Father who was hit by the 1929 depression when he was in his early twenties.  Such events change people for a lifetime.

[The emperor has no clothes]

You and I must have the same brother

I think we all have the same brother. I'm beginning to wonder if my Mom was sleeping around

[Jess from VA]

No Dave, you did it right (and should be proud of yourselves). 

But we all have to keep a close eye on the thieves in the G.  About the only cash money left in the country is in personal savings, 401Ks, and IRAs.  And the greedy bastards have been looking wistfully at it for some time. 

[dreamaker]

Dave you are right, the way you are doing it. That is the way it should be done, you feel like odd man out, because most peoples a$$es belongs to the company store. Just think!! What you have, you own. If right now everything would take a crap, you would be golden. Problem with people is they make a $1 and spend a $1.50, then wonder what went wrong. Plus our leader giving our tax money away, like a drunken sailor to every country that asks fir it, don't help either. Bottom line is you are not a fool, you are just responsible.

Little advice to you, don't tell people your business, what you do, and don't have, is your business. People that are not responsible, tend to look at you as a golden goose, and try and shame you to bail them out.  Thing is you will never see that money again.

[Jack]

Somewhat reminds me of an older gentleman I know who had a farm and paid cash for everything he owned.  He decided to buy a new tractor and since its cost had gone way up over the years the salesman offered to finance it for him.  Checked his rating and found he had to get his good-for-nothing son-in-law that he had bailed out countless times to co-sign for him. The old man left in a huff deciding to get another season out of that old tractor.

[Spirited-6]

David, you have a lot of good remarks from our friends. I would offer one suggestion for you. At 55 years young you must have some thing in your life that you would love to do and have not because of cost. Do in now before father time says you are too old to enjoy ! 

[Rams]

I agree with Don to a great extent.    Most of us have a "bucket list" we want to empty before we are too old, broke or pass on.   I've always tried to live within my means while still rearing my children and supporting a spouse.    (Not that she hasn't contributed, she has.)   We've used credit when it was necessary and paid cash when we could but, I always paid myself or, my retirement first.    I don't have a lot by some folks standards but, I'll survive and I plan on working on that bucket list.

Due to my own personal situation, I've  decided to retire at age 62.   I know if I wait and continue to work longer, my SS will go up but, I've worked and saved since my first job at 12 years of age.    I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor and efforts.    I suggest you consider what you want from life and go from there.

Those that have planned and prepared for the future have used the 6 P Retirement Plan.  
(Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance)

Those that haven't, get what they planned for.   Not Much.

From your post, I'd say you've done well.   Enjoy it.  

[MarkT]

The way I understand it, the SS payout is figured so you get the same amount by the end if you start early, or start later, assuming you live to an average age.  Until you consider the dirtbag liberals are spending money as fast as possible - so you can pretty well figure, if you are prudent and wait to start so your payments are bigger, you just might find out the pile has run out along with their promises.  I say, start the SS as soon as you can.  Social Security represents money you paid into the system, it's not a freebie. But it is a pyramid system, which is collapsing as top heavy even before the dirtbags steal from it for all their entitlement programs / bama phone giveaways etc.

[paul246]

To me, life is a balancing act.

You must save for the future.

You must "live" while you are healthy enough to do so.

If you do nothing but save and hoard you may die wealthy in cash, but poor in life experiences.

Possessing "stuff" isn't what I'm referring to.

[Willow]

As to the original question, David, you've not given us enough information to determine.   

You have obviously made some good choices in life and it has served you well.  Good handling of finances is its own reward and doesn't really need the support of bragging or putting down others for doing differently.  I have, at least for the latter portion of my life, followed a plan similar to yours but I do still owe on the house in which I live.  At this time that's my only indebtedness.  I have, however, known people who have borrowed, spent the money well and made themselves wealthy on that borrowed money.  I've also known lots of folks who borrowed, wasted the borrowed money and ended up with nothing but indebtedness.

I'm glad it's worked for you.  Be thankful that life taught you well and is giving you a good return on your investment.   

[cookiedough]

I think you done good and no fool. 

I live within my means and dare say a tightwad. 

If I cannot afford an item,  I don't buy it, plan and simple to me. 

Real savings starts at a young age in early 20's when you get your first full time job.  Nothing wrong with that.  At age 23 my wife and I put 20K down on our new house in 1993 all we had to our name at the time.  12 years later by age 35 we had our small ranch home paid in full, debt free.  Not many people can say that.  I have talked to investors stating that was foolish by paying off our house in early 30's vs. investing that much money into 401K/stock market.  My way of thinking it was the right thing to do.  ONLY do what YOU think is right is my way of thinking. 

I have known dozens making much more than us making 2-3x's as much and they are not as well off.  They choose to spend money foolishly in my eyes taking fancy yearly trips, etc.  and have no idea on how to save for the future.  I could not live that way, but  they are comfy with that and to each their own.

I know a few at work who have filed for bankruptcy not once, but 2-3x's in their lives.  They seem to think that is the norm, but I could not live literally paycheck to paycheck wondering if I can afford even a 50 dollar purchase without bouncing the check.   

I know once my 2 kids go to college in 2-4 more years I know I will be poor again though, I'm not that rich!   

[ptgb]

I'm only 45, so in the middle of the push/pull, saving vs. spending. I have just a few differences than most which I think affect the future of where I want to be in 30-40 years, along with my current outlook.

Very, very few of the men and women in my immediate family have made it past age 65. Bad genes? Poster-children for major disease processes? Who knows?

I am lucky to have a pretty good job, that supplies one of the few-left defined benefits pensions; plus a small 457(b) plan, will make for above average pension.

My wife has a more than pretty good job, also with defined benefits and a much bigger 457(b), so she will be much above average, not needing my pension to depend on.

The step-kids all have degrees and good jobs, and have no student debt because of the entire family (us, their dad, them), so they pretty much don't need assistance.


Because of all that, we have decided to make the most out of life (now) that we possibly can without going nuts over-extending ourselves.  We have nice things and get to take some nice motorcycle trips every year and do things around the house that we have always wanted to do. I try to do as much of the upgrades and maintenance (motorcycle upkeep, remodeling, building) to save a buck and learn new things, so that really helps getting the most out of our "fun money".

So far, it has worked out pretty well..... but, I'll probably end up living to be 100 years old and the above outlook/formula will go out the window as I sit on the corner with a cardboard sign and cup.  ???

[Flint]

David,

  I think your on the right path, I have owned my house since I was fifty and though I have never saved any money my wife has had a 401k for 25 years and always puts in the maximum amount.
We always put our tax returns in the bank and never spend it. Whatever vacations we take or toys I buy are paid for by me cash. It works well for us.
   On the other hand my father worked 6 days a week his whole life in construction and my mother for 20 years in the school system and they have nothing, a 10 year old truck and 1/3 of a payment on a house that me and my sister pay the rest of. I told my wife I never  want to live like that ever. Funny thing is that her father is the same way worked at Kodak for 30 years and whenever his 1998 truck breaks down we have to send him the money to get it fixed. There both broke and its no way to live. My father often apologizes to me for having no money.
   I don't think your a fool for saving some money as long as your not afraid to spend some to  do the things that make you happy

[cokebottle10]

Thanks for the kind words from all that replied. I do feel fortunate for the life that I have.

My brother is a good guy. He and his wife are more than capable of paying their bills. They just don’t save anything. Right now he would like to get a new Indian Motorcycle. He fell in love with them when they came out. He said that he can’t afford it but I know that once he gets the boat paid off he will then be able to afford the payments and he will get one.

He is living pay check to pay check, but he is okay with it. I can’t do that. I have to have something in reserve. At times I think that I'm a fool for thinking like that.

In the past few years my wife and I have started to take more time for ourselves. Even buying the Valkyrie was part of that “more time for ourselves”. I guess finding the right balance is the key.

Thanks, David in Fletcher NC.

[cookiedough]

Question though:  you say you are age 55 or so, but still have kids at home correct or am I mistaken? 

Late start on raising a family or ??? 

I know my neighbor was 50 before having his first child (wife 40 at the time) and my wife's uncle also was in his early 50's when he started.   

Not so sure I could handle raising young infants in my 50's anymore, let alone mid 40's like I am now.  Plus,  my neighbor will be around 65 or so when his daughter graduates high school. 

It's going to feel weird though for me in say 5 more years age 50ish or so when both kids are out of the house. 

Anybody else feel weird when their kids get out on their own in college/adult life?  Sorry for changing topic, sort of. 

I'd like to long distance travel more once the kids are out of the house since I haven't seen 1,000's of areas of the U.S.  I would like to see since most of our family vacations are within 400 miles from home.   Only 2 vacation trips, one to Alabama and one to South Dakota, were very long distances in my adult life. 

The main reason we haven't been able to go on longer distance vacations is my wife's job has a very tough time getting 1 week or longer off for vacation since if she is gone that long,  the company might go belly up and then we are in the poor house for sure.  Vacation is nice, but only if you are able to use it some in 1 week intervals.   

[cokebottle10]

Hey Cookiedough,

My son is 33 and my dauther is 30. I also have 3 grand dauthers.

Thanks, David in Fletcher.

[Pappy!]

You did it your way.
You can change your thinking and your way any time you feel like it.
Enjoy the life you have left any way you feel you should....it's yours and you don't get a do-over.

[Robert]

Let me ask you a question, when your hungry do you let anyone tell you what or when to eat? The fact that you have a desire in your heart and think someone else leads a better life means you have doubts about your chosen path. No one can answer the question for you although all are good answers. We as humans box ourselves in by our choices when one day, we say hey maybe that is the way to go, but most times we are right where we are supposed to be. You have made wise choices and you can branch out a bit and experience for yourself some of what you think you are missing. Once experienced you will either adopt it or discard it. No one can tell you this and to die knowing there is something you may have wanted to do would be a hard thing. Regrets will haunt you to the grave. Branch out try some new things and see if you really are missing something. There are always prices to pay for a chosen lifestyle, look at the government always kicking the can down the road and sweating in the meantime. No one knows when life will end for each of us so now start the learning process and see what you are missing if anything.

[dreamaker]

In my opinion, what you need to do is sit down with Mama, and decide what you guys want to do. Don't worry about what everybody else thinks is fun, bucket list are crap, just some ones fad nothing more. Many people live beyond their means and live to impress their neighbors, rather than impressing themselves, and try to convince others, that they are more successful than they are. They are a slave to the plastic, life is a roll of the dice, no point encouraging failure. My advice, first step, improve your health the best you can, without your health you got nothing, anyways doctors and hospitals will empty your account in a minute.  Getting older doesn't mean, you have to fall apart, your health is your wealth. I own every thing I have and I never regretted it. And ride safely!!

[DIGGER]

You did good......and the day will come when your brother will be knocking on your door needing some money to keep from losing his house....or other debts..........get your answer ready now.

vacations don't have to be real expensive....there are a lot of things you and your wife can go do.    Cheapest vacation I've taken with my wife is going to DC to the Smithsonian....and also at Arlington Cemetary......it's all free and you can spend days there.

[dreamaker]

Digger is right!!  We don't suggest all work and no play, but always need a break. I use to pack up my Wing on Fri. and as soon as I got out of work, I headed north. didn't plan anything, always an adventure, never knew what would happen next. Some of the best times of my life, and have met some of the nicest people I have ever known. You got a nice bike, go for it!!! But like said before, don't tell people you business, and don't tell them what you have saved. Slacker tend to think, what you have is theirs also, specially family, watch out for the gilt trip, I have brother and sisters too, so I know, I've been there.

[cookiedough]

Digger is right!!  We don't suggest all work and no play, but always need a break. I use to pack up my Wing on Fri. and as soon as I got out of work, I headed north. didn't plan anything, always an adventure, never knew what would happen next. Some of the best times of my life, and have met some of the nicest people I have ever known. You got a nice bike, go for it!!! But like said before, don't tell people you business, and don't tell them what you have saved. Slacker tend to think, what you have is theirs also, specially family, watch out for the gilt trip, I have brother and sisters too, so I know, I've been there.

Sort of like my older brother and his son.  I found out about 4 years ago that they went to my mom for a 2 grand loan to get his son a jacked up old chevy truck he didn't need in the first place.  Only reason why I found out is I balance my mom's checkbook and was wondering why 2 grand was taken out on a personal check.  Mom told me and I was cool with it, well sort of, but mom said it was just a loan and will be repaid back or so they told her anyways.  Well,  here it is 4 years later and NO 2 grand repaid back to my mom.  Brother's son is still in the military and is getting paid with am sure free room and board.  NO reason on why 4 years later only 2 grand cannot be paid back.  Their entire family (3 kids) just choose to spend money foolishly is all.  They work longer hours than we do but still have a tough time making ends meet when it comes to bills and getting newer vehicles, etc. 

[Westernbiker]

All I can say is do what you feel is right. I am about at a half way point between you and your brother. I see my dad who scrimped and saved for 'THE GOLDEN YEARS' When he retired he bought a motorhome so he and my mom could travel. She had a stroke and out the door went the travel idea. He took care of her for about 7 years, then finally could not do it any more. She was housed at a very nice place and they took good care of her and dad meet someone else in this process. Mom died a short time after that and dad developed an eye disability and could not drive, weld, see you very good etc.... Thus I seen all this and decided I would do things while I was younger and still able too. Health could be gone in one final swoop, you just never know. I say 'Live for today, for tomorrow may never come to be'

[mrtappan]

I don't have kids so there's no reason for me not to spend tons of money and enjoy myself.  I also ride motorcycles and am quite fond of beer and whiskey.  So I'm not really planning for a long term stay anyways.  I do however already own a funeral plot so I have that base covered. 

[fudgie]

I think you are doing wonderfull. If your happy then its all worth while. 

I also agree with mrtappen.

I do live paycheck to paycheck. What medic doesnt?   Not as bad as a few yrs ago tho. Whew! I do have some left over after bills each month to go have fun. My truck and bike are paid off so that helps. I only plan 3 long bike trips a yr, if the funds are there. My Sturgis funds are always there as Im always adding to whats left over from the yr before. I eat cheap if at all, furnace is set at 56 deg, and any other penny pinching stuff I do. Not because Im poor but just to add to my bank account. I only buy things I need. I do have a 403b and a life ins policy that I will use in 20-25 yrs to live off. My check from my 2nd job goes for the spending part. Food, movies, gas, etc and EMS check for bills.
Dad works on the RR and brings home more in 1 yr then I will in 3. But he works alot and never takes a vaca or do anything that does not involve work. He is cranky alot! Im not that way. I see stuff everyday at work that makes me think. I want to enjoy things now. Like the saying goes, "Im here for a good time, not a long time."

[cookiedough]

I think the key here is if you are happy,  that is all that really matters.

I do not live life as someone else thinks they should live it and that is fine with me. 

I do think though I can unwind a tad more and not get so upset when the kids and wife spend money so wastful and foolishly.  I swear the teenage girl and wife have enough clothes for 20 women.  Pisses me off.   

[dreamaker]

See when I was young I thought a head, I figured a way to save money for my future and my retirement fund.  So what I did,  I told my wife to take a hike and then I bought a bike.

[Jersey mike]

David,

you sir are not foolish, as the saying goes "stupid is as stupid does" and owning your stuff as well as having money in the bank is the smartest thing possible for the years ahead.

Before I met my wife, I spent money like it was nothing, she was just the opposite. As time went on
we rubbed off on each other. I taught her it's ok to spend when necessary and she taught me to let her handle the books, pay the bills, and when it's time to pull back on the reigns.

We haven't taken a vacation in over 20 years, but we paid off the house almost 10 yrs early and put 3 kids through Catholic grade school. We sacrificed, but we re where we want to be. Could our house have some new upgrades, sure it could but all things in time. Tax returns went toward mortgage principle or saved for the house, anniversary gifts we usually something for the house.


Just this Christmas we put our first new kitchen floor (old one was 40+yrs old) in and bought our first NEW kitchen table.

Be proud of how you managed your finances and remember it's ok to spend it when you're ready.

Congrats on being financially independent.


BIG TYPO:

we didn't pay off the house 10 yrs early, house was paid off early, in 10 yrs.

[Momz]

+2, and I gave each of the kids 4 yrs of college as long as they kept a B average so they
would not have debt either

Debt is only useful when you want to leverage, at least to me anyway

Just dont forget where you put those mason jars full of money   

AMEN!!!! 

[Firefighter]

I have wondered the same thing over the years. I felt pretty much alone in this, so its good to hear others but think we are a minority. I have always worked two to three jobs at the same time and none of them were very good pay. I joined our city fire dept. at 32 years of age and was the best decision I could have made. At that time my pay was terrible and I had to borrow money to pay bills. I have always had to work every day to make ends meet. My wife when she worked was always jobs that had little pay.
The fire dept. now starts with much better pay and those new guys buy houses early and drive expensive vehicles, have boats, etc. I know they owe it all.
 
Me on the other hand I do own everything I have, but EVERYTHING is old, I mean house , vehicles, motorcycle, wife, everything! But its paid for! I have more money than I ever have had, but know I could spend it all in a moment,If I bought new things. I have only been out of debt for a few years and do worry about the cost of everything. I want more things, motorcycles, boat, build a work shop, etc. but don't because I am too cautious, worked too hard for the money. I'm 58 now, I think, and will retire in a year (burned out) hope to get to do something, see something while I still can. Firefighter

[czuch]

mY CARS have wiper switches on the dash and high beam under the foot.
My old Fords are worth more than the 401K by 92%I don't care.
There is no.
I don't care!!!thing for me but to startte sinkin at the switch
.

[dreamaker]

Nothing wrong with having a new car or things you need, its when you can't afford them and you buy them. The objective is to be financially smart, not go into the other direction, and be cheap. That is called excessive compulsive and hoarding. I am with you far as accessories in my vehicles, I like handles an switches, that makes sense. But we are getting older, its harder to crawl under car, so in some cases you have to conform to their evils, with a new cruiser. To me all the useless trash they put in vehicles today, just encourages people to be more lazy, and almost a guarantee that thing will fail, and will cost us, an arm, a leg, two fingers and a thumb.

[bscrive]

No one on their death bed ever wished that they worked harder, worked more or saved more.  They usually wished that they lived more.  You did what you needed to provide for your family.  Now it is play time.  I don't plan on dieing with a full pocket.  My wife is provided for when I die but we saw her dad with a load of savings and he died at 49 and said that we were not going to do that.  He never went anywhere or did anything.