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Author Topic: Dementia  (Read 519 times)
Patrick
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*****
Posts: 15433


VRCC 4474

Largo Florida


« on: November 02, 2015, 08:06:30 AM »


 
 
ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?
ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?
 
O NE
Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splendaand sugar.)

(And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour)
**** This actually happened to me when I stopped at a vegetable stand in Florence WI. There were two high school girls running the stand and I asked the one girl for a half dozen cobs of corn. She actually went over to the other girl and asked her how many cobs were in a half dozen. I almost lost it right then and there.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)



THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.

(Keep shuddering!!)



FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!



FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

Brunette, by the way!!



SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'



Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.

Don't laugh....it is all true...



Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 5 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now! And remember,
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
 
 
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old2soon
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*****
Posts: 23512

Willow Springs mo


« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2015, 08:29:30 AM »

I've made mention of this before but in line with your post!  2funny The young people at micky Ds-generally female behind the register-If the amount rings up 3 dollars and say 43 cents and I hand them a 5 dollar bill and 45 cents in change you have NO idea how many times I've been told I gave them Too much money!  Undecided I ask politely-getting more difficult to be polite-to just ring it up.  :uglystupid2:Want to REALLY have fun with a young person working a register??  Roll Eyes This works especially well at fast food joints. Wait til the total rings up hand them a twenty and then cover the change read out on their side and see if they can figure it out!  2funny IF you do get one that does-doubtful these days-ask them to run for a political office when they are old enough!  Wink And as a closing question-NOT counting the Amish-has anyone seen a young person walking or driving WITH OUT a cell phone in their sweaty paws??  crazy2 RIDE SAFE. P S-NOT picking on the Amish but I live less than an hour away from an Amish community.
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check.  1964  1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240  2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
solo1
Member
*****
Posts: 6127


New Haven, Indiana


« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2015, 04:55:50 AM »

Dennis, reminds me of the time I was in Columbus Ohio on motorcycle related business.  I checked into a Hampton Inn.  The clerks had trouble with the computer and couldn't figure the sales tax on the room.  I did it in my head but it took five minutes before they were convinced that the numbers were right, using pocket calculators.
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scooperhsd
Member
*****
Posts: 5886

Kansas City KS


« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2015, 05:28:44 PM »

Oh so true about #9 !!

Actually - I've been wearing glasses for nearsightedness since age 11 . At age 45, I started wearing progressive bifocals, at age 53 (2 years ago), I got special computer glasses for work. This year for the first time, I had to get new bifocal glasses after only one year.

OTOH as long as I''m still falling apart, I'm still alive  .  cooldude

And the one on the elevator music is wrong - the elevator music IS what you listened to those many years ago...
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