"T" For Texas

‘T’ For Texas, ‘T’ For Tennessee…

Yeah, and let me add, ‘T’ for TOO cursed COLD! The actual temperature was quite manageable, but only with the correct gear… present and worn. I didn’t have the former with me, so the latter was impossible… I decided to make a little detour back to the ol’ homestead to rectify that glaring miscalculation.

So, once home I dialed up the thermostat to ‘bake’, shed all my soiled clothing (more about that later), settled into my recliner and turned on the TV to catch up on the world… and promptly fell fast asleep. When I awoke, it was time to go to bed… Yeah, I got ‘well’ on all of that!!!

I have a sign hanging in my laundry room that reads, “I always wanted to be a procrastinator, I just never got around to it…” When rested, settled, relaxed, yadda, yadda, one can usually be more circumspect, rational… and responsible. I have a few (more than that, actually) neglected projects and chores here that I’ve so far skillfully managed to avoid and/or postpone… Now, I’m thinking it might be a good idea to act like an adult for a while… Nothing over the top or anything, but, you know…

Last Sunday morning, I awoke wondering if I should take that road trip I’ve been posting on here about… I couldn’t muster the wherewithal to actually pull the trigger however, so that was adding a bit of anxiety to my dilemma, as one might imagine… By noon that day, though, things came together just enough for me to finally pull that elusive trigger; so, while the iron was hot, I struck.

Getting a very late start on my plan, I decided we should just take our time, stop along the way for whatever, then spend the night wherever we were when it suited me, and then arrive at the beach the following day. And, things actually went quite well along that line… to start…

A very nice ride down some back roads I know about to Pine Level, AL, home of a branch of ‘Hamburger King’, and reputedly one of the best burgers in Alabama, possibly the entire nation. I wouldn’t personally go quite that far in such a claim, but I will concede those burgers are pretty doggone great! I stopped for brunch… “Deluxe with sweet tea”, I ordered at the window, and then found my place to wait… Man, that is a downright worthwhile meal, and I’d say it is entirely possible I will return!!! Again…

I figured Enterprise, AL, would be a good place to stay this interim evening. Nothing there really… Well, it is home of the only known to me statue of a bowevil… Yep, they have it right smack in the middle of main street in the middle of downtown. See, back when cotton was king, they had a wicked infestation of those pesky devils, and it wiped most of the local economy out… according to the account I’ve been told.

Well, these resilient folks decided they’d need to diversify their economy to survive in the future, so they set about doing just that… and it worked. A thriving little community nowadays, but with little cotton grown in the immediate vicinity. The bowevil was credited with helping them find their renaissance and rise from the ‘ashes’, so to speak, and to find even greater prosperity, so they’ve chosen to honor it thusly. They also have a couple of motels and a great BBQ restaurant… So, what’s not to like?

It was earlier than I’d thought it would be by the time we rode into town… and I didn’t want to stop yet. Being on the first day of a road trip can be like that… You just hate to put the kickstand down and the bike cover on, especially when you’ve only ridden a fairly short distance. Hmmm, maybe I can make Marianna, FL, before dark…. I decided to find out…

We did cruise into town, and we still had a bit of daylight left, so… I, naturally, then proceeded to go for the whole enchilada… I figured even if dark did come before arrival at the beach, I’d still be close enough to make it with little difficulty… Critters, of course, would have to be taken into consideration… as Bambi does have a rather large extended family presence in that area… Oh well, the life of a biker gypsy does carry with it certain risks… It ain’t a life for the faint of heart, right?

My decision was rewarded with gazing in awe at one of the most spectacular sunsets I’ve seen in many years! The color ranges from yellow to orange, to red, to pastel pink, then some wild combination shade of pink/orange I don’t recall ever having seen before. All against a backdrop of blue, purple, a magnificent, stunning variation of turquoise, and ultimately toning down to black… WOW!!! That sight alone was worth the ride onward to the beach!

The weather that day had been somewhere between fantabuloso and fantasmagoric! The weather guessers had gotten it right this time, and the forecast seemed to promise more of the same… A front was due to pass through in a couple of days, though, but I did take that into account… I didn’t quite get that part totally correct as it turned out, however…

Thursday morning, I loaded up, squared my account with the motel clerk for my beachside respite, and headed out for Texas. I’d arranged to meet Troutdude in Mandeville, LA, on our way through…. Owing to a somewhat late start that morning, and to the longer distance than I’d thought, this rendezvous didn’t happen. Oh well, the devil is in the details, I’ve heard, and a couple of them were at work here… What the hay, this wasn’t my first little plan alteration that became necessary…

Now, you would think the temperature would rise as the morning progressed, and that by noon… well… surely it would be warmer than it had been at KSU… I didn’t have a thermometer with me to verify this, but in my estimation that assumption was bassackwards this day!!!

Whether or not that was really the case, I can tell you that my shivering had increased noticeably, and that accordingly my comfort and ambition levels had declined markedly!!! Riding across the causeway towards Mobile just off to our west, the rather strong wind had been on the nose, so everything negative was being amplified. Tipping the scales towards aborting this mission entirely, though, was another little event… Let me explain a couple of things…

With the passing of each birthday, I’ve been unable to avoid noticing certain changes occurring… In several ways, but pertinent to this story, specific changes in bowel activity apply. Nothing startling or particularly worrisome, just little things that occur from time to time, to catch me off guard and/or cause mild embarrassment… I’m really dreading the day ‘Depends’ becomes yet another item I have to pack for a road trip!

Now this is admittedly an infrequent unpleasantness, but it has happened, it did just happen, and it likely will happen again… I’ve even begun developing a vocabulary as a result… Like the new word ‘poopperosity’ for example. That is, a measure of the propensity or urgency for or likely nearness of an impending poop event.

Not precise, unfortunately, as some events spring up so quickly that no warning or indication is received. A subtle variation on the traditional poop pooperosity range is radical swings… Not known during my youth, but something that I have to consider lately…

Constipation is not, mercifully, something with which I’ve had much experience. So, I was indeed mildly surprised when I realized that that condition had come around. No worries, I figured, nature will sort that out as she usually does with things of this type… well, yes, but… Yep, there are always a surprise or two awaiting us when we least expect it. In retrospect, I should have just bought some Greek yogurt or something early on…

I stopped for some breakfast near De Funiak Springs, FL, plus I was already needing a warm-up break. This confused me a bit, as I’d expected my first stop might involve removal of a layer or two… The really nice gal who took my order was also a rider, so we had an exchange of a couple of quips, and… You know, if I were my daughter’s age, I’d probably have embarrassed myself hitting on that one… Oh well…

I finished my meal, she topped off my coffee cup, and I proceeded to walk outside for an all-important after meal smoke and to finish my coffee. Just as I was completing that pleasant pause, my phone rang… it was my good bud Sam. We chatted for only a few minutes, and that’s a good thing… I was all of a sudden starting to feel… well, very full down in my lower torso!

I walked back inside and headed for the men’s washroom… About half way there my pace quickened and my stride shortened! Man! could it be? Yep. Only a slight amount of ‘anal leakage’ before I made it onto the throne! Geez, earlier you couldn’t have pried all that accumulated stuff out with a crowbar, and now Hoover Dam couldn’t have held it back!!! My atrophied gluts hadn’t stood a chance. If I hadn’t been so close to a suitable receptacle at that precise moment, things could have turned out very ugly indeed!!!

No real harm done, and I could easily avoid turning my back on that lovely lass behind the counter… I made my way to ALI… I was earnestly starting to ponder the wisdom of heading for Texas right then…

The ride into Mobile, AL, convinced me that pressing on was foolhardy, so I made the turn onto I-65 and embarked upon the trek homeward. I never really warmed up that day until I was comfortably seated in my recliner back at the house…

Heck, I was home, it felt good, and the funk was completely gone… I think I’ll just hang around a few days before contemplating “T” for Texas again… I got to do it, though, ya know… It’s just in me to finish a ride once begun… I guess I should add, “T” for Tenacious, huh…

DDT