My dumbass moves seem to be coming with more regularity

[The emperor has no clothes]

We are riding to Zion this weekend. I noticed a couple days ago my front tire was almost to the wear bars, so with a debatable amount of time to get a tire ordered in time, I decide to put on a Metzler I have with a couple thousand miles left on it. But I don't have any days off till the trip so I did it last night after I got home. Every thing went pretty good with the normal grunts and strains from an old man demounting and mounting tires. When I get done I take her for a test run around the neighborhood for a shakedown . My driveway slopes from the garage out to street. As I'm rolling back next to my wife's new Miata I grab the brake to slow my roll. OH crap !! No front brakes, I had forgot to pump them back up after the install.  By the time I get on the rear brake and pump the fronts up I'm about 3 feet from traffic going up the street. What's that saying ? God watches out for fools.

[BobB]

All I can say is, as you get older, try not to be your handle...   

[John Schmidt]

So who was the "old man" doing the tire change. I had to take a peek and you ain't but 58.   

Just yanking that chain a bit, since my 50's I've had to "double hump" getting out of my recliner. Now, I swear that chair is even lower....sometimes takes three "humps" to get out. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

So who was the "old man" doing the tire change. I had to take a peek and you ain't but 58.  

Just yanking that chain a bit, since my 50's I've had to "double hump" getting out of my recliner. Now, I swear that chair is even lower....sometimes takes three "humps" to get out.  

Ive seen the projects you've been working on. You aren't fooling anybody, you are probably only 35.  

All I can say is, as you get older, try not to be your handle...    

It's much too late for that 

[old2soon]

Since I bought her and she accepted me almost 6 year ago I've printed out all the procedures and have them plastic covered in a loose leaf binder. I follow the check list during each procedure. So far I've ONLY screwed up half a dozen times or so!  I'm younger than John-by a tiny bit-and older than you!     RIDE SAFE.

[Jess from VA]

Everyone needs a little excitement in their life. 

But no front brakes is a bit TOO exciting for this old fellow.   

I have no experience humping my recliner though.   

[The emperor has no clothes]

Everyone needs a little excitement in their life. 

But no front brakes is a bit TOO exciting for this old fellow.   

I have no experience humping my recliner though.   

just need a little lube Jess 

[baldo]

All I can say is, as you get older, try not to be your handle...   

lol

[Willow]

Meathead, I'm glad you came out of this one okay.  What I'm finding is that getting older there are so many things I have to think about that once seemed to be automatic.  Maybe that's not such a bad thing as it brings me into a realm that moves more slowly and seems less likely to cut off fingers and toes or at least to do it at such a pace that its' not a complete surprise when it happens.  Mostly I regret the failing of the memory and the uncontrolled drifting of the thought patterns.  Come to think of it there was appoint to this and I can't remember what it was.

I'm glad your reflexes are still quick enough to catch your failing mind's oversights.  Don't let that get out of hand.

...
Just yanking that chain a bit, since my 50's I've had to "double hump" getting out of my recliner. Now, I swear that chair is even lower....sometimes takes three "humps" to get out. 

John, I'm only sixty-five and honestly enough I'd give a month's pay for the ability to double hump again.   

[solo1]

The only reason that I don't make mistakes is that I leave the wrenching to Mark.

I got a kick out of John's attempt to get out of the chair,  I thought that I was the only one that has that trouble.

Last week I found out about another problem an 88 year old can have.  I drove up to the state park to get a senior's pass. I try to time my BM's so that I don't have to use 'foreign' johns. Not always possible with senior aging.

Didn't work!   I didn't use the outdoor toilets (one holers) because of those damn triangle wing  shaped flys.  Instead I walked downstairs at the Pottawatomie Inn to use a regular can.  Did I mention that this Inn is old and not "handicap friendly?"   Crap!  I crashed down on the can, much lower than usual, did my job, and then wondered if I could get back up. Nothing, I mean nothing to grab onto.   At this point, I could just picture an old geezer with white hair yelling for help in a little downstairs rest room and caught with my pants down......literally!

I counted up to three at least five times before I got enough guts and the strength to raise up from the can but I did it.  My knees worked, sorta. Good thing because I couldn't use my arms to pull myself up.

I didn't even have a senior moment, just made a poor choice in restrooms.

[John Schmidt]

OK guys, when I say "double hump" to get out of a big easy chair, I'm sure you all know what I mean. Any other reference.....at my age, the term Thanksgiving comes to mind.   

[Valkjerk]

Keep this thread going. Laughing my droopy ass off.

[MarkT]

Don't have an appropriate senior comment (yet) but what occurs to me, is the procedure to "set" the axle clamps after a tire change includes pumping up the front brake then bouncing the fork against the set brake several times.  So it wouldn't have happened if you followed the manual. Need a manual?  I think Dag has one online.  Just sayin'...

[Firefighter]

I used to work part time for a very grouchy auto mechanic. He always barked at me after I did a brake job "did you pump the *#%& brakes"? Then one day he backed a car he was working on out of the lift and ran over some tools and hit a wall. I was laughing while he was screaming, the board wouldn't want me to print what was said after that!

[old2soon]

The only reason that I don't make mistakes is that I leave the wrenching to Mark.

I got a kick out of John's attempt to get out of the chair,  I thought that I was the only one that has that trouble.

Last week I found out about another problem an 88 year old can have.  I drove up to the state park to get a senior's pass. I try to time my BM's so that I don't have to use 'foreign' johns. Not always possible with senior aging.

Didn't work!   I didn't use the outdoor toilets (one holers) because of those damn triangle wing  shaped flys.  Instead I walked downstairs at the Pottawatomie Inn to use a regular can.  Did I mention that this Inn is old and not "handicap friendly?"   Crap!  I crashed down on the can, much lower than usual, did my job, and then wondered if I could get back up. Nothing, I mean nothing to grab onto.   At this point, I could just picture an old geezer with white hair yelling for help in a little downstairs rest room and caught with my pants down......literally!

I counted up to three at least five times before I got enough guts and the strength to raise up from the can but I did it.  My knees worked, sorta. Good thing because I couldn't use my arms to pull myself up.

I didn't even have a senior moment, just made a poor choice in restrooms.

                SOOOOOOOOOOO THIS is what I gotz ta look forward too?  WHEN zackly did the crappers and the toilet paper dispensers get lowered?? AND under who's authority?? Curious minds and likea dat!  Really Wayne-I can relate.  Some mornings unassing the bed gits interesting. In the sleepers of my 18 wheelers I had a grab strap or a rail for an occasional assist when needed.  I have figured out though that gittin old(er) ain't fer wussies!  RIDE SAFE.

[MarkT]

Heard tell of a product that was being pushed last year.  I think Howard Stern promoted it among others. It was called a "Squatty Potty."  Sounded like a reasonable product.  I got asked what did I want for Xmas.  I mentioned it.  Didn't happen though.  Think I'll buy one for myself.  Watch this space for a review...

[old2soon]

Heard tell of a product that was being pushed last year.  I think Howard Stern promoted it among others. It was called a "Squatty Potty."  Sounded like a reasonable product.  I got asked what did I want for Xmas.  I mentioned it.  Didn't happen though.  Think I'll buy one for myself.  Watch this space for a review...

          Hopefully NOT a video review!   RIDE SAFE.

[msb]

We are riding to Zion this weekend. I noticed a couple days ago my front tire was almost to the wear bars, so with a debatable amount of time to get a tire ordered in time, I decide to put on a Metzler I have with a couple thousand miles left on it. But I don't have any days off till the trip so I did it last night after I got home. Every thing went pretty good with the normal grunts and strains from an old man demounting and mounting tires. When I get done I take her for a test run around the neighborhood for a shakedown . My driveway slopes from the garage out to street. As I'm rolling back next to my wife's new Miata I grab the brake to slow my roll. OH crap !! No front brakes, I had forgot to pump them back up after the install.  By the time I get on the rear brake and pump the fronts up I'm about 3 feet from traffic going up the street. What's that saying ? God watches out for fools.

lol...didn't I read here a little while back where you were offering to change tires for a fellow member if he could make it out your way? This post certainly isn't going to give him a lot of confidence with respect to taking you up on your offer...if he does I hope he has good insurance coverage   
In all seriousness, my hat is off to all of you that do much of your own maintenance & repairs. While I believe I could do more than the general fluid changes, etc. I do now, I just don't have the time or set up (and maybe confidence) to do so, so I pay someone else with much more experience than myself to do this work. Probably when I slow down a bit with work and am home more (and have less income) I will get myself properly set up...would love to do more of my own work on the Valk.

Speaking of a "senior" moment....my wife is always on me for leaving the key in the Valk while it's in the garage. Yesterday while she was at work, I went for a nice morning ride, came home and parked the bike and loaded up the Jeep for an afternoon of fishing. When I returned in the evening, I was "politely" informed by my dear bride that I had neglected to close the garage door, leaving my Valk with key in ignition along with other valued possessions fully "exposed" with neither of us home for about 5 hours. Lucky we live in a decent neighborhood  

[old2soon]

I've often wondered HOW the %*@$#% garage door opened up before I got back home when I KNOW I closed the blankety blank blank thing before I rolled!    RIDE SAFE.

[The emperor has no clothes]

Don't have an appropriate senior comment (yet) but what occurs to me, is the procedure to "set" the axle clamps after a tire change includes pumping up the front brake then bouncing the fork against the set brake several times.  So it wouldn't have happened if you followed the manual. Need a manual?  I think Dag has one online.  Just sayin'...

You are absolutely right. That's what I've always done in the past. This time I thought to save some time I don't need to do that, I'll just line everything up correctly and be done with it. The best placed plans of mice and men you know.  

[Patrick]

Dumbass moves, If I only make 6 a day, its been a good day.

[Master Blaster]

well my latest Oh Crap happened a couple of weeks ago just before I rolled over to 77.  Was pruning some landscaping around the place and had a heavy limb to cut with my two  extendable leg pruner so put one leg against the chest on the right side so I could use both hands to put extra pressure on the cutting jaws. Nothing wrong with that, sounds like a reasonable solution, NOT.  A couple of months ago I had to have a Vascular bypass to get some blood going to my legs and feet, and one of the major bypass spots was in the front of my right shoulder.  Big pop, much pain, another trip to the Vascular Surgeon to check blood flow.  Fortunately I didn't break anything, but believe me I am through with usual actions without thinking them through.  Dammed thing is still sore.

[Jess from VA]

I've used that very technique with my pruner too (and got the chest bruise).  At some point it's worth going to the shed for the bow saw.

Here's mine (and a common story).  I pride myself on having sharp knives.  Opening a very heavy plastic bag the other day, rather than go get some scissors, I just used the knife and cut a nice flap off my opposing finger.  Yeah, that's a nice sharp knife alright.   

The right tool for the right job is a good practice.  As opposed to settling for whatever the hell you have right at hand.

It is a good thing we all get 10 fingers (or 8 and two thumbs), cause most of us go through live abusing them with our hand tools. 

[_Sheffjs_]

 Hey can I chime in here? Oh my word I just heard a chorus of noes    sorry sometimes I'm too stupid to know if I'm hijacking a thread.   The OP reminded me of an OS moment I had, not a senior moment all be it I have those at 54.  About a decade ago I was visiting a friend of mine who owns a machine shop for high-performance car engines.  He has a lot of sweet toys and he had just bought his wife a 1957 Chevy station wagon,  it wasn't a nomad moreover just a plain straight up-and-down post.  However this thing was as near to unmolested as you could imagine and it must've cost him a royal fortune.  I am a freak for the interiors of old cars I love being inside of old cars, I don't know if it's the smell or the way the dash is made but I just absolutely dig them.   My friend Steve is the very giving type and he tosses me the keys and says take it for a drive.  Na, na, that's ok, I just want to sit in it. No take it for a drive.  Wow I had an ear to ear grin driving it until the traffic stopped suddenly! Man I hit the brakes and this thing was not stopping and now I have both feet standing on the brakes and I'm sure when I stopped there was maybe one inch left to the car in front of me.  Remember the unmolested part? Yep four wheel drum brakes. Off the main road and side streets back with my heart in my throat! 

[The emperor has no clothes]

Hey can I chime in here? Oh my word I just heard a chorus of noes    sorry sometimes I'm too stupid to know if I'm hijacking a thread.   The OP reminded me of an OS moment I had, not a senior moment all be it I have those at 54.  About a decade ago I was visiting a friend of mine who owns a machine shop for high-performance car engines.  He has a lot of sweet toys and he had just bought his wife a 1957 Chevy station wagon,  it wasn't a nomad moreover just a plain straight up-and-down post.  However this thing was as near to unmolested as you could imagine and it must've cost him a royal fortune.  I am a freak for the interiors of old cars I love being inside of old cars, I don't know if it's the smell or the way the dash is made but I just absolutely dig them.   My friend Steve is the very giving type and he tosses me the keys and says take it for a drive.  Na, na, that's ok, I just want to sit in it. No take it for a drive.  Wow I had an ear to ear grin driving it until the traffic stopped suddenly! Man I hit the brakes and this thing was not stopping and now I have both feet standing on the brakes and I'm sure when I stopped there was maybe one inch left to the car in front of me.  Remember the unmolested part? Yep four wheel drum brakes. Off the main road and side streets back with my heart in my throat! 

Interesting. I too have an original '57 210 station wagon. 283, powerglide. And yes you better be prepared to stop. We have become so used to our power brake discs that it's a shock to try to stop a big heavy car with the old drum brakes. I'm glad you didn't wreck your buddies car. 

[Chrisj CMA]

I've often wondered HOW the %*@$#% garage door opened up before I got back home when I KNOW I closed the blankety blank blank thing before I rolled!    RIDE SAFE.

Sure you were at the right house 2soon?

[DDT (12)]

Sad news, my friend... it doesn't get any better... Nope, innocent little oversights of seemingly innocuous little details bite all of us all in an uncomfortable place with increasing regularity in direct proportion to the lengthening of our teeth.

On the bright side, I've chosen to look upon these events as a rite of passage of sorts... I'm way ahead of predictions anyway, so any day is a bonus, and those so far relatively harmless miscues have afforded much more laughter than pain... So, I'll take it!

Thanks for sharing those amusing anecdotes of yours... they remind the rest of us we're 'normal' ourselves when we do stuff like that. And, welcome to gezzer-hood! I hope you find, as I have, that it ain't nearly as bad as I'd thought and feared it would be... at least so far...

DDT

[The emperor has no clothes]

Sad news, my friend... it doesn't get any better... Nope, innocent little oversights of seemingly innocuous little details bite all of us all in an uncomfortable place with increasing regularity in direct proportion to the lengthening of our teeth.

On the bright side, I've chosen to look upon these events as a rite of passage of sorts... I'm way ahead of predictions anyway, so any day is a bonus, and those so far relatively harmless miscues have afforded much more laughter than pain... So, I'll take it!

Thanks for sharing those amusing anecdotes of yours... they remind the rest of us we're 'normal' ourselves when we do stuff like that. And, welcome to gezzer-hood! I hope you find, as I have, that it ain't nearly as bad as I'd thought and feared it would be... at least so far...

DDT

I would agree, as long as the laughs outnumber the band aids all is good.

[Jess Tolbirt]

remember the MRC decks? make youself up some

[Patrick]

Sad news, my friend... it doesn't get any better... Nope, innocent little oversights of seemingly innocuous little details bite all of us all in an uncomfortable place with increasing regularity in direct proportion to the lengthening of our teeth.

On the bright side, I've chosen to look upon these events as a rite of passage of sorts... I'm way ahead of predictions anyway, so any day is a bonus, and those so far relatively harmless miscues have afforded much more laughter than pain... So, I'll take it!

Thanks for sharing those amusing anecdotes of yours... they remind the rest of us we're 'normal' ourselves when we do stuff like that. And, welcome to gezzer-hood! I hope you find, as I have, that it ain't nearly as bad as I'd thought and feared it would be... at least so far...

DDT

I would agree, as long as the laughs outnumber the band aids all is good.

LOL !   

[Roadog]

   Hey MH, we have all done that one time or another. It's called being human.  Except when I do something like that...there's ALWAYS someone there to see it . LOL.

Ride safe
Roadog

[Flat6Valk]

A live and learn moment.  Im glad you lived.



Greg
Flat6Valk

[Lyonardo]

I'll chime in with my tale of a two-person, tag-team screw up. We were both in our forties at the time, so no senior excuses back then.
I usually drove a stickshift, and  I always used the emergency brake when stopped. She always drove the automatic and she was convinced that the EB was a waste of time, no matter what I told her.
One cold day I was driving "her" car and while backing out of the driveway decided to leave her in neutral, set the EB, jump out and de-ice the back window.
I heard her yell out "honey, I keep telling you that you don't need the emergency brake on a automatic".
Well, I jumped back just in time so the car only ran over my foot instead of me.
"just pull the handle" I told her, but she was too busy panicking and apologizing.
I leaped in head first with one hand on the foot brake, and the other pulling up the EB handle.
We stopped with a whole 3 inches to spare between our rear bumper and the neighbors car across the street.
Two bonehead moves by two people that would've been OK on their own, but combined could've been a disaster.

[Valkorado]

Dug up this old post.  It fits.   

http://www.valkyrieforum.com/bbs/index.php/topic,52103.msg498276.html#msg498276

[art]

I'll chime in with my tale of a two-person, tag-team screw up. We were both in our forties at the time, so no senior excuses back then.
I usually drove a stickshift, and  I always used the emergency brake when stopped. She always drove the automatic and she was convinced that the EB was a waste of time, no matter what I told her.
One cold day I was driving "her" car and while backing out of the driveway decided to leave her in neutral, set the EB, jump out and de-ice the back window.
I heard her yell out "honey, I keep telling you that you don't need the emergency brake on a automatic".
Well, I jumped back just in time so the car only ran over my foot instead of me.
"just pull the handle" I told her, but she was too busy panicking and apologizing.
I leaped in head first with one hand on the foot brake, and the other pulling up the EB handle.
We stopped with a whole 3 inches to spare between our rear bumper and the neighbors car across the street.
Two bonehead moves by two people that would've been OK on their own, but combined could've been a disaster.

I had someting like that happen to me two weeks ago. I had just parked my F150 in my driveway and set the E brake and walked away. I heard a popping sound and turned to see my truck heading down the drive toward my neighbors car across the street. I usually leave it in gear since it is a five speed. This time I didn't. Well this 73 year old man ran like crazy and opened the door jumped in and stepped on the brake about 8' from the car. I don't hear too good but luckily I heard that popping of the E brake slip and release. Now I'm a little more careful.