Roasted Bird...True stories from the garage.

[Valk_Ridin_Soldier]

So, as I await delivery of a green and silver blown supervalk to replace my venerable (but totaled) black IS, I was reminiscing about the good old days...

I was riding home from North Carolina, taking the looooong way around through Pungo Virginia, when I approached a goose, a big fat Canadian goose, minding its own business by the side of the road.  I was riding pretty conservatively- this was a windy, narrow, two lane road.  I was minding my own business, which at the moment was piloting my Valkyrie around the curves.  My plan was to ride serenely past the goose, since I have no particular enmity or affinity for them, and continue to do so.  Apparently, said goose had other affairs to attend to on the other side of the road, and rather imprudently flapped his wings and attempted to cross the road at low altitude. Big, fat, Canadian geese do not gain altitude well, it seems.  

The sound of the goose splattering through my forks, wrapping around the side of the bike and covering me and the motorcycle with...well, Goose was pretty disturbing.  I pulled over, surveyed the damage determined it to be minimal, and after scraping the worst of it off my jeans, I continued home. A lot of the goose fewathers, goose meat, goose bones, goose...whatever sloughed off the Valk on the rest of the way home.  Some of it sorta cooked.  The blood dried on my jeans.  

I stopped to pick up an order of chicken wings on the way home.  There's this place...they do a good 15 piece for like 7 bucks, extra sauce.   I called the wife to tell her about my day while I waited.  

I went inside, washed up, changed my jeans, and went back out to the Valk.  Retrieved my supper from
the trunk.  Sat on a chair in the garage, and ate  almost all of the chicken wings, and then swiveled around to face the Valk.  Started pulling goose bits off the Valk, and was digging some roadside fois gras out from between the intake pipes when my wife poked her head out into the garage.  

She took in the sight of my befeathered Valk, the barbecue sauce on my lips, and the styrofoam container where I had been dropping the chicken wing bones and goose bits.  Somehow, 2+2+2=17, and she thought I was nibbling on the goose cooked on the F6 engine.  Her reaction was priceless.  

That was last November...one of the more memorable rides I had on the late, Great, 99 Interstate.  

Here's to the next one- coming Monday.  

[KY,Dave (AKA Misunderstood)]

 

[..]

 

[Jess from VA]

 

Good story    

Mine is a little different.  My neighbor's son (16), had a magnificent girlfriend (later wife; also 16) who came across the street asking where he/his big family was (I was working outside).  I didn't know.  She had been dropped off and had nowhere to go.  It was a very hot day. I offered her a lawn chair in the shade of my driveway next to my house (what we lawyers refer to as in plain view), and a cold bottle of water, and went back to work.  Before the neighbors returned, my wife returned.  She wanted to know about the magnificent girl in our driveway.  I said something I thought was funny, but upon reflection was not such a good idea (esp since she carried a Sig P220 for a living). 

[Rams]

Excellent story to read..

Nothing nearly as funny to tell.

Hit a Meadow Lark on Highway 54 in KS once while riding my KZ1000.   Wasn't wearing a helmet and doing somewhere over triple digits.   Hit me square in the forehead.   Almost took my head off.
Hurt like hell, I now wear a helmet when I ride.

Other than that, my new neighbor is very nice looking, she is a farm  girl and a certified welder. Thinking this could be the start of a wonderful relationship.    Did I mention she's also one fine looking lady.   Sure hope the hubby has a sense of humor.  

[Oldfishguy]

So, as I await delivery of a green and silver blown supervalk to replace my venerable (but totaled) black IS, I was reminiscing about the good old days...

I was riding home from North Carolina, taking the looooong way around through Pungo Virginia, when I approached a goose, a big fat Canadian goose, minding its own business by the side of the road.  I was riding pretty conservatively- this was a windy, narrow, two lane road.  I was minding my own business, which at the moment was piloting my Valkyrie around the curves.  My plan was to ride serenely past the goose, since I have no particular enmity or affinity for them, and continue to do so.  Apparently, said goose had other affairs to attend to on the other side of the road, and rather imprudently flapped his wings and attempted to cross the road at low altitude. Big, fat, Canadian geese do not gain altitude well, it seems.  

The sound of the goose splattering through my forks, wrapping around the side of the bike and covering me and the motorcycle with...well, Goose was pretty disturbing.  I pulled over, surveyed the damage determined it to be minimal, and after scraping the worst of it off my jeans, I continued home. A lot of the goose fewathers, goose meat, goose bones, goose...whatever sloughed off the Valk on the rest of the way home.  Some of it sorta cooked.  The blood dried on my jeans.  

I stopped to pick up an order of chicken wings on the way home.  There's this place...they do a good 15 piece for like 7 bucks, extra sauce.   I called the wife to tell her about my day while I waited.  

I went inside, washed up, changed my jeans, and went back out to the Valk.  Retrieved my supper from
the trunk.  Sat on a chair in the garage, and ate  almost all of the chicken wings, and then swiveled around to face the Valk.  Started pulling goose bits off the Valk, and was digging some roadside fois gras out from between the intake pipes when my wife poked her head out into the garage.  

She took in the sight of my befeathered Valk, the barbecue sauce on my lips, and the styrofoam container where I had been dropping the chicken wing bones and goose bits.  Somehow, 2+2+2=17, and she thought I was nibbling on the goose cooked on the F6 engine.  Her reaction was priceless.  

That was last November...one of the more memorable rides I had on the late, Great, 99 Interstate.  

Here's to the next one- coming Monday.  

Now the 2nd perfectly posed piece; Dude, you can write!  Nice story.  I'm looking forward to what you come up with next.

David

[Crackerborn]

I had the Meadowlark sushi on US441 north of Alachua at something well over the posted 55MPH. I was sure the little buzzard broke my leg where it committed suicide just above the top of my boot. Skunk are always entertaining to play with in the middle of the street. The last one I flattened did not get me, but the fellow behind received the full load. Jeff still won't ride behind me, even ten years later. Another large fowl that has done damage to my two wheeled conveyance is the Wild Turkey. One took out the fairing on one of the Road Glides I once owned. Who says loud pipes scare critters away? Never tried goose on the bike, but they have broken more than one windshield on several trucks I have owned. I hate raccoons, possums and rabbits almost as much as the forest rats and try to obey the posted bag limit on the aforementioned vermin.  The craziest thing I ever hit (or it hit me) was a Santa Gurtrudis cow on SR60 between Yeehaw Junction and Tampa. She totaled a Honda CB450 and had to be put down since she was a habitual fence jumper and after causing an accident on a state highway was now considered a problem. The trooper wrote up the accident, shot the cow, called the cows owner (via dispatch) and left me stranded 15 miles from the closest pay phone (remember those) with a totaled bike.

[baldo]

Now the 2nd perfectly posed piece; Dude, you can write!  Nice story.  I'm looking forward to what you come up with next.

David

You beat me to it, David...I just read this story to my wife, she got a big kick out of it.....

[Valk_Ridin_Soldier]

I had the Meadowlark sushi on US441 north of Alachua at something well over the posted 55MPH. I was sure the little buzzard broke my leg where it committed suicide just above the top of my boot. Skunk are always entertaining to play with in the middle of the street. The last one I flattened did not get me, but the fellow behind received the full load. Jeff still won't ride behind me, even ten years later. Another large fowl that has done damage to my two wheeled conveyance is the Wild Turkey. One took out the fairing on one of the Road Glides I once owned. Who says loud pipes scare critters away? Never tried goose on the bike, but they have broken more than one windshield on several trucks I have owned. I hate raccoons, possums and rabbits almost as much as the forest rats and try to obey the posted bag limit on the aforementioned vermin.  The craziest thing I ever hit (or it hit me) was a Santa Gurtrudis cow on SR60 between Yeehaw Junction and Tampa. She totaled a Honda CB450 and had to be put down since she was a habitual fence jumper and after causing an accident on a state highway was now considered a problem. The trooper wrote up the accident, shot the cow, called the cows owner (via dispatch) and left me stranded 15 miles from the closest pay phone (remember those) with a totaled bike.

Holey Moley!  You are a one man critter wrecking crew!

[Valk_Ridin_Soldier]

My previously posted drivel...

Now the 2nd perfectly posed piece; Dude, you can write!  Nice story.  I'm looking forward to what you come up with next.

David

Nothing compared to Daniel Meyer's adventure with a squirrel, though. 

[Crackerborn]

Holey Moley!  You are a one man critter wrecking crew!

Not really trying but in over forty-five years of riding you tend to collect a few trophies. Fortunately for me, I have escaped meeting any Texas squirrels so far. Hard backed beetles off the noggin have come closer to killing me than any furry creature I have so far encountered. And the joy of Love-bug season in central Fl is a delight any who like clean bikes should participate in at least once.