That "talk" I needed to have.

[BF]

Well....I had that talk with the wife and the doc today.  It went waaaay better than I'd hoped.

The wife was very understanding.  Surprisingly so.  Not what I was expecting.....at all.  She said that when the time comes that it's my decision and she understands....whether it's next week, next month or several years from now.

Doc says that if I want, maybe I can take a break from the chemo on a trial basis this coming summer to let my body recover a bit.  And also to see if and how it might recover.. After all...I've been on chemo for 2 years now...and its taken its toll.  Says it's all up to me (and the next pet scan) to see where I'm at and how I feel physically about it all and how my tumors are doing and their possibility of taking off like wildfire.

We'll weigh my options later in a few months to see how I'm doing and how I feel about things then. 

Don't know if I'll take that break then or not, but at least as of now, it's an option.

I'm nowhere near ready to throw in the towel yet, but I feel a lot better getting it off of my chest now with the wife and the doc..  You guys have helped tons in that regard.  Thanks for being here....seriously.   

[Chrisj CMA]

That's great news Bruce. And like someone said, if the day comes you feel strong enough to ride I'll bring the gal over no problem

[BF]

Thanks Jeff. 

Doubt that'll ever happen at this point though.  At today's weigh in at the doc's  I was down a few more pounds.  At 166 today.  Doc got on to me a bit and said I've got to eat more.  Sometimes that's hard to do.

I'm just relieved that it's gone to where it went and in good hands.

[98valk]

that's good u just released a lot of stress.

some good additional reading on some latest research.
God Bless you.
https://www.scribd.com/document/79632611/Cancer-is-Not-a-Disease-It-s-a-Survival-Mechanism
http://preventdisease.com/home/tips85.shtml
Cancers and all other tissues in the body are larded with cancer-killing white cells, such as T-cells. In the case of kidney cancer and melanomas, for example, white cells make up 50 per cent of the mass of the cancers. Since these T-cells easily recognize foreign or mutated cell tissue such as cancer cells, we would expect these immune cells to attack cancer cells right away. However, the immune system allows cancer cells to recruit it to actually increase and spread the cancer to other parts of the body. Cancer cells produce specific proteins that tell the immune cells to leave them alone and help them to grow

Why would the immune system want to collaborate with cancer cells to make more or larger tumors? Because cancer is a survival mechanism, not a disease. The body uses the cancer to keep deadly carcinogenic substances and caustic metabolic waste matter away from the lymph and blood and, therefore, from the heart, brain and other vital organs. Killing off cancer cells would in fact jeopardize its survival. Cleansing the body of accumulated toxins and waste products through the various cleansing methods removes the need for cancer.

Cancer is not a disease; it is the final and most desperate survival mechanism the body has at its disposal. It only takes control of the body when all other measures of self-preservation have failed. To truly heal cancer and what it represents in a person's life we must come to the understanding that the reason the body allows some of its cells to grow in abnormal ways is in its best interest and not an indication that it is about to destroy itself. Cancer is a healing attempt by the body for the body. Blocking this healing attempt can destroy the body. Supporting the body in its healing efforts can save it.

[f6gal]

Well....I had that talk with the wife and the doc today.  It went waaaay better than I'd hoped.

The wife was very understanding.  Surprisingly so.  Not what I was expecting.....at all.  She said that when the time comes that it's my decision and she understands....whether it's next week, next month or several years from now.

I had a feeling that's the way it would go... of course, I would never say I told you so.  LOL.

[TJ]

Glad everything went easy with the talk...  Prayers still coming for you and family....

[BF]

Well....I had that talk with the wife and the doc today.  It went waaaay better than I'd hoped.

The wife was very understanding.  Surprisingly so.  Not what I was expecting.....at all.  She said that when the time comes that it's my decision and she understands....whether it's next week, next month or several years from now.

I had a feeling that's the way it would go... of course, I would never say I told you so.  LOL.

 

[Mobile Mayor]

Hanging around the fringes, monitoring the thread.  All I've got to say is congratulations, you have many who love you. Best wishes.
'

[SpidyJ]

Many of us can only dream of being as strong as you BF.  You inspire me greatly.
Peace Always,
johnny webb

[..]

 

[3fan4life]

I'm glad that you had the "Talk" and I'm glad that it went well.

Will continue Prayers for Peace, Comfort and Healing.

[Patrick]

Thanks Jeff. 

Doubt that'll ever happen at this point though.  At today's weigh in at the doc's  I was down a few more pounds.  At 166 today.  Doc got on to me a bit and said I've got to eat more.  Sometimes that's hard to do.

I'm just relieved that it's gone to where it went and in good hands.

I understand about the eating issue. With me the throat damage, lack of saliva and destroyed taste buds won't let me eat very well. So I understand the weight loss and lack of strength.  [ 240 to 160]
Everyone bitches at you about it, but, no one understands unless they go through it.

[RainMaker]

 Women are Smarter than we are. This just proves it again.

[Misfit]

  Good luck to you in the near future. I hope you can find some relief. 

[Karen]

Grateful you have gained some peace, and that everyone is on board the train. Prayers continue, a day at a time. 

[da prez]

Bruce , as I said before  , do what makes you and your family feel is right.

                               da prez

[Pappy!]

Good deal, BF!
I hope everything in the treatment process goes your way as well. You certainly deserve it.

[bassman]

Good deal ! 

[Daniel Meyer]

Glad that went well. That'll make a mind-bendingly tough situation better for yourself and for her.

Those female critters...are pretty cool...especially when they love us.

Hoping for the best for you and yours!

[Daniel Meyer]

...also on the weight thing...have you tried the weight gain/protein kind of nutritional shakes? Might be good to get the calories and nutrition in you when you're not up to eating much. Have had a couple friends this worked well for...

[Valkorado]

Glad it went better than expected.  At least now you can feel like you have more control of your options, and you're not a guinea pig.  Continuing prayers...

[old2soon]

Sometimes hell most of the time we male type critter varmits WAY underestimate the Females.  Happy fer ya Bruce.  Try NOT to rush ANY decision. Still PRAYING for ya Brother.

[BF]

I understand about the eating issue. With me the throat damage, lack of saliva and destroyed taste buds won't let me eat very well. So I understand the weight loss and lack of strength.  [ 240 to 160]
Everyone bitches at you about it, but, no one understands unless they go through it.

Ditto Patrick.   

Constant dry mouth, no spit...I'm either constantly having to have something to sip on or have a Tootsie Pop in my mouth to keep it from being as dry as a desert. 

Taste buds are totally screwed.  Even bottled PLAIN WATER tastes salty and metallic.  I used to drink several bottles of water every day....but now it tastes horrible to me.  And it's not just water but everything.  I'm hyper sensitive to salts and seasonings.  I have to look for just plain things to eat.  I used to live on Tabasco Sauce and other hot sauces and seasonings....not anymore.   

I'm NEVER hungry.  I eat because the clock on the wall says it's time to eat something...NOT because I'm hungry.  I have to look for things to eat that I can tolerate, not what I'm hungry for.  It's really a royal pain to have to find things that I can eat. 

And then there's the quantity.  I eat like a bird anymore.  It doesn't take very much for me to get stuffed...I can only eat but just so much.   

At my heaviest, I was VERY close to 280 once.  As of yesterday I'm at 166.  Along with all of that weight went ALL of my muscle.  Having cancer sucks.

...also on the weight thing...have you tried the weight gain/protein kind of nutritional shakes? Might be good to get the calories and nutrition in you when you're not up to eating much. Have had a couple friends this worked well for...

Yep Daniel.  I drink 2 of them every day.  I can't tell that they're doing anything. 

[3fan4life]

I'm really sorry that you're going through all of this.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing and forcing in food even if you don't feel like eating.

My brother lost his appetite years before he passed.

I would fuss at him about it, even before he got sick.

Once his disease became apparent his body was too weak to defend itself.

He was extremely stubborn and I just couldn't convince him that his body needed the nutrtion that he was denying it.

Our bodies need the nutrition to fight the illness.

For those without an appetite it becomes a double edged sword.


Like I said, I'm glad that you're doing the right thing.

Keep it up! 

[Patrick]

I understand about the eating issue. With me the throat damage, lack of saliva and destroyed taste buds won't let me eat very well. So I understand the weight loss and lack of strength.  [ 240 to 160]
Everyone bitches at you about it, but, no one understands unless they go through it.

Ditto Patrick.   

Constant dry mouth, no spit...I'm either constantly having to have something to sip on or have a Tootsie Pop in my mouth to keep it from being as dry as a desert. 

Taste buds are totally screwed.  Even bottled PLAIN WATER tastes salty and metallic.  I used to drink several bottles of water every day....but now it tastes horrible to me.  And it's not just water but everything.  I'm hyper sensitive to salts and seasonings.  I have to look for just plain things to eat.  I used to live on Tabasco Sauce and other hot sauces and seasonings....not anymore.   

I'm NEVER hungry.  I eat because the clock on the wall says it's time to eat something...NOT because I'm hungry.  I have to look for things to eat that I can tolerate, not what I'm hungry for.  It's really a royal pain to have to find things that I can eat. 

And then there's the quantity.  I eat like a bird anymore.  It doesn't take very much for me to get stuffed...I can only eat but just so much.   

At my heaviest, I was VERY close to 280 once.  As of yesterday I'm at 166.  Along with all of that weight went ALL of my muscle.  Having cancer sucks.

...also on the weight thing...have you tried the weight gain/protein kind of nutritional shakes? Might be good to get the calories and nutrition in you when you're not up to eating much. Have had a couple friends this worked well for...

Yep Daniel.  I drink 2 of them every day.  I can't tell that they're doing anything. 

Yep, its too bad. I understand. Same thing with me. But, I am hungry. Food is so hard to get down  and it does taste terrible and just plain wears me out and pisses me off. For a long time because it tasted so bad it just wouldn't go down, then if I got it down it wouldn't stay there. It'll stay down now, but, it takes so long to eat I just quit.  I was told it would have a metallic taste, but, that only happened for a short period. I'd rather have the metallic taste back, this is worse. Try other foods, at least thats what they tell me. I used to like hot sauce and pepper too, not now, it sets me on fire. I can sorta taste some sweet things. I can still eat onions, not catsup/ketchup anymore, but, can eat the heck out of mustard which I've never really cared for. So finding new foods is a real adventure.
I should have mentioned the nutrition drinks too. I try not to use them anymore, but, still do. I make shakes with them. A Boost or Ensure, banana or 2, ice cream, fruit,etc. and give it a spin.
Your right about the weight loss, its so fast the muscle goes. I couldn't hold the Valk up this summer so I didn't ride it. I'll try it when we get back north in May though.

[cookiedough]

my dad went thru the weight loss as well and he liked the protein shakes as well since his muscle mass also went way down.  Now, my mom about same age as when dad died age 76 is going thru same thing but with altzheimers.  She use to be VERY heavy set in her 40's guessing 230 and is pretty much down to around 150lbs. walks likes she is 90 and stiff and does not eat like she use to.  I think altzheimers at the end does not allow you to chew and eat much at all unable to swallow even.  She is not there yet but getting there that has been evident the past 6 months or so.

SUCKS getting old but take it day by day and do your best, that is all we can do.

Am glad the talk went well.  You would be surprised what your spouse (and dr.) will do and understand completely,  just in the future be open and honest with them.  They will understand am sure. 

[BF]

my dad went thru the weight loss as well and he liked the protein shakes as well since his muscle mass also went way down.  Now, my mom about same age as when dad died age 76 is going thru same thing but with altzheimers.  She use to be VERY heavy set in her 40's guessing 230 and is pretty much down to around 150lbs. walks likes she is 90 and stiff and does not eat like she use to.  I think altzheimers at the end does not allow you to chew and eat much at all unable to swallow even.  She is not there yet but getting there that has been evident the past 6 months or so.

SUCKS getting old but take it day by day and do your best, that is all we can do.

Am glad the talk went well.  You would be surprised what your spouse (and dr.) will do and understand completely,  just in the future be open and honest with them.  They will understand am sure. 

Sorry about your mom cookiedough.

[cookiedough]

my dad went thru the weight loss as well and he liked the protein shakes as well since his muscle mass also went way down.  Now, my mom about same age as when dad died age 76 is going thru same thing but with altzheimers.  She use to be VERY heavy set in her 40's guessing 230 and is pretty much down to around 150lbs. walks likes she is 90 and stiff and does not eat like she use to.  I think altzheimers at the end does not allow you to chew and eat much at all unable to swallow even.  She is not there yet but getting there that has been evident the past 6 months or so.

SUCKS getting old but take it day by day and do your best, that is all we can do.

Am glad the talk went well.  You would be surprised what your spouse (and dr.) will do and understand completely,  just in the future be open and honest with them.  They will understand am sure.  

Sorry about your mom cookiedough.

thanks BF,  I am aging as I type getting more and more gray hairs more recently and sort of loosing it at times.  I guess keep cutting my hair short so as to not show all the gray hairs right??  

Am pretty sure the day will come when mom will be forced out of her home since her body health wise (except stiffness/walking very slowly) is in good shape, mind not much anymore..    

Not sure which is worse:  Having the mind go but not the body or vice versa??   

[BF]

my dad went thru the weight loss as well and he liked the protein shakes as well since his muscle mass also went way down.  Now, my mom about same age as when dad died age 76 is going thru same thing but with altzheimers.  She use to be VERY heavy set in her 40's guessing 230 and is pretty much down to around 150lbs. walks likes she is 90 and stiff and does not eat like she use to.  I think altzheimers at the end does not allow you to chew and eat much at all unable to swallow even.  She is not there yet but getting there that has been evident the past 6 months or so.

SUCKS getting old but take it day by day and do your best, that is all we can do.

Am glad the talk went well.  You would be surprised what your spouse (and dr.) will do and understand completely,  just in the future be open and honest with them.  They will understand am sure.  

Sorry about your mom cookiedough.

thanks BF,  I am aging as I type getting more and more gray hairs more recently and sort of loosing it at times.  I guess keep cutting my hair short so as to not show all the gray hairs right??  

Am pretty sure the day will come when mom will be forced out of her home since her body health wise (except stiffness/walking very slowly) is in good shape, mind not much anymore..    

Not sure which is worse:  Having the mind go but not the body or vice versa??   

I think that I'd prefer to be spoon feed and still be able to walk around the block vs being in a chair and still know what's going on.