John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
 |
« on: August 16, 2017, 08:43:58 AM » |
|
My wife's little 7 yr. old granddaughter is sometimes sharper than her mother, especially when it comes to catching on when I tell a joke. As stated, we're eating some cherries and my Rita is having difficulty with the pits and almost swallowed one. That's when I told her about the fat lady that swallowed one accidentally. Rita innocently asked what happened(by now you'd think she'd know better  ), so I told her how the next day she bent over to feed the cat and killed the canary. Rita and her daughter just sat and gave me that "deer in the headlights" look....they didn't get it. Meanwhile, little Aubree is about to fall out of her chair she's giggling so hard....as is her older sister. Rita and daughter are still looking at the girls and me.....then at each other, both shaking their heads and "we don't get it." You had to be there!  The girls told their mother later just what I meant, then she is rolling on the bed laughing with them. The girls are laughing at their mother....not with her. I had to kid her about it, said I couldn't tell her a joke on Friday because she'd bust out laughing in church on Sunday. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
baldo
Member
Posts: 6961
Youbetcha
Cape Cod, MA
|
|
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2017, 10:07:39 AM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Gryphon Rider
Member
Posts: 5232
2000 Tourer
Calgary, Alberta
|
|
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2017, 10:42:41 AM » |
|
I had to kid her about it, said I couldn't tell her a joke on Friday because she'd bust out laughing in church on Sunday. At least when she's at church, the canaries at home are safe. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Hacked Valk
|
|
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2017, 01:40:46 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The problem with humanity is: we have paleolithic emotions; medieval institutions; and God-like technology.
|
|
|
baldo
Member
Posts: 6961
Youbetcha
Cape Cod, MA
|
|
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2017, 03:51:01 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? Lol...she didn't have to be fat. Just a good aim. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
ridingron
|
|
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2017, 04:57:26 PM » |
|
Sounds like my ex. As I told her numerous times, if I have to explain the joke you won't thinks it's funny. The Far Side was the cartoon she seldom "got".
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: August 16, 2017, 05:00:25 PM by ridingron »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2017, 05:08:59 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? So you don't "get" sophomoric humor? As explained, being fat had nothing to do with it. When she bent over to.....oh never mind. Ridingron has it right, if it has to be explained......  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Robert
|
|
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2017, 05:22:30 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
|
|
|
|
Hook#3287
|
|
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2017, 05:29:14 PM » |
|
Good joke and better story  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
|
|
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2017, 05:44:36 PM » |
|
. Kids are pretty quick with that stuff.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
The emperor has no clothes
|
|
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2017, 06:00:48 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? Lol...she didn't have to be fat. Just a good aim. Oh contrare ! Everybody knows chubby girls are better shots than skinny girls. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
|
|
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2017, 06:12:37 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? Lol...she didn't have to be fat. Just a good aim. Oh contrare ! Everybody knows chubby girls are better shots than skinny girls. Skinny girls have more velocity though. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
The emperor has no clothes
|
|
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2017, 06:16:01 PM » |
|
LOLOLOL......
My favorite part is the last sentence....
last sentence is amusing but I don't get the "joke" either. What did the lady being fat have to do with it? Lol...she didn't have to be fat. Just a good aim. Oh contrare ! Everybody knows chubby girls are better shots than skinny girls. Skinny girls have more velocity though. maybe. But chubby girls have more ft/lbs. "there is no replacement for displacement"  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2017, 07:23:43 PM » |
|
SNIP: "there is no replacement for displacement" ================================================ Wow, you cleaned that one up real good. I heard it a bit different, not for mixed company but same message. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Hacked Valk
|
|
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2017, 08:48:31 PM » |
|
Well, either I didn't post what I had written or my post was deleted. Did I say an anotomically forbidden word? In any event, the gist was that, assuming the canary was in a cage on some kind of elevated stand I propose the story to be impossible. A fat lady simply could not bend over far enough to develop the trajectory required to achieve the necessary elevation.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: August 16, 2017, 08:52:00 PM by Hacked Valk »
|
Logged
|
The problem with humanity is: we have paleolithic emotions; medieval institutions; and God-like technology.
|
|
|
|
The emperor has no clothes
|
|
« Reply #15 on: August 17, 2017, 05:15:10 AM » |
|
Well, either I didn't post what I had written or my post was deleted. Did I say an anotomically forbidden word? In any event, the gist was that, assuming the canary was in a cage on some kind of elevated stand I propose the story to be impossible. A fat lady simply could not bend over far enough to develop the trajectory required to achieve the necessary elevation.
Never underestimate the ability of a fat woman. Especially when she is locked and loaded. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
baldo
Member
Posts: 6961
Youbetcha
Cape Cod, MA
|
|
« Reply #16 on: August 17, 2017, 05:17:49 AM » |
|
Well, either I didn't post what I had written or my post was deleted. Did I say an anotomically forbidden word? In any event, the gist was that, assuming the canary was in a cage on some kind of elevated stand I propose the story to be impossible. A fat lady simply could not bend over far enough to develop the trajectory required to achieve the necessary elevation.
Never underestimate the ability of a fat woman. Especially when she is locked and loaded. I think it wise if we curtail the fat lady jokes......they could come back to bite us in the end.... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
The emperor has no clothes
|
|
« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2017, 05:20:19 AM » |
|
Well, either I didn't post what I had written or my post was deleted. Did I say an anotomically forbidden word? In any event, the gist was that, assuming the canary was in a cage on some kind of elevated stand I propose the story to be impossible. A fat lady simply could not bend over far enough to develop the trajectory required to achieve the necessary elevation.
Never underestimate the ability of a fat woman. Especially when she is locked and loaded. I think it wise if we curtail the fat lady jokes......they could come back to bite us in the end.... You would never forward this to Brenda would you ?  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Farside
Member
Posts: 2592
Let's get going!
S. GA - N. FL
|
|
« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2017, 05:34:04 AM » |
|
It shall pass! Funny story..... 
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Farside
|
|
|
|
Karen
|
|
« Reply #19 on: August 17, 2017, 07:51:05 AM » |
|
Keep 'em coming, boys, we can take it. Loved the joke, John, and the story. And for you doubters, any trajectory is possible. How low can I go? Pucker up and find out...  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
baldo
Member
Posts: 6961
Youbetcha
Cape Cod, MA
|
|
« Reply #20 on: August 17, 2017, 08:02:06 AM » |
|
Keep 'em coming, boys, we can take it. Loved the joke, John, and the story. And for you doubters, any trajectory is possible. How low can I go? Pucker up and find out... gulp.....  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gryphon Rider
Member
Posts: 5232
2000 Tourer
Calgary, Alberta
|
|
« Reply #22 on: August 17, 2017, 08:45:41 AM » |
|
Keep 'em coming, boys, we can take it. Loved the joke, John, and the story. And for you doubters, any trajectory is possible. How low can I go? Pucker up and find out... I think that's the first time on this board where there has been this kind of invitation, from a woman anyway.  The times they are a-changin'. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
old2soon
|
|
« Reply #23 on: August 17, 2017, 10:37:27 AM » |
|
If you've met Karen you just KNOW she are shy and retiring-like me! RIDE SAFE. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #24 on: August 17, 2017, 11:13:05 AM » |
|
If you've met Karen you just KNOW she are shy and retiring-like me! RIDE SAFE. Choke....hot coffee burns when you spew it out of your nose. I've met you both, however Karen probably doesn't remember it. I was laying on the ground at one of our InZanes, cleaning the bike, might have been in Johnson City. Had something to do with "laying down on the job" or similar. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
