Marriage! :)

[John Schmidt]

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally spoke.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.  And you probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley-Davidson.

Tom got a horrified look on his face. 
 
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?" 

He replied, "There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Tom replied: "I wasn't."

[da prez]

Part of the reason there is an ex in the past.


                                  da prez 

[Jess from VA]

 

[Wizzard]

 

[Savago]

Brilliant!
 

[Serk]

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.
As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on."
She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can’t wear your pants," she said.
"That’s right!" said the husband, "and don’t you forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
He said, "Hell, I can’t get into your panties!"
She said, "That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude…"