Running Errands

[RonBou]

 
McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.

When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

“Excuse me,” said another bar patron, who was puzzled over what McPherson had done. “What was that all about?”

“Nothing,” said the Irishman, “my wife sent me out for a jar of olives.”
 

[Jess from VA]

A Scotsman had spent the day down at the pub drinking pints of good stout.  Mid afternoon, he wandered toward home, but got sleepy and lay down under a tree for a wee nap.  Two girls wandered by, and started giggling about the old question of what a man wore under his plaid kilt.  They peeked, and he wore nothing.  One became bold and pulled a blue ribbon from her braid, and tied it in a bow around his tally-whacker.  And then they ran off. 

Sometime later, the man woke and stretched, and stepped around the tree to take a leak.  He looked at the blue ribbon in wonder and exclaimed..... Lad, I don't know where you've been, but you've gone and won first prize. 

[RonBou]

Lad, I don't know where you've been, but you've gone and won first prize. 

     That's what I would have thought also.