So I did some reminiscing. Below is a short paper I wrote for an assignment while taking some extra courses at UCF. I must have been about 55 yrs. old at the time. With her birth, she saved her mother's life because at her followup following the birth, the dr. found something suspicious. Within a couple weeks she had to have hysterectomy surgery for cancer. Now, with the loss of her older sister, you might say she's saving my life. There's so many things about her that are much like her sister; her expressions, her greeting to me, her voice....even her walk. In the picture attached, the little one referred to at the end in the short paper is the older blonde gal on the right in the picture. She's now 27, calls me pops and gives good hugs to "grandpa." Problem....they live nearly 1500 miles away. The son is 20, and the youngest gal, Payton, is 11. I had hoped to just "drop in" unannounced during her b'day party this Saturday, but sadly there wasn't anyone available to cover for me for 4-5 days while I flew to Green Bay. I recall when she was born, I was feeling rather down because I wanted a son. But, when she reached the ripe old age of 30 minutes, I was holding her in my arms, touching her tiny hands with my little finger. She instinctively took hold of my finger with her tiny hand, opened her still unseeing eyes for a couple seconds and looked directly at where my voice was coming from, then closed her eyes, grunted and fell asleep. I was hooked!
Thanks for letting me reminisce a bit.
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Suddenly, you feel old. The oldest daughter, young as she is, has a somewhat self-conscious admirer. You are just past thirty years of age, and your three girls are no longer pulling noisy toys along behind them. You no longer have to put your belongings up high so they won't ruin them in play. You have always wanted a boy. Then, seven years after the last diaper was changed, you feel the need for a change.
On September 5, 1968, you are more than a little disappointed at first. However, the disappointment is short lived because of the change not only in your life, but the lives of everyone in the family. The "old" feeling is gone and has been replaced by a lightbulb.
A lightbulb she truly is. Since birth, she has always awakened with a smile. When left alone in the quiet of her room, she would play herself to sleep. Always content, never does she fuss unless ill or hungry. If the family is together and she is alone in her room, it isn't long before the calling starts, followed by moments of silence. This is her way of saying "I want to get in on it," whatever "it" may be. When just a few months old, she knew the different personalities of the family and how to get a reaction. In everything she does, it is with a sly little smile. She wears that smile from early in the morning until late at night. When sleep comes, it is with the essence of the character Linus in the Peanuts cartoons. The ever present blanket and the thumb are her trademark. When morning comes and the family begins to move, on comes the lightbulb. Suddenly, you don't feel old anymore. You don't have time to regret not having a boy. Your lightbulb has so changed your life that the thought of a boy doesn't enter your mind.
Suddenly, you are young again. You don't recall the other girls being as active, and not nearly so strong when they were babies. You notice things are coming up missing more often. The older girls are learning fast that their sisters are not the guilty party every time. They, too, are starting to put things up high and out of reach. The family meals are no longer the same. The focus is no longer on the day's events, but on the little lightbulb in our midst. This addition to our family and changes it has wrought has taken ten years off our lives.
This can't be. A quarter century has flown by. You are now closer to age sixty than fifty, and, though you didn't plan it this way, after nearly thirty one years of marriage you are also alone. To make bad matters worse, after nearly twenty years you find yourself bored stiff in a thankless job rife with bureaucracy. Social Security says you are too young to retire, and Corporate America says you are too old to start over. Your four girls have married and are scattered to the four corners of the continent. The oldest and her husband teach school in Louisiana, number two and her husband live in Illinois and are professionally employed, number three and her husband live in St. Louis and are deeply involved in their own business success. The youngest is married to a Navy man and is stationed in the Aleutian Islands off Alaska. You would love to see your grandchildren more often, but, depending on who you want to visit, it takes from four to ten days roundtrip travel time alone. You miss your growing family and at times reminisce within yourself, thinking back to when you were younger and times were happier. Why can't they live a little closer so you can watch the next generation develop? Life is really becoming a drag. Suddenly, you feel very, very tired. You feel old.
You thought the answering machine was on, but the phone is about to ring off the wall. Someone sure is persistent. Then the familiar "hi dad" all the way from Alaska, followed by a familiar breathless string. This time it's "we'll be home in a few days because I can't stand the isolated location and I can't stand the weather and I can't stand the Navy and I can't...... and can we stay with you for awhile?" You agree, "for awhile." Then, there she is, with a granddaughter you barely met when she was a babe in arms. Cute, but rather quiet.
Weeks go by and you realize "cute" was appropriate but "rather quiet" was premature. When you exercise, you have company. When working on the car or your motorcycle, you have "help." Half the time is spent looking for your tools instead of fixing. If momma is disciplining, oh the pain, oh the anguish, oh the begging for some TLC from you. Two minutes later, it's off on another adventure. You no longer have to eat alone. No longer do you find everything just where you left it. The phone never stops ringing and you stopped answering long ago. You find yourself hurrying home after work just to see that little bundle of energy, and are disappointed if she and her mother are out. Saturday mornings when you like to sleep in, you are often awakened by this giggly little body crawling on the bed and wondering why she hasn't been fed yet. Then, with the proper amount of feigning sleep, you grab her and the roughhouse begins. Once again, the house is filled with laughter and squeals of delight. It is much brighter now because you have two lightbulbs. That lightbulb of years past now has a lightbulb of her own.
Oh, it's great to be young isn't it?
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