The Confession

[RonBou]

 
A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.”

The priest is silent for a moment, and then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”

“And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.

“No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”

[Jess from VA]

A young girl goes to confession and says she let her boyfriend touch her chest.  The priest assigns five Hail Marys and five Our Fathers and tells her to go out to the holy water and touch some to her chest.

The next girl comes in and says she touched her boyfriend's private parts.  This time, it's 20 Hail Marys and Our Fathers and put your hand in the holy water.

While these two gals are standing at the holy water, a third hussy elbows her way in and says, look out girls, I have to gargle with that stuff.

(I don't make them up, I just report them)