Pissed Off.... !!!

[ybnorml]

Guy walks into a bar, sits down on the corner stool, lays a few hundred dollars on the bar and proceeds to down drink after drink. He spends a few hours drinking up a storm and chatting n talking w/ everyone and after a while, he's blasted.

Finally, he stumbles up to the bartender, puts his arm around him, and says "I'll bet ya TWO undred dollas, I can piss in this shotglass, from down this end of the bar to the other, AND not spill a drop....notta drop."

Bartender looks at him and says "$200?!!??....Not a drop????...From one end of the bar to the other????......DONE!" and slaps his cash on the bar. He figures he has this guy beat as he can barely stand, much less piss straight.

The whole bar quiets down to see this happen. The drunk gets up on the bar, drops his pants, whips his wood out, and proceeds to piss ALL OVER THE PLACE. On the bar. Behind the bar. On the floor. ALL over. NEVER even gets NEAR the shotglass at the other end. The entire time the bartender is smiling and counting his winnings. EZ money.

When the guy is done, he climbs back off the bar. The bartender goes up to him and asks him..."You're blasted, you know it and I know it. You can barely stand. Why on earth would you make a bet like that???"

Guy looks up at him and says..."See that guy down there with the sad puss on. I bet HIM $ 500 I could piss ALL over your bar, and not only would you NOT stop me, but you'd smile the entire time I was pissing!"...and with that he collected HIS winnings and walked out

[DanL]

A union boss walks into a bar from the factory next door, and is about to order a beer when he sees a guy at the far end of the bar wearing a "TRUMP, Make America Great Again" cap with a mug of beer sitting in front of him.
 
The union boss doesn't need to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican, so he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender.... but not for the 'Republican'.
 
Soon after the drinks have been passed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice.
 
This infuriates the 'Union Boss'.
 
After a few minutes, the union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican.
 
As before, this doesn't seem to bother the Republican. He nods and smiles, and again yells, "Thank you!"
 
A few more minutes pass and the union boss orders another round of drinks for everyone except the Republican.
 
Frustrated that he can't seem to get the guy angered, the union boss asks the bartender, "What is wrong with that Republican?  I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the dummy does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts...?"
 
"Nope," replies the bartender, "He owns the place."