Chet Walters' graphic explaining the relay's pin use:

Correct on your pins. Use of 85 & 86 are interchangeable. 30 is also called 51 on some relays. It also doesn't matter which way the current goes through the relay, between 30 & 87 - they are also interchangeable. In your case 87a is unassigned.
What I said above applies if you are wiring spots - though your connection to 30 should come from the battery via a fuse - not from a switch. The blu-wh wire is used as a trigger and will trigger the relay when ignition is on and the start button is NOT pressed - then it goes off. This will reduce the load on your starter switch.
HOWEVER - if you are wiring a headlight with hi-lo beams - you need a relay for each side of the headlight - one for the high beam and one for the low. Then you cut the low beam wire and connect it to pin 30 on one relay - and reconnect the other side of that same wire to the output of the relay - pin 87. You do the same for the high beam wire. Obviously this is best wired with the relays IN the headlight bucket - and that's where mine are on Jade, Deerslayer and George. I explain this in detail in
http://horseapple.com/Valkyrie/Tech_Tips/Headlight_Upgrade/headlight_upgrade.htmlIf this is an interstate - split each output wire into a Y-yoke and run the 2nd wire over to the other headlight shell. Just disconnect the headlight plug there, make up a plug that uses the 2 wires you are bringing over. You don't need to have another pair of relays for the 2nd H4 bulb. You do need to run a ground for the second light, or just replug the ground wire already there into your new H4 plug. BTW NAPA has ceramic H4 hi-power plugs if you want to increase the wattage some w/o roasting the OEM plastic plug.