New medical test for men and Covid-19

[98valk]

It is a urine test for men:

Go to a tree trunk and take a piss.

If it attracts a lot of ants you have high glucose.
If it dries too fast you have high sodium.
If it smells like meat, you have high cholesterol.
Forgot to open your pants to pee, Alzheimer’s.
Had trouble hitting the tree, Parkinson’s.
If you pee on your feet, prostate.
Couldn’t smell the pee, definitely COVID

[old2soon]

    Well 3 outa 7-oh crap I iz goin the wrong way!  RIDE SAFE.

[Patrick]

Hmm, all but the last. 

[0leman]

May have Covid,  Can't smell the pee.  BUT then loss my sense of smell when I was around 18

Still can hit the tree, not sure about the ants though.  Never waited around long enough to see, not that patient.   

Most of the time I wait till my pants are down to pee, most of the time.   

[carolinarider09]

What if it smells like coffee?

[98valk]

What if it smells like coffee?

high blood pressure,
since caffeine is a mild diuretic, thereby flushing out magnesium and potassium both which are needed to keep blood pressure low and in balance with calcium which increases BP when out of balance.

[Jess from VA]

I recommend taking this test in your (private) backyard.

Doing it in the front yard will draw unwanted attention (and laughter), and good luck with the medical test defense in your prosecution for indecent exposure. 

And do not take this test on your courtroom podium (even though everyone but the Judge will be dying of laughter). 

[Rams]

I recommend taking this test in your (private) backyard.

Doing it in the front yard will draw unwanted attention (and laughter), and good luck with the medical test defense in your prosecution for indecent exposure. 

And do not take this test on your courtroom podium (even though everyone but the Judge will be dying of laughter). 

If, the observers are laughing, there might be another reason.   Will leave it at that. 

Rams

[carolinarider09]

I shall have to test my BP again this week. 

Now that I am on the Beta blocker.

[Willow]

..., and good luck with the medical test defense in your prosecution for indecent exposure. 

Just how large does an exposure need to be to become indecent?   

[Chrisj CMA]

..., and good luck with the medical test defense in your prosecution for indecent exposure. 

Just how large does an exposure need to be to become indecent?   

Well if they can’t see it then it probably isint a violation

[Jess from VA]

This actually is a subject I have spent a lot of time thinking about (over the years).

Men and boys have, since the origin of the species, liked to urinate outside (or rather, wherever it is convenient).  Women and girls do not like to at all, and will only do so when absolutely necessary (essential differences in equipment). 

In modern times, with no (or few) state laws against public urination, the charge was most often indecent exposure.  Which as you know carries a far greater degree of public humiliation and sexual deviant status than is deserved by anyone that just has to GO.  

All sex crimes carry as an element the specific intent to gratify the offender's or victim's sexual appetite (or both).  Something entirely lacking in simple urination in a less than fully private location.

I have urinated outside 10,000 times, not to gratify sexual appetite, but so I don't go in my pants, and because it was convenient.   I'm always careful to not be observed, but sometimes it's a close thing.  

And if caught and charged with indecent exposure, I intended to fully litigate the case if I couldn't plead to a crime of public urination (or get a deal to disorderly conduct or some other minor offense).

Now if you pull your willie out in clear public view, whether to pee or not, that is indecent exposure.

But if the men's room is busy (or closed) and you walk around behind the gas station to pee in as private a place as you can find, that is not indecent exposure.  

[Willow]

...
Now if you pull your willie out in clear public view, whether to pee or not, that is indecent exposure.

LOL!  Not so fast, counselor.     Recently there was a man in Kansas (capital city) that has made a practice of walking around naked in public (willie exposed).  The courts ruled there was no law prohibiting this behavior so long as he did not seem to be doing it for sexual gratification.   

I guess the apparent state of the william makes the difference.          

[Jess from VA]

Wow, I had not heard of that case.

And here I thought Kansas was conservative.

So just how long have you been doing this Carl?  

[scooperhsd]

Well - Topeka is about 55 or so miles from my place, maybe another 5-10 miles from Carl's ?

And Jess - that was really in the vein of  "so how long has it been since you last beat your wife ?"

[Willow]

Wow, I had not heard of that case.

And here I thought Kansas was conservative.

So just how long have you been doing this Carl?  

No.  It wasn't I.  In my case it would likely be embarrassing exposure rather indecent exposure.

Here's a link if you're  really interested in knowing about it.  I believe this is from 2014.  It's about 60 miles from my home but at the time I worked in Topeka.

Naked Man Roams Streets

[Jess from VA]

Well - Topeka is about 55 or so miles from my place, maybe another 5-10 miles from Carl's ?

And Jess - that was really in the vein of  "so how long has it been since you last beat your wife ?"

The actual question is:  So Mr Smith, when did you stop beating your wife.   

But I get your point.

If I was prosecuting Carl for indecent exposure for walking around nude in KS with no erection, I would point out that he had sired eight children, and was therefore a confirmed sex maniac, and he probably lacked an erection on that occasion only because he was overly tired from all his past exertions.  

EDIT: I didn't read the link, but that ruling is perfectly in line with my argument that the sexual offense of indecent exposure is not a proper charge for simple public (or not completely hidden) urination.

Of course, a state legislature would be entirely justified in passing a law against public nudity (with no sex crime component), and many have.  

[Willow]

Apparently Kansas has a law against urinating in a public space but it is gathered with defecating and expectorating.  Tha seems a little harsh for spitting.   

Sec. 54-134. Expectorating, urinating, defecating.

 It shall be unlawful for any person to expectorate, urinate
or defecate on any public street, alley, sidewalk or floor of any
public building, or any other place not intended or designated
for such purpose where the public gathers or has access.

[RP#62]

That's why we need these:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/08/14/amsterdam-installs-urinals-planters-city-centre-tackle-wild/

-RP

[old2soon]

       Having driven big truck-think 18 wheeler with a boudoir-I have Lost track of how many times I've pulled over to recycle an over abundance of caffeine.  AND either luck was with me Or the L E Os had more serious matters to attend too and not me cooling off a tire.  BUT I have also observed some folks from 18 wheelers-I REFUSE to call them Drivers-doing the yellow rain thing within sight of the truck stop building or in the parking area of the rest facility. Too danged lazy to walk a couple more steps I'm guessin here. And have also observed folks that Did Indeed try those couple of extra steps to the indoor facility and did NOT quite make their intended location!  Use yer magination!  RIDE SAFE.

[The emperor has no clothes]

That's why we need these:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/08/14/amsterdam-installs-urinals-planters-city-centre-tackle-wild/

-RP

"The plants in the pots are a mixture of lavender, for scent, summer lilac, to attract butterflies, and the ever-hardy Pennisetum advena, “Rubrum”."

Seems like it would be a lot easier and cheaper to just put out some portapoddies.

[cookiedough]

well at least I am COVID free...

Glad there is not a category like I did today in the powerlifting gym where the pee hits my light gray shorts making a big round spot.......   Bad category right there......   Sure glad I wore my LONGEST t-shirt to cover up the stain pulling it down all the way until dry......

[da prez]

  Indecent , she is happy with the installation. 

                                                 da prez

[0leman]

Grew up around Tusla,   My dad did a lot of surveying for pipeline (Okla Natural Gas CO).  Lot of the areas were devoid of trees and gas stations.   To the rule of the day was 60 yards off the road and either 40 to the left or right  your were covered for taking a leak.   Followed that rule several times over my 70 plus years.