A Tuesday Tickle

[Super Santa]

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
   and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
   and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
   and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
   and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats 
   and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.