You may know that my idol is Yogi Berra warning NO HOOTERS GIRLS

[Oss]

not Yogi Bear although he has had his moments as well

Mom sent me this one, I have no idea what list she is on to get this great stuff but thanks mom
 
here it is enjoy my friends
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Yogi's Speech Ain't Over Til It's Over Your Head....
By Dan O'Neill
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Sunday, May. 27 2007

Deadlines being what they are for this Sunday column, this essayist missed a
momentous occasion recently. Yogi Berra accepted an honorary degree from St.
Louis University and delivered the commencement speech for 1,900 graduates
and 10,000 in attendance at Scottrade Center.

It's hard to imagine a more promising lingual event. Berra is to vocal
communication what Don Cherry is to the fashion industry. Yogi doesn't so
much command the English language as he corkscrews it. It is part of what makes
the baseball Hall of Famer and pride of the Hill one of America's endearing
figures.

While the oratory went unrecognized in this space last week, I was fortunate
enough to secure a copy (wink - wink) of the discourse and felt compelled to
share it with those who did not attend. So here it is, in its entirety,
Yogi's dissertation:

"Thank you all for being here tonight. I know this is a busy time of year,
and if you weren't here, you could probably be somewhere else. I especially want
to thank the administration at St. Louis University for making this day
necessary.
It is an honor to receive this honorary degree.

"It is wonderful to be here in St. Louis and to visit the old neighborhood.
I haven't been back since the last time I was here. Everything looks the same,
only different. Of course, things in the past are never as they used to be.

"Before I speak, I have something I'd like to say. As you may know, I never
went to college, or high school for that matter. To be honest, I'm not much
of a public speaker, so I will try to keep this short as long as I can.

"As I look out upon all of the young people here tonight, there are a number
of words of wisdom I might depart. But I think the most irrelevant piece of
advice I can pass along is this:

"The most important things in life are the things that are least important.

"I could have gone a number of directions in my life. Growing up on the
Hill, I could have opened a restaurant or a bakery. But the more time I spent in
places like that, the less time I wanted to spend there. I knew that if I wanted to
play baseball, I was going to have to play baseball. My childhood friend,
Joe Garagiola, also became a big-league ballpayer, as did my son, Dale. I think
you'll find the similarities in our careers are quite different.

"You're probably wondering, how does a kid from the Hill become a New York
Yankee and get in the Hall of Fame? Well, let me tell you something, if it
was easy nobody would do it. Nothing is impossible until you make it possible.

"Of course, times were different. To be honest, I was born at an early age.
Things are much more confiscated now. It seems like a nickel ain't worth a
dime anymore. But let me tell you, if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be. Even
Napoleon had his Watergate.

"You'll make some wrong mistakes along the way, but only the wrong survive.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can't do today. Denial isn't just a
river in Europe.

"Strive for success and remember you won't get what you want unless you want
what you get. Some will choose a different path. If they don't want to come
along, you can't stop them. Remember, none are so kind as those who will not
see.

"Keep the faith and follow the Commandments: Do not covet thy neighbor's
wife, unless she has nothing else to wear. Treat others before you treat yourself.
As Franklin Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'The only thing you have to fear is
beer itself.'

"Hold on to your integrity, ladies and gentlemen. It's the one thing you
really need to have; if you don't have it, that's why you need it. Work hard to
reach your goals, and if you can't reach them, use a ladder. There may come a day
when you get hurt and have to miss work. Don't worry, it won't hurt to miss
work.

"Over the years, I have realized that baseball is really just a menopause
for life. We all have limitations, but we also know limitation is the greatest
form of flattery. Beauty is in the eyes of Jim Holder.

"Half the lies you hear won't be true, and half the things you say, you
won't ever say.

"As parents you'll want to give your children all the things you didn't
have.
But don't buy them an encyclopedia, make them walk to school like you did.
Teach them to have respect for others, especially the police. They are not
here to create disorder, they are here to preserve it.

"Throughout my career, I found good things always came in pairs of three.
There will be times when you are an overwhelming underdog. Give 100 percent to
everything you do, and when that's not enough, give everything you have
left.
'Winning isn't everything, but it's better than rheumatism.' I think Guy
Lombardo said that.

"Finally, dear graduates and friends, cherish this moment; it is a memory
you will never forget. You have your entire future ahead of you.

"Good luck and Bob's speed."