1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold them while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs.. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to
cough.
5. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
6. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
