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Valkyrie Riders Cruiser Club > General > General Board > Ponderisms
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Author Topic: Ponderisms  (Read 1149 times)
Sludge
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*****
Posts: 793


Toilet Attendant

Roaring River, NC
« on: November 17, 2010, 10:44:53 PM »
Ponderisms

1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3· Life is sexually transmitted.

4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

13·. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14·. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15·. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

20. Ever wonder why you read any posts from Sludge?
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"We have two companies of Marines running rampant all over the northern half of this island, and three Army regiments pinned down in the southwestern corner, doing nothing. What the hell is going on?"
Gen. John W. Vessey, USA, Chairman of the the Joint Chiefs of Staff during the assault on Granada
hubcapsc
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Posts: 16781


upstate

South Carolina
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2010, 06:54:53 AM »
Quote from: Sludge on November 17, 2010, 10:44:53 PM
20. Ever wonder why you read any posts from Sludge?

8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Nah...  cooldude

-Mike
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https://sites.google.com/a/g.clemson.edu/confederate-memorial-day-at-clemson/
Momz
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Posts: 5702


ABATE, AMA, & MRF rep.
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2010, 08:23:02 AM »
I'm probably going to sit here and ponder why I read that post.
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ALWAYS QUESTION AUTHORITY! 

97 Valk bobber, 98 Valk Rat Rod, 2K SuperValk, plus several other classic bikes
Big Rig
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*****
Posts: 2507


Woolwich NJ
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2010, 10:31:02 AM »
I'm offended that it is not offensive nor political or sexiest!   Evil
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CajunRider
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Posts: 1691

Broussard, LA
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2010, 09:03:56 PM »
21.  Why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
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