IT'S A JOKE, OK?

[Skinhead]

    He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the
hospital.
    He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a
personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and
beating his previous best game by more than 10.

    He was jubilant. Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed
to the hospital.

    He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

    The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished
your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!"

    "While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the
country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as
well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more
than likely your last!

    "For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care and
you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will have to
change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be spoon fed
3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."

    The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed...

    The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just f-ing with you. She's dead.
What'd you shoot?"

[ILcruiser]

 

That's so funny, I think I'll forward it to both of my ex-wives 

[bigguy]

I read this joke several months ago on another board. We ought to get these two together.

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day
finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a
beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third
everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile
phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her
husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in
critical condition and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she
was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she
hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to
be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a
couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She
ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her
trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice
complimentary from the last shop She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed
to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and
asked about her Husband's condition. The lady doctor glared
at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your
shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!
While you were out for the past four hours enjoying
yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the
Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and
finished, because it will be more than likely the last
shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he
will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his
full time carer!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The female doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling
your leg. He's dead. What'd you buy?"

[Duckwheat]

I like them both.

DW