Almost nine years ago my wife passed

[solo1]

For some reason I've been really thinking of her today and missing her.  The weather and close to Christmas must have something to do with it.  She was only 68 and I was 74.  She never rode with me except once, back in 1954 on a borrowed new Matchless 500 vertical twin.  She was the Love of my life .  Her later years were filled with many physical problems and the last two years of her life I had the privilege of caring for her.  It sometimes is hard for me to read this board when stories and pics of many of you and your spouse are jointly enjoying this wonderful sport of motorcycling together.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself since I long ago knew that spouses don't generally die at the same time.

Back in 2005 I posted a short story about me and Phyl, totally fictitious and not exactly factual but, in her memory, I would like to post it again..............Here it Is.


                             IN MY MIND

I look out the window and all in view is a bleak Indiana winter landscape. Even though
the winter is still in its infancy, it is a grownup in its intensity. The streets are covered in
ice, the wind is blowing, the thermometer hasn't made up its mind as to whether it should
go up or down. and its not a fit day to be out.
The Valkyrie is hibernating for now with a battery charger ensuring a steady stream of
electrons for the day that the Valk is called upon to awaken. For now, the Valkyrie is
content to rest.
Rest is also what I should do. However, I cannot. My mind is restless. I wonder, could
it be possible to go back in time and relive events of my youth but change my personal
history to better suit my dreams. I think it is possible. In my Mind.
It is the summer of 1956. I am on my Valkyrie, Emanuel. My dear wife, Phyl, her with
the wonderful blue eyes, freckles, and youthful figure is on the back hugging my waist. I
am no longer Solo 1 for, you see, my wife is riding with me. Gone are all her ills that
troubled her in later years, gone are all her inhibitions about riding , and she is once
again the youthful girl and love of my life. As if that's not enough, I also have enjoyed a
magic transformation. My left knee once again does my bidding, my right wrist is pain
free, and all the anxieties and depression of my later years have disappeared as I return to
the joy of being 27 again. In my Mind.
The Valkyrie senses our mood. The chrome adorned flat six engine rumbles contentedly
as we motor east on Highway 2 along the north shore of Lake Michigan. The weather is
perfect, not a cloud in the sky with a temperature of 70 degrees and a cooling breeze
blowing onshore from the south. We are riding past a long stretch of sand dunes between
the lake and gently undulating highway 2. There are occasional tendrils of sand intruding
on the road but they present no problems to my reacquired youthful confidence and
skill. The deep blue waters of Lake Michigan beckons but our thirst for contentment is
satisfied by the heady aroma of pine trees , the wind past our bodies, and the willingness
of the steed under us to do our bidding. In my Mind.
We continue on. Ahead is a series of curves, unusual for this highway. However,
Emanuel is up to the task and so am I. The rumble of the Valk approaches a snarl as we
enter the curves, my wife holding me ever tighter but welcoming the rush. Soon, too
soon, we are through the curves and 'way ahead on our right, we can see Big Mac
beckoning to us. This graceful bridge over the straits, between the Great Lakes Huron
and Michigan, has always been a welcome sight. The ride marked by an absence of
other vehicles, has been rewarding. The memories, newly minted, are exquisite but
bittersweet. Overall a joyful experience. In my Mind.
So take a ride, take a trip, and enjoy, for anything is possible. In your Mind.


Things change, sometime for the better, sometimes for the worst.   The Valk is now in the good hands of  Li'l D,,  my wrist still hurts, but I'm still riding . Two out of three ain't bad.

Merry Christmas to all.

Wayne, Solo1

[HayHauler]

Merry Christmas Wayne.  Great story!

Hay 
Jimmyt

[JimL]

Very nice Wayne.  As a side note, this is at least the second piece you have written in which I was immediatedly transported to that time and place you had in your mind when transmitting your thoughts through the keyboard.  I was thinking about those very sand dunes just the other day.  There are certainly other writers that have had that effect; Fitzgerald, Hemmingway, and Dickens to name a few....but we expect that when reading their work.

Your a classy gentleman, thanks for sharing this with us.

[Mary (Ontario)]

Wayne, it would be very sad if no one mourned our passing or only remembered us for a short while after our death.
What wonderful memories you have to cherish (not the same as having your lovely wife with you) and pass on to your family.
I too miss and long for some very special people that were once in my life.
Take time to honour her memory and enjoy your day.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
All the best for 2011,

Mary

[bigguy]

Damn Wayne. My co-workers are looking at me funny for sitting here blubbering.
I'm 54, my wife is 59. She can still ride with me and enjoy's it immensely. But the arthritis is gaining ground daily. She gave up trying to ride on her own a few years ago because she just can't grip the bars, brake, and clutch well enough.
I was warmed by the glow of love you so eloquently expressed, but fear I'm reading my own future.
So few people truly find the love of their life. Those who haven't sometimes think they have, but never understand that connection to another part of yourself that we have. Because my wife long ago stopped being something separate from me. As the creator expresses it, "we two have become one flesh."
My heart goes out to you in you loss. I also celebrate the joy of your life together.

[John Schmidt]

Wayne, very moving. Looking forward to sharing another scotch 'n water with you. Take care my friend, here's hoping you will be able to share Christmas with those boys.

John

[R J]

Very good read pop.     It brought back my memories of my dad before and after Iwo Jima.

All good, even though he did bang on my butt a few times.

I kind of figure he kept me out of jail and maybe even prison and gave me a LEO job.....

Learned a lot from dad........      Supposedly he was buried on the island.    But any and all research on the net is the cemetery has been moved to the US, only haven't been able to figure out where over here.

[Hef]

Great read Wayne. I know there are many of us who have had similar experiences of losing a loved one. I often daydream about all the good times my beloved wife and I shared. I lost her to ovarian cancer after an extended 8 year battle on December 5, 2006. Made Christmas pretty rough that year. We were married for 37 glorius years. She was not just my spouse but my best friend. She rode on the bike with me all those years except at the end when she was not physically able. I went through a deep depression but with the help of the Lord and good friends I came out of it and resumed my life. There were many major changes which only those who have lost a spouse would understand. I am now dating a wonderful woman who also loves to ride with me and life is good but I never forget what a lucky man I am to have had such a loving companion for 37 years. God Bless.
 

[Garfield]

Merry Christmas Wayne

They say time heals all. I don't know about that. Well I was about to tell you about my story, but I don't want to high jack your post so I will leave it at that. God bless you

[f6rider]

DITTO  on the blubering.. what a great story.   I have been married for 26years and have the pleasure of her behind me for alot of miles..

And I recently lost my Dad so my emotions  are close to the surface.

Thanks for your sharing..

[BOZ]

Wayne - I don't know you personally, but thank you for allowing us in the VRCC the privilege of reading your wonderful story. I sent it to my wife, who still rides with me (as long as I agree to hold down the Valk's speed to a reasonable level - I'll get poked in the ribs if I don't). Merry Christmas and God bless you and your family.  BOZ

[solo1]

If you would've been there to see my imaginary ride in 1956, here's what Phyl and I looked like back then at Christmas time.  My sister and her kids are in the background.

Phyl did leave me a wonderful family though.  Wayne, Cheri, Mark(Mad6Gun) and Chris(Pschotic Bovine).We all live in the same area and we'll be together at Christmas.

[Daniel Meyer]

Thinking of you Wayne.

[ricoman]

A wonderful story-thank you for sharing.
I, too, have a love of my life. Sometimes when we are together I feel sad for those who do not have what we have. I know how you feel.
On my desk I keep a note I found-
"If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live a day without you" W.T. Pooh That pretty much says it for me.
The memories you cherish are not had by many. You are so very fortunate.
Merry Christmas and God Bless.

[SteveL]

Thank you Wayne, and my deepest respect for the love you have of your wife.

[KW]

I’ve never met you Wayne, but feel privileged and humbled to have been able to read your thoughts of your dear wife. Thank you for sharing this wonderful testimony of the love you and your wife shared.

My bride and I are going on 32 years together. I’m 52, so we’ve been together now the majority of my life. I can’t imagine – not even a little – life without her.

The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, heals all wounds with the passage of time. I pray God grants you healing - always - and blesses you with a renewed spirit and an encouraged heart.

God Bless!

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

Thanks for sharing another great read Wayne. I'm sorry for your sorrow though. I know time doesn't really make it go away. Mom, Dad, and my brothers have all moved on now. Dad's been gone 34 years and I think I miss him more every day.

You've really got a gift for writing, I know we all appreciate you taking the time to do so.

Andy and I rode home from Glacier National park last year on US 2 and down across the Big Bridge. It is a great road, lake Michigan was stormy and beautiful for us.

Hope you and the boys have a very good Christmas my friend.

[Chili Pepper]

It's hard to lose people who are so much a part of you. She lives on in your heart, in your children, and in all of your memories.  Thanks for sharing, Wayne.

[Karen]

Thanks for sharing, Wayne, that's a great picture from what was my first year of high school. Enjoy Christmas with your family, looking forward to seeing you again next summer. She's looking out for you.

[GreenLantern57]

Thanks for sharing, Wayne, that's a great picture from what was my first year of high school. Enjoy Christmas with your family, looking forward to seeing you again next summer. She's looking out for you.

Agreed, these things take time. Wife has hard time during holidays because her mom died in her arms on Thanksgiving 7 years. Hospice at home.

[slider]

It really hurts to lose the love of your life!I lost my daughter (4yrs) and her mother  in 1982 .Hit by a drunk driver that had been released the day before for the same thing..The hurt dosent go away completly  but the memories help.I feel for you sir,just hang on to the good memories and you can tough it thru..slider

[Ice]

Wayne,

Merry Christmas, thanks for sharing with us.

Yuri

[x]

Thanks... and prayers and blessings to you Wayne.  My wife and I are about to hit 33 years... the more that time goes by, the harder it seems that it would be to live without her.  She is in the US before me and the house seems empty... I empathize with your loss.