The doctor told my wife I'm clean as a whistle

[Willow]

I believe the secret is keeping proper ventilation and a good continuous airflow.



I've got to tell you, yesterday was a really tough day.    

[Bandit]

  Bandit

[flamingobabe #44]

Thanks for sharing...I think....glad you're well....

[hotglue #43]

If it's good enough for Santa's reindeer.......to make the exhale part of continuous airflow work...LOL
Hope ya don't mind if we ride in front......



I'm guessing Motomama's post with the dancin elves, farting 'jingle bells' was TRUE.....

[Trynt]

For me, that exam puts that whole airport scanner controversy into perspective. 

[f6gal]

I believe the secret is keeping proper ventilation and a good continuous airflow.

I've got to tell you, yesterday was a really tough day.    

I don't see your head in the pic... did they move it to the side?    

Sorry, Carl... sometimes I just can't help myself!

[shortleg]

  Looks like you did the prep correctly.
 Very clean Willow
    Shortleg[Dave]

[donaldcc]

   Always best to have that exam from a woman!  

  I think I see a tonsil hanging down there on the left.

[scoot]

As long as the doctor didn't have both hands on your shoulders when he did it, I guess all is well. ???

[Big Rig]

Glad every thing was clear...now I would have preferred to see that little red X

 

[f6gal]

As long as the doctor didn't have both hands on your shoulders when he did it, I guess all is well. ???

Female doc... according to the pic.  Willow may be brighter than we think!

[hotglue #43]

One of my first priorities for a doctor.... male or female is "small fingers"   

[Willow]

Female doc... according to the pic.  Willow may be brighter than we think!

What??  You've never met a man named Elizabeth?

They actually gave me a choice.  I think it was the whole "cheeks spread and you won't remember a thing" that was playing with my mind.      

One of my first priorities for a doctor.... male or female is "small fingers"   

I don't remember seeing the probe, but I'm guessing the size of the fingers wasn't an issue.

[Shades]

Congrats!!!!!!!!

[John Schmidt]

I know we all poke fun over that exam, but it sure is important. What gives me a chuckle is....I get a card every year from my eye dr. reminding me I need my annual exam. And I get a card from the heart dr. for the same reason...another stress test. Most recently I got a card from the "rear admiral" reminding me it's time for him to look up my name and address. My first visit to him some years ago I called him Captain Kirk....going where no man has gone before.

Last year my wife had to have both ends scoped out due to some major stomach problems. Before they took her away, I reminded her to tell the dr. she wanted the stomach scoped first. When she asked what difference it made, I told her they're trying to cut back on expenses and often use the same instrument for both ends. My wife, being used to my lame sense of humor, just ignored me. The nurse...that was a different story. She got all upset with me and chased me out of the room.

[Mo Lee]

Had my first around this time last year and he wanted to see me again in 1 year. Well the reminder came a couple of weeks ago and I told the wife to schedule it. Long story short, I guess she decided what to get me for Christmas, I'm being scoped on Dec 24th. Wonder what I did wrong this year? 

[solo1]

I've had that done a number of times, last time was this year.  The bad news was that my diverticulosis gets in the way.  The good news is that I never had polyps and it's not necessary any more at my age.

[Tundra]

Good News How clean is a whistle? Where did that saying come from?

[Hef]

Always great to hear good news on any health exam. Congrats Willow.

[John Schmidt]

Good News How clean is a whistle? Where did that saying come from?

Yeah, and what's a whistle doing up there anyway? 

[solo1]

Probably more like a tugboat's horn

[hotglue #43]

Dave Barry's account of the procedure........

 This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:
>
> I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
> appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy
> showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to
> go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .
> Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
> I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said,
> because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE
> 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
>
> I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription
> for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to
> hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for
> now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
>
> I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
> Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In
> accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all
> I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
> Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder
> together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.
> (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32
> gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an
> hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a
> mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
>
> The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great
> sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel
> movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump
> off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
>
> MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but:
> Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the
> MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you
> wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much
> confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate
> everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you
> have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I
> can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
>
> After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next
> morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only
> was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing
> occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if
> I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
>
> At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood
> and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they
> led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside
> a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of
> those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that,
> when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
>
> Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
> Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was
> already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in
> their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of
> this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too
> tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full
> Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
>
> When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room,
> where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not
> see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there
> somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll
> over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something
> up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and
> I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to
> Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this
> particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
>
> 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha
> ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
> more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
> am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
>
> I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
> yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
> moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
> Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt
> excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was
> all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
> ABOUT THE WRITER:
> Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
> On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
> comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed
> that the following are actual comments made by his patients
> (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
>
> 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
>
> 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
>
> 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
>
> 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
>
> 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
>
> 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
>
> 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
>
> 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
>
> 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
>
> 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
>
> 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
>
> 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
>
> And the best one of all....................
>
> 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
> there?'
>

[Karen]

So we have it on good authority that you have, not are, a perfect a$$? I could have told you that without all the distress, but you probably wouldn't have believed me. Glad the results are positive. I used to say I'd stand behind you 100%, but given Lori's video & your ventilation requirements, I'm afraid I'll have to pass until this, too, shall pass. I believe you have gotten a very good early Christmas present. Whatever are you going to do for New Years to beat this?

[alph]

I believe the secret is keeping proper ventilation and a good continuous airflow.

Knowing this is good, next time we're on a ride together, I’ll be sure to be AHEAD of you.

I’ve got a funny story about when I had a colonoscopy, but I don't want to share it here...... (my post might get deleted....)

[Daniel Meyer]

Now *that's* a side I've you I've never seen before... 

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

I know I should go get checked out ( turned 50 in November ) but I probably will not    I'm sure thats a good feeling Carl to know the " whistle " is clean 

[Karen]

Claire said to tell you that she'd have known you anywhere from that shot.

[Willow]

I know I should go get checked out ( turned 50 in November ) but I probably will not    I'm sure thats a good feeling Carl to know the " whistle " is clean 

I'll turn 60 in February (If the Lord's willing).  I was way overdue.

It is encouraging to have someone confirm that the old tuba is still in good working order.

Claire said to tell you that she'd have known you anywhere from that shot.

lol!  Give Claire my greeting.

[T.P.]

I had my Colonoscopy and Endoscopy on December 24th 2009, MERRY CHRISTMAS present to myself.

[Stude]

 Don't know which end we are looking at here....  
But if you say it's good news....   Then congratulation on a clean whistle 

[scoot]

Good News How clean is a whistle? Where did that saying come from?

One possibility is that the old simile describes the whistling sound of a sword as it swishes through the air to decapitate someone, and an early 19th century quotation does suggest this connection: 'A first rate shot.(his) head taken off as clean as a whistle.' The expression is proverbial, at least since the 18th century, when Robert Burns used a variation on it. More likely the basic idea suggests the clear, pure sound a whistle makes, or the slippery smooth surface of a willow stick debarked to make a whistle. But there is also a chance that the phrase may have originally been 'as clean as a whittle,' referring to a piece of smooth wood after it is whittled.'"

Read more: Where did the phrase "clean as a whistle" originate? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/402100#ixzz18VMgZ74M

[Stude]

 Mr. Willow the scope is about the size of a cell phone  and you didn't feel a thing 

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.insidestory.iop.org/images/endoscope.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.insidestory.iop.org/colon.html&h=256&w=240&sz=12&tbnid=kV7IyfpmoOYCFM:&tbnh=204&tbnw=192&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcolonoscopy%2Bcamera&zoom=1&q=colonoscopy+camera&hl=en&usg=__RvnjHauDuWfKEW_r8o3pAXxouNM=&sa=X&ei=1UoNTYuTNs3nnQfmn9zDDg&ved=0CCMQ9QEwAQ

[fudgie]

Congrats!  I'll have to get it done later on. Colon CA runs in the family.

[Willow]

  Mr. Willow the scope is about the size of a cell phone  and you didn't feel a thing 

 

    Ouch!  A cell phone you say?  I'm just glad I didn't have it done in 1992. 

[Stude]

 No .... be glad you didn't haffta go to the urologist and have a urologist scope done to check out the plumbing..... THAT WOULD FREAK YA OUT.... because that one you're awake for

[czuch]

Good thing to know. When you find out how many good and or famous people have died from this most catchable cancer it astounding. Elizabeth Montgomery comes to mind. Often.
Its not a big deal and to not have it done is plain ignorant. People depend on you and love you.
Not being here because "dont wanna" is unacceptable.
Freak em out, ask for the thicker longer one.

[Stude]

 Be brave ask the doctor if you can borrow his tools so you can save some money and do it yourself