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Author Topic: degrees of Blonde jokes  (Read 1158 times)
rainman
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Posts: 1837


Steve ( rainman) Eads

Bloomington Indiana


« on: February 10, 2011, 06:00:29 AM »

just some joke no offence taken  2funny

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,  listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles  from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
 
 
 
SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
 
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
 
So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
 
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
 
 
 
FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.  She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'
 
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'
 
 
 
FIFTH DEGREE Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
 
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'
 
 
 
SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and  reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,  and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
 
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
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Kaiser
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Posts: 696


Gainesville, FL


« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2011, 06:51:21 AM »

 2funny cooldude  Thanks for the jokes.

No offense taken (I'm married to a blond who is currently working on getting her PhD).
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csj
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Posts: 992


I used to be a wolfboy, but I'm alright NOOOOOWWWW

Peterborough Ontario Canada


« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2011, 06:54:50 AM »

Did you hear about the blonde skeleton, found in the closet?

Last year's 'hide and seek' winner.
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A guy called me a Ba$tard, I said in my case it's an accident
of birth, in your case you're a self made man.
czuch
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Posts: 4140


vail az


« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2011, 07:37:39 AM »

Dont be worried about "offence". Thats lame. I'm offended by offended people.
My wife is Blonde and Polish. I love her so much.

Here in Tucson theres a Polish club. As we drove by one day I remarked that I wonder if they supply the rags and polishing compound. 5 minutes later she hit me. We still laugh about that.
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Aot of guys with burn marks,gnarly scars and funny twitches ask why I spend so much on safety gear
John Schmidt
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Posts: 15224


a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)


« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2011, 07:49:43 AM »

Some years before retiring, I had to train a new auditor....a young, attractive blonde gal. She was really quite sharp in her new job and I told her so, also gave a good writeup for her. We developed a good friendship and she took to calling me "partner" due to our association during and after the training....an association that was strictly business.  One day I noticed the roots along her part line were rather dark and I teased her about it. I was told the upcoming weekend she had a date with the hairdresser to get it back to blonde. I told her she ought to save all that money and just let it grow out to its normal brunette color. Her answer....."I would but I couldn't handle the responsibility."  Absolutely cracked me up, still chuckle about it when it comes to mind.
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da prez
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Posts: 4361

. Rhinelander Wi. Island Lake Il.


« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2011, 11:09:52 AM »

 so we are at the comedy club on open mike night with the usual blond bashing.

  My turn . do you know how many blond jokes there are?
  Olny two, the rest are true!
  The blond raises her hand and asks  "which two"   
                                      by da prez
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musclehead
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Posts: 7245


inverness fl


« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2011, 11:33:05 AM »

it has been statistacically proven that blondes are no smarter or dumber then other hair colored ladies. however I married a blonde and sometimes the statistics are wrong  Evil shes gonna shoot me when she sees this
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'in the tunnels uptown, the Rats own dream guns him down. the shots echo down them hallways in the night' - the Boss
Marcel
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« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2011, 01:36:56 PM »

Never seen a Blonde who could run a Post Hole Digger.

PHD


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rainman
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Posts: 1837


Steve ( rainman) Eads

Bloomington Indiana


« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2011, 04:17:24 PM »

Never seen a Blonde who could run a Post Hole Digger.

PHD


Bikini.com All Star Mia Foley HD








I don't think she is a real  Blonde the roots are to dark Sad
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