Guess the years are piling up

[old2soon]

My daughter who will turn 16 on the 17th of May-just came back from the licsense office with her(dare i say it in public) brand spanking new learners permit. Where in the heck have the years gone. She used to fit in the crook of my arm!! Now when she stands next to me she lays her head on my shoulder. Gonna have to find that shotgun. She has turned into quite the young lady. I see the way the young bucks look at her. Makes me want to hurt em-lots. I was young once upon a time. Course if i read their mind somebody gonna hafta bail my sorry a$$ outa jail. RIDE SAFE.

[sugerbear]

oh ya??????  well MY baby will turn 30 this year!!!!!!
grandaughter is almost 5.  feelin really old today

on her first date, when the boy came to pick her up, i was sharpening my broadheads

[Jess from VA]

Explain all dates must meet the folks first.

Always be cleaning guns when they arrive.

Some use this form with good success:

http://wbenton.tripod.com/humor/Jokeindex420.html

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME: ____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH: ______________

2. HEIGHT: _________ WEIGHT: _________ I.Q: ________ G.P.A:_________

3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: _______ DRIVERS LICENSE #: _______________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK: ____________________________________________________

5. HOME ADDRESS: _____________________ CITY/STATE: __________ ZIP: _______

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _____________
If No, EXPLAIN: _________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married: _______________________

8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _______
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? ______________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises immediately!!!)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

12. Church you attend: _____________ How often do you attend: ______________________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? ______

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential
(That means I won't tell anyone-ever... I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is: ___________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ___________________

c) A woman's place is in the: ___________________________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: _____________

(NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping
your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

________________________________________
Signature (That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?:

_____ Yes, please accept my application

_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...   

[old2soon]

sugarbear-my oldest daughter from first marriage will be 41 this august. Jessfromva-daughter(the soon to be 16 one) kinda sorta liked that application. I know i ain't the only dad in the world with daughters. But they need to be treated and protected a little different than you would boys. Got them grandkids to-just don't see enough of them. God bless all ya'll familys out there in valk and m/c land. RIDE SAFE.

[John Schmidt]

Man, do I ever know what you're feeling. I raised four daughters, my "baby" will be 43 this year. Her oldest sister will be 53 in about a month. I think every joint in my body just started aching even more!!!    My oldest grandkids(twin boy/girl) turn 32 in a couple weeks. They're two of seventeen grandkids, which have in turn given me.....uh, thinking....seven great grandkids.

Raising my girls was quite the experience. The boys used to call our house Stalag 13 because of all the lights out front. Street lights on either side of the house, one on the front of the carport and one inside it at the back door. One light at the front door, and a light on a big pine tree in the front yard. They couldn't even bat their eyes in the front seat without me knowing about it.    For the most part, the guys treated us with respect, plus the girls were all active in the church and the local Youth For Christ which had a lot of their HS friends in it. Most of their friends loved to come to our place and just "hang" because there was never any pressure from us old folks to be anything but teenagers. Strangely enough, it continued after they started college. Their college buddies felt at ease enough to do the same thing....just hang. The college was 1,000 miles away but they liked to come visit, and the word seemed to spread. They still talk about mom 'n dad Schmidt. There's something about having girls that sticks with you. I guess the good Lord knew what He was doing when he gave me all girls. But, people ask if I had any boys, I tell them "yes, dozens....and none belonged to me." Wouldn't have had it any other way.

[da prez]

 I too have a daughter turning 41 (?) . When she was about 18, she was starting to date a guy that I did not like, not just because I am the father, but he was to rough with her. We had a pool party and he got a little rough er than he should. She said something to him to no avail. As he stood on the pool deck, I ran at him and yelled at the last moment (so he knew, and would enjoy the pain) and tackled him , went into the pool and held him down (just long enough) for a finish. I pulled him up as I had no more room for bodies . I let him know that I frown on my daughters being bullied, and if this continued, the next time I would inflict real pain.
                                      da prez
 ps I was an old bar fighter and for some reason he quit dating my daughter

[John Schmidt]

We think and act alike when it came to the ladies in our life. I had warned one jerk about how he talked and acted toward my second oldest when she was a jr. in HS. He just looked at me with scorn, said "yeah, right." Oh boy....wrong approach!!  Couple weeks later, same thing again with her and I walked out and told him to get lost and don't come back...ever. He was quick to tell me that who she dated was her business and nobody else. Wrong thing to say to a dad, I told him if he came back I'd wear him on the arm. He did....I did. She thanked me later.

[Kaiser]

Always be cleaning guns when they arrive.

That can COMPLETELY backfire.  My best freind (a good ole country boy) went to go pick up his date one night and her dad was cleaning his guns when he got there.  My buddy sat down and struck up a conversation with the dad about guns.  He ended up talking to the dad so long about guns that the date had to push him out the door!

I'm just sayin' - if your daughter dates a redneck, your plan may not work out as intended...and you might have a new friend!

[sugerbear]

dam you guys are REALLY old, i'l just shut up now..  lol

[old2soon]

dam you guys are REALLY old, i'l just shut up now..  lol

  TRUST US we were all YOUNG once. Kinda sneaks up on ya!! I realized while workin on my valk that i am not 50 or 55 or even 60 anymore. Take this anyway you want-what i used to do all night-now takes me all night to do. RIDE SAFE. All jokin aside-protect those very special young ladies in your life. They grow up entirely to fast. I know my daughter natalie is part of the reason i'm still going as strong as i can. She has a choir concert in columbia mo this weekend-and this old man will be there for her. Heck it's only 200 miles away-but circumstances dictate i use the cage. Nuff said.

[POPS 57]

When my daughter was in her teens. We were talking about things in her life. She says to me your not very friendly with the boys that come home with me. I told her they are not my friends and they need to know that. And its way safer for them that way.