Phoenix Arizona driving tips

[Westernbiker]

If any of you plan on coming to Phoenix or passing thru Phoenix here are some rules and tips, please study and pay careful attention to these!!!!! 



HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX , ARIZONA

1. 'Phoenix' actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe,
Mesa, Gilbert, Glendale, Peoria, Tolleson, Avondale, Goodyear,
Litchfield Park, Sun City, Sun City West, Sun Lakes, Surprise, and half
of the Mexican border.
 
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening
rush hour is from noon to 9:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on
Thursday morning.
 
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On
Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
less is considered 'Wussy'.
 
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has
its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the
loudest mufflers go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the
biggest tires go second. However, in the East Valley , SUV-driving,
cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
 
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear
ended.
 
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously. It's an offense
that can get you shot.
 
7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix . Detour barrels
are moved around for your entertainment and pleasure during the middle
of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, rabbits, vultures,
javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
 
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the
same Road. SR202 is the same road as the Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and
Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington , but they
are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway
as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. The SR51 has recently been
renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to
pronounce. SR101 is also the Pima FWY except West of I-17, which is
also The Black Canyon FWY, and the Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly,
Thunderbird Rd. Becomes Cactus Rd. -- but, Cactus Rd. Doesn't become
Thunderbird Rd. Because it dead ends at a mountain.
 
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to
the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
activated.'
 
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65
mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off.'
Accordingly, if you return the flip, you'll be shot.
 
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on
your hands.

13. Please note that there are many, MANY more issues to the
phenomenon of driving in Phoenix -- like the four-cars-through-
a-red-light rule -- but these will at least get you acquainted with our
unique life on the road. 

[Serk]

Sounds a lot like home! Here's the version for Dallas:

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-US, not DAL-ISS.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules...."Hold on and pray". There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". . . which has no beginning and no end.

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing into all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, so we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth."

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. PERIOD.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road. . . all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On the South end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave. K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman, TX.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of Spanish.

If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet.

If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed.

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. It also ends in Sherman.

LBJ Freeway is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap".

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it is Spring, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round. If it is Fall, the Texas State Fair is going on.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $5.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.

If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his 'yard', run over him.

All amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

With these simple rules in mind you are now ready to drive in Dallas.

Please try and keep up.

[Michael K (Az.)]

I've lived in both, sums it up!!

[Oss]

pretty much sums up my experience as you drove us around

Of course it helps to have a really large pick em up truck

 

[Spirited-6]

BOY, I`m glad I live in the Country.  

[fiddle mike]

Sounds like the animals have taken over in Phoenix and Dallas.  In Corpus Christi, only a personal grudge (or cocaine debt, if you're a lawyer) will get you shot while in your car.

[Willow]

I've ridden in both Dallas and Phoenix.

The best way to develop an appreciation for Phoenix is to sample Dallas traffic.    

When anyone complains about traffic in Kansas City I just smile and talk about something else.

[Westernbiker]

pretty much sums up my experience as you drove us around

Of course it helps to have a really large pick em up truck

 

Oh Oss, were ya really scared? LMAO!

[art]

Here in Oakridge or we have only one stop light an it almost always green.I do agree on Phoenix I lived in Prescott,az for 9 yrs.

[old2soon]

To all ya'll -re drivin here and there. And everyone i know asks the same question-do ya miss truck driving. I have a couple of stock answers the favorite which is-I'd rather have hemrhoids removed-whilst still awake. Stay safe out there. RIDE SAFE.

[czuch]

YUP! Driving in Phoenix is best done in 3rd gear at the higher middle of the torque curve and BOTH eyes wide open. Dal-us, same thing, with both eyes tightly closed.
PS. Texans refer to Texas as " The Country".

[bigguy]

My first trips to Dallas were in a Nissan Sentra. (The same little Sentra I busted all over Memphis in.)  I easily aged 5 years in 10 minutes. I felt like a minnow in tank full of bass.  
Several years later I wound up hauling a bunch of kids to Six-Flags in the church bus. We got iced out by a sleet storm (this was in April) so plan B was the Galleria.  
It was at this point I discovered that Dal-us drivers will respect your right to be on the road with them in direct proportion to your vehicle's mass. Flip the blinker, turn the wheel, and people who'd run right the h#!! over a Nissan Sentra will get the out of the way of a bus. If I could afford the gas, that's the only thing I'd ever drive there.  
I've never ridden my bike in the Metroplex. Can't imagine I ever will.  

[Oss]

The only people we saw was the homeless ones that kept walking up to your pick up truck

Maybe they knew you?  Everyone else stayed away ... far away.

 

Want some fun? Come on up here and ride the South Bronx with me, the Cross Bronx Expressway and Bruckner Expressway and the Major Deegan Expressway  but why they call em Expressways is beyond me

Chicken with trucks and livery cabs, and my personal favorite, people from 3rd world countries driving vehicles with diplomatic plates with phones glued to their ears and playing music from the middle east now that is entertaining

[Westernbiker]

The only people we saw was the homeless ones that kept walking up to your pick up truck

Maybe they knew you?  Everyone else stayed away ... far away.

 

Want some fun? Come on up here and ride the South Bronx with me, the Cross Bronx Expressway and Bruckner Expressway and the Major Deegan Expressway  but why they call em Expressways is beyond me

Chicken with trucks and livery cabs, and my personal favorite, people from 3rd world countries driving vehicles with diplomatic plates with phones glued to their ears and playing music from the middle east now that is entertaining

I'm only coming your way if you take me up state on the Valks!!!!!!!! LOL!

[Oss]

Ok 

But I only have one Valk so you can ride bitch     

I would be happy to let you ride my interstate on any of the Hudson Valley, Connecticut  or Delaware Water Gap rides.  I cant handle the seat on the beemer for more than 3 hours at a time tho

Why dont you ride up here in the fall? 

 

[mario]

turn signals are pert'near nonexistent in houston.  and then there are texas rights.  someone making a right turn from the center lane.

[Westernbiker]

Ok 

But I only have one Valk so you can ride bitch     

I would be happy to let you ride my interstate on any of the Hudson Valley, Connecticut  or Delaware Water Gap rides.  I cant handle the seat on the beemer for more than 3 hours at a time tho

Why dont you ride up here in the fall? 

 

I believe this board refers to it as riding two up! LMAO! Come on Oss, ride your interstate? You do remember I am 6'7" with long legs, don't think I could ride the interstate.
Riding up to NY this year won't happen. I need to be with this company longer so I can get MORE time off with pay. Maybe in a couple of years but Oss........don't hold your breath there buddy! LOL!

[Hotrodwing]

Hey oss a few guys want to ride into the city.  I think they want to cruise thru the park and th e upper east side.  What time of year, what day and what time would be the best?  We would be coming from the scranton Pa area.

[Oss]

any weekend day there is no marathon being run or 5 boro bike race. 

morning early would be my recommendation any time the roads are dry

you couldnt pay me enough to want to ride in Manhattan with all the stop lights and pedestrians who cross against the light in the middle of the block as well as intersections

I have done several ground zero rides, at least the police have the cross streets blocked on those and usual route is down the west side highway  The FDR  (east side drive) is very dangerous with all the construction plates, left and right merges etc for someone who has not done it.

Much more fun for me to head north and east or west and enjoy mountains lakes and cliffs

[old2soon]

The only people we saw was the homeless ones that kept walking up to your pick up truck

Maybe they knew you?  Everyone else stayed away ... far away.

 

Want some fun? Come on up here and ride the South Bronx with me, the Cross Bronx Expressway and Bruckner Expressway and the Major Deegan Expressway  but why they call em Expressways is beyond me

Chicken with trucks and livery cabs, and my personal favorite, people from 3rd world countries driving vehicles with diplomatic plates with phones glued to their ears and playing music from the middle east now that is entertaining
 All those named roads-i felt uncofortable in my 18 wheeler-on my valk or a cage-no way in hades. Think i'll continue to hang out here in the ozarks. RIDE SAFE.

[Kidd]

I will go to Phoenix on a Saturday or a Sunday  , very very nice  on weekends .
But not on weekdays

[RP#62]

We're coming up to an intersection, the light changes to yellow and Cheryl guns it and goes through the intersection.  I look at her with a WTF expression.  And she says....what......there's no camera.  If they didn't care enough to put up a camera, why should I care enough to stop.  With logic like that, she has no problem with Phoenix traffic.

Of course I should point out that one day, we took a half day off on a Friday and headed to LA.  We get there right in the middle of rush hour go home traffic.  I look over and she's got a big smile and I say what are you smiling about.  She says . . .finally, people that know how to drive.  She's in her element.
-RP

[queen bee]

Years ago, I moved from the LA area to Phoenix and thought, "Nice....these people know how to drive".  Couple of years later, moved to Dallas and thought, "My gawd!  These people drive like maniacs!"  After living there for many years, ended up moving back to California, but up in Ventura (north of LA).  In those days it was a sleepy little beach town. Enjoyed drivers again.  Rush hour traffic was limited to about 4 city blocks down by the beach. THEN, I moved back to Phoenix and found myself wishing that driving in traffic here was as good as in DALLAS!  But...now every time I go to visit my daughter there, I think they all drive like lunatics!  Geeeeezzz.