I WUZ BAD

We put out a couple of publication other than the newspaper and some of those publications have their own offices in the building. I still maintain tech support for those offices. One such publication is a monthly magazine named HER. This is an estrogen laced frilly product that is actually quite popular and you can almost always find it in the office of every cosmetic surgery clinic, hair saloon, boutique, or any other place women frequent in Texarkana.
No mistaking the offices either as the rooms are full of dresses, and material as well as frilly, smelly stuff, and things who's purpose I couldn't begin to guess at. Some of the artifacts look a little scary. More than once, I've looked at something laying on a desk and wondered, "Just what in the h@ll is that used for? More to the point, WHERE is it used?"
No mistaking the staff either. All of our sales staff dress professionally, but the HER ladies somehow take it to a new level. Heels are little higher, lipstick a little glossier, and billion other little differences I'm somehow aware of, but couldn't really pinpoint. Anytime I'm in those areas, I can just feel the testosterone leaching from my body.
I was stuck down there this morning working on a desktop machine. I had a few minutes to wait on an authentication process and noticed something laying on the desk. It was a magazine article with a photo of a male model. In his mid-thirties, he was well tanned, smooth chested and had a full head of thick hair slicked back in a shiny widows peak. Bullet points beside the photo referenced things like shaved armpits, and groomed chest hair.
A yellow sticky note attached to the photo had penned the word, "MANSCAPING" Beneath that they continued with the definition:
|man-scap-eng|
verb - The act of blah, blah, blah.

What can I say? The horror! The horror!
With a few minutes to spare as the computer continued to churn away at the process I'd started, I grabbed a pad of sticky notes and added a few of my own thoughts.
GAYAFACATION
|gay-a-fa-kay-shun|
Verb - The process of making a man look like a girl rather than want to chase girls.

On a second sticky I placed the notice:
If this condition occurs, pop the hood of the nearest car and hand him a beer and wrench. Helps if there is a ball game on the radio.

I finished, told the lady her computer was ready, and told her to call me if she had any other problems.
The phone hasn't rung yet.