Only in America

[bassman]

> Only in  America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the
> way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
> people can buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>   Only in  America .....do people order double cheeseburgers,
> large fries, and a diet coke.
>
> Only in  America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then
> chain the pens to the counters.
>
> Only in  America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
> dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>
> Only in  America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
> and buns in packages of eight.. 
>
> Only in  America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with
> Braille lettering.
>
> EVER WONDER ....
> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>
> Why can't women    put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
> Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
>
> Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
>
> Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
>
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
> liquid made with real lemons?

> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush
> hour?
>
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 
>
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>
> You know that indestructible black box that is used on
> airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
>
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
> progress?
>
> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[Momz]

Deep thoughts from the mind of Neil.
I believe retirement will do that,...right?

[Gryphon]

I would also like to know:  Who was the sick and twisted individual that decided to define the condition "lisp" with an "s'?

[MacDragon]

> Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

I used to work for the "Psychic Network" but I got fired... I couldn't have been any good at it... cuz I didn't see it coming...

> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I also hate it when they announce... "we're coming in for our FINAL decent..."

[Valker]

I would also like to know:  Who was the sick and twisted individual that decided to define the condition "lisp" with an "s'?

Or made stutter have 3 "t"s.

[hubcapsc]

I would also like to know:  Who was the sick and twisted individual that decided to define the condition "lisp" with an "s'?

The guy who taught me the programming language Lisp had a wisp... it was a wong semester 

Why do we park our cars on the driveway, and drive them on the parkway?

-Mike