What I Did Today......humor, non valk

[DIGGER]

 
 
What did you do today?

 

When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day:

 

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from

a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in

a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an

aggressive rattlesnake"

 

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome

outdoorsman!"

 

"No," I replied, "I'm just a sorry golfer."

 
 

[John Schmidt]

Sounds like my game. When someone says they're a "scratch" golfer, that usually means they can play par or better golf. I tell people I'm a "scratch" golfer; I hit the ball then "scratch" my head, wondering where the sam hill did it go this time? We live on a golf course and I periodically will take an evening walk around the course, and usually take my ball retriever with me. It lets me snag balls that have been hit in the water or deep in the bushes. I find a lot of my own balls. 

[DIGGER]

Like the 70 yr old man came home from playing golf and told his wife "Guess I'm gonna have to quit playing golf.  My eyes have gotten so bad when I hit the ball I can't see far enough to see where it went."    His wife said "Well, why don't you get Pete our neighbor to ride with you, he is 95 but he has excellent eyesight.".   The husband thought it over and said "That's a good idea."

Next day the husband took Pete the 95 yr old man with him.    He got ready to tee up and he told Pete "You ready?"   Pete said "Yeah, go ahead and hit it".    The husband clobbered the ball and immediately he lost sight of it.   He turned to Pete and said "Pete, did ya see where it went?"  Pete responded immediately "Yeah, I saw exactly where it went."    The husband got in the cart and looked at Pete and said "Where did it go?"    Pete looked at him and said "I can't remember."

[scootertrash]

When I am asked  "what is your handicap?",  I tell them my handicap is that I suck at golf...

[Jess Tolbirt]

at one of our pro courses here in TN, this weekend i shot a 68,,,

next weekend i am gonna go back and see what i can do on the second hole...