Just Fred.....

[bassman]

Just Fred......



A cop stops a biker for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

 

 

[Chrisj CMA]

OK, so later that day (after reading this) I take the trash out......it was dusk.......I didnt notice the hijacker that figured I was a good vehicle to hop on..........

I come in the house and I have to pee.  (I know TMI) but theres no other way

While "taking care of business" this terribly large spider crawls down my arm to my hand....I only felt it when it got to my hand and almost onto....ok WAY TMI

so I PANIC (a little) the spider goes flying.......I make a small wet mess in the bathroom, my heart is racing and I yell for judy to get the fly swatter.

Now, the spider is dead and all I can think of was its poisionous and I almost went the way of Fred Johnson.

Turns out it was a grand Daddy Long leg spider....not real poisionous, but STILL....THERE.....NO WAY


All is well