Bubb'a cheap and reliable security system

[R J]

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM WHEN ON A BUDGET:
 
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used
 work boots, size 14-16 - or larger.
 
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
  a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
 
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba,
 Big Jim, Duke, Slim and I went to the gun shop for more
 ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they
 attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think
Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
 
P.S. - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'
 
  INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!


  Thanks for using the Redneck Security Company
 

[John Schmidt]

My oldest daughter and hubby have two Great Danes. So, my youngest a few years back made a recording of them during a barking session they had over a cat that crossed their path. She then added that recording to her greeting on her telephone answering machine. She also set out a couple huge dog dishes along with a half eaten leg bone from a deer. All the irritating calls and weird sounds at night came to a halt shortly thereafter.

She had also picked up a 20' section of chain along with a rather large collar which she deliberately broke...not sure how she did that. She then attached the chain to a tree in her front yard along with the broken collar.