What makes these young'uns turn to suicide?

[G-Man]

Last night my niece drank a bottle of mercurichrome (didn't even know it still existed).  Parents divorced about 6 or 7 years, living with mother (a child in every way herself) and new husband in Brooklyn.  Father works, works, works.  Has her every other weekend and until a couple years ago spent those weekends with me and my kids (as he was working).  Kid started missing school and posting cryptic things on FB.  Couldn't find her one day after school, turns out they cut school and went to Coney Island.  Kid was introverted and lashed out with behavioral problems and emotional breakdowns.  Other brother-in-law stepped in and took the kid out of the environment and moved her in with them .  She got her own room, was able to keep her yappy little dog, took away her cell phone, registered her for school (she was very behind), and he and his wife gave her stability and attention.  Going to school everyday, church on Sunday, homework done, some chores to help out.  Sis-in-law thought she was doing good.  Kid got a new cell phone and called the numbers she memorized and got the gossip from Brooklyn that this boy was talking about her and that girl said this, some other things didn't go her way around the house,......  Sis-in-law took the girl and her boys to their after school programs at the church and went food shopping.  Came back in an hour to find the ambulance at the church.  She took the stuff from the house and brought it with her.  Unfortunately, we got called late and ran up there to find it was only one lane each way over the Tappan Zee bridge with me pounding the steering wheel because I really wanted to get where I was going.  Talked to the docs at the hospital, left my RN nurse (who works the psych unit in her spare time) with my sis-in-law and then took her kids home and put them to bed.  They got to the house at 3:00 AM and we were all still beside ourselves with grief and frustration.  Maybe we didn't act soon enough to save her?  Maybe this is rock bottom for her (not too sure as she's too young to even recognize rock bottom).  This sucks, man.  What makes them resort to suicide?

[Willow]

Gary I can't discern from what you posted, but I hope and pray you're describing an attempted suicide rather than a successful one.

I have no real answers.  My perspective on suicide comes from a quote whose author I don't remember, "Suicide is the ultimate expression of anger."  Add to that the vulnerability of adolescents regarding acceptance and rejection and they can be a bomb waiting for any momentary match.

It's a tough time of life for kids.  It does sound like you and her extended family have done the right things to support her, but also that she was deeply damaged already.

I hope she'll survive this attempt and recovery emotionally as well as physically.

[Jabba]

Me too man.  I also hope it was a failed attempt.

I have never personally understood suicide... but I don't have the brain defect that takes people there.  Because I don't suffer from it, or understand it, does not make it any less real or valid.

I don't pray much, but I have said one for her, and you and your family.

Jabba 

[G-Man]

Sorry, she's still with us, thank goodness.

Yup, she's been hurting for a while.  I hope we can figure this one out before she becomes another medicated soul making her way through life.

Niece in front, daughter behind, 2.5 months ago

[MP]

All our prayers, G-Man!

Hopefully she can find someone to help her sort thru her problems, and get some comfort.

MP and Charlene

[Serk]

I believe this is the first time I've opened a thread expecting it to be another political rant, and been disappointed that it isn't. 

As others have said, sure hope she can straighten things out and figure out what she needs to do to get through this. I have bad memories of that period of my life, I never got to that point, but it was a painful period for me, as it was for most people...

[MacDragon]

Sorry to hear of it, and at the same time, glad it wasn't successful... Hope she gets the help and support she needs.  Around 10 years ago, my son had formed a band.  His best friend and bass player hung himself in his aunts vacant duplex.  He was only 18.  He had a disturbing upbringing, and was upset that most of his friends had more than he did... He, unfortunately, didn't give his life a chance to see how it would play out.  it's sad to see them go that far...

Best of luck to her and your family.

[czuch]

I'm glad things went well for her. Its a shame that folks do this.
I learned to see what tomorrow brings, and just be an outside observer for a while.
How would this be, without me? There were times I thought the world would be a better place if I wasnt innit. It is real hard. Theyres good days and bad days, but every day is wonderful.
Tell her shes beautiful and special. NOTHING is worth your tomorrows.
I put a hand written sign by my door, "Jesus believes in you".
I'll put my soul back in the envelope now.

[Bob E.]

First, let me say that I'm hoping the best for her, you, and your family.

You asked "What makes them do it?"  I've known several people who have attempted suicide...most successful.  In my experience, I don't believe there is any one single reason that leads to it.  It is the piling on of issues over time that eventually pushes that person over the edge.  You highlighted several issues she was dealing with including rough home life, peer issues, etc.  I'd also suggest some possible mental health issues may be at play here.  I only suggest that because you mentioned the acting out behavior and emotional breakdowns which sounds a bit like my step-daughter who has been diagnosed as bi-polar among other things. I find it curious that she planned ahead by taking the poison and carried it for some time to church, then chose to do it in a public setting.  If planning ahead, why not just plan a time and place to do it without interference?  So to me, that suggests a cry for help.  She either consciously or subconsciously put herself in the position where help was available.  So that is a good sign that suggests she didn't want to be successful.  The several experiences I've had with folks attempting suicide were all where the person was alone at the time, and most of them used a gun so that no help could be rendered.  It is really a sad situation when one gets to that point where suicide appears to be a reasonable solution.

[Fudd]

I am so thankful that this story didn't end in an unfathomable tragedy.  That said, it's not over, it's just the begining.  I hope your niece is receiptive to those who are trying to help her.  She can get through this, and find some balance in her life that will lead to an inner happiness, if she tries.

[Valkernaut]

Back when I was young and thought I had to be in church anytime the doors were unlocked(?), they told me that , if we took our own life, we would go straight to hell(back when I believed such propaganda....) Now that I am old and don't go to church and don't much drink th' coolaid anymore - we don't take our kids to Sunday school any more.  I'm 'just sayin'! Maybe it was a good thing. I'm still here waitin' to complete my 78th year.... 

Jim

[Karen]

Gary, sorry to hear this, but glad the outcome is so far, so good. Self worth is a huge issue; at that age, you can feel like if a certain person doesn't value you, then you must not be worth anything. I lost a friend to suicide forty years ago, and never understood why she did it. She seemed to be happy, seemed to have everything, but she stood on a chair and hung herself in her apartment. None of us had a clue. As others have said, an unsuccessful attempt can be a really loud cry for help. I know you'll find the strength to get through this.

[Psychotic Bovine]

I am so glad she survived. Prayers are with you.
As was said, the reasons for suicide are many.  It could be chronic depression (I have quite a bit of personal experience with this) that severe stress triggered the urge to commit suicide.  My 2 cents is that many young people just think that it's not worth it to go on.   Their whole "world" is defined by a few peers.... and you know what?  Those few peers have the same "issues".  She needs to look at the big picture, in 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade, will any of that petty crap matter?
I hope and pray, in time, she realizes that the only hard day was yesterday.   With each tomorrow to look towards, hope springs eternal.

[FloridaValkRyder]

I , likewise, an sorry to hear this Gary. As Willow said, and I believe it, suicide seems to be about anger. I was a Fireman/Paramedic for 28 years and have seen so many of these both successful and not. There always seemed to be a theme. confirmed by the "note" if one was left, about how angry they were with no hope of getting over it. This is what gets them to that point where their brain won't over ride the desire to hurt someone, usually themselves. Does it seem that this has become pretty common among the younger generation? It does to me. May God watch over her and your family. Be there for her like you have and we, well, most of us, pray for her physical and mental recovery.

[Chattanooga Mark]

Suicide is a demonic spirit that simply over powers some people. It may also be the most selfish act a person can do. So glad her attempt at suicide failed. Love her, care for her and lead her to a path of recovery. It's one step, not twelve. Sadly, you simply cannot help the unwilling as they'll resent you and you'll become increasingly frustrated. Love on her and show her that she matters.

Prayers from Chicago for her and the extended family,

Mark

[Robert]

There is a spirit of depression also, if you watch the movies you will hear about legion/Many. Well when one event happens in a persons life they decide that they may not be able to handle it or that the one talking in their ear usually depression has some good ideas. So by their own will they allow and follow this spirit of depression to lead them to others that lead them to do things that are self destructive. When we are young we do come to a time of accountability. A time when we have the authority in ourselves to be accountable for the decisions we make. This is why we need parents and good influences around us to help us understand the negative without having to pay the price. Your niece has been depressed for along time and it is still with her. She needs help to understand that there is hope and love and she can have a successful life. That she is not helpless to effect change in her life and that good does overpower evil.

  To Mark
knowing the things that influence a persons life and making uncaring statements is worse sometimes than the problem itself. Suicide is not a selfish act especially under the circumstances you are describing. You make things hard and cold and non caring in one statement. If you truly believe what you wrote then you will understand that we all make wrong choices and sometimes don't realize exactly why they are wrong. With this kind of influence that you describe, maybe the only real friend this girl has known, she was in a constant struggle with life itself, with very little understanding or help. A very tiring helpless position. If you have compassion and read your Bible then you will understand that when people take their own life they are not in their right mind almost insane. As the demoniac that Jesus healed. Their is also a spirit of discernment that needs to be working in peoples lives who want to help to let them know which spirit is at work in the affected persons life. I think you could benefit from reading Pigs in the Parlor or Placebo to help you get a better understanding of not only the grief that this one statement could bring to others, but also the workings of spirits. Along with the love that Jesus had to all who were suffering. Knowledge without compassion is useless or as Jesus said without love we are a clanging symbol or banging gong. I have done the same thing till the Lord allowed me to see the hurt,despair,and desperation that grips those that are in this situation.

[WDAN]

Young people have very little life experience, therefore, in their minds, sometimes, something overwhelms them to the point that they think they cannot deal with it at all (of course, I am referring to the more emotionally unstable)
As we get older and have more unpleasant experiences, we learn that we can handle most anything thrown at us and these things always pass.

[Michael K (Az.)]

Sadly,this young one isn't the only victim here. I remember the tale of dropping a pebble in a still lake and watching how many ripples are produced. That's all the people that are affected by such an action. Just look at us as an example.

[G-Man]

You are all so very right and your thoughs and well wishes are greatly appreciated.

Love to all!

[alph]

smok'n joe helped save a life.  a girl named Amanda i believe.  joe had posted a picture of her in her car, gave me the chills 'cause she was wearing a scarf that was EXACTLY like one we had just given to our daughter who's the same age as amanda.  amanda did survive, hopefully she's doing well.

i only met joe once, for about 30 seconds, but i'm extremely proud of what he did and i'm hoping that someday i'll be honored to share some wind with him.

have you hugged your child today?  (i'll confes, they were off to school before i woke up but i will tonight)