Well, my wife is done with riding.

[Alien]

Yesterday, Rebecca and I had a heart to heart and she told me that she doesn't want to ride anymore.  While she's physicaly comfortable on the Valk, she just does not enjoy the act of riding itself. 

She thought I would be dissapointed but, frankly, I couldn't be happier.  Although I've been riding almost daily for over 20 years, knowing that I was responsable for her life always took the joy out of the ride for me.  When I'm alone the ride is never long enough but when she's with me I'm always relieved to get off the bike with her in one piece.  I can and do accept the risks that come with riding for myself and I've gone down hard before, but I could not live with myself if any harm came to her.

Does anyone else feel this way about your SO riding with you?

So from now on I ride alone but I do so knowing that there is a beautiful woman waiting for me safe at home.

Ride Safe,

Scott

[Bronson]

Hi: I read your post with some interest. I went down this spring in Tenn. with my wife on behind me. Fortunately the speed was not great and I was able to slow alot before going down. I broke an ankle. Since she was behind, she fell on me and was not hurt. What a relief!
She has her own bike but we were not able to transport all the bikes needed on this trip and so she rode with me. I feel the same weight of responsibility when riding with her on back that you talked about. When she rides her own with me I enjoy riding so much more because that responsibilty is somewhat shifted. Maybe your SO would like her own bike. For me that is the best solution because I love to spend time with her and travel together as much as possible. Hope things work out how you like.

Bronson

[Russell Rice]

My wife said she liked riding with me on the Valkyrie. We road 2 up for some years then she said that she would like her own bike. We bought her a 750 Shadow and we road togather for about a year then she just lost intrest in it. SHe will ride with me when I kinda force the issue and that is not many times. She just lost intrest in riding all togather. I am ok with that because it is more enjoyable when it's just me and my buddies. She has never said anything about me riding with out her and seems to be ok with that. I have talked to her about it many times just to make sure that I will have a wife when I get home.....lol

[boss hoss bill]

My wife gave up riding with me about 10 years ago.
We were coming back from a ride on the Boss Hoss and she gently fell into me saying she had a migraine and needed off right away. 

She had previously got a migraine riding with me about a month before. So after this being the second one, she said she was done.
She was a great passenger and rode with me for 30 years. When I worked afternoons, I would come home about 1am and we'd go ride then.
We loved it, little traffic and cooler to boot. We'd ride for hours and then she'd go to work days with a few hours sleep.
I would have the luxury of sleeping until mid morning and felt great!
We were lucky in that we never crashed, all this living in Miami!

I always preferred riding alone, so I could ride the way I preferred. I toned it down when she rode with me.

She misses riding but she's done. I may join her in a few years, but for now, I enjoy hanging with my buddies solo and riding unencumbered.

[MacDragon]

My wife also will not ride.  I have gotten her to ride a few times but she just didn't like it.  The last time she rode, I asked her to take a ride out in the country with me and stop at a friends house for a BBQ... She, reluctantly said she'd try it again.  after a mile up the road, she leaned forward and said, "I'm not having fun" I said "ok" ... turned around and brought her home.  I went on with my journey.  She is just fine with me taking rides and has no complaints.  She just doesn't enjoy it for herself.  I have 2 bikes.  The Ace is set up as a solo seater already with a rear fender rack.  The Valk may go that route also... haven't decided yet.

Incidently... I also feel some relief that I am the only person I am responsible for in a fall as well.  It would kill me to have someone else hurt while riding with me ... my fault or not.

[Gryphon Rider]

My wife rides with me occasionally, and when she does, we both enjoy it.  I don't think I've ever felt extra stress from concerns about her safety, although it does add a little stress when she's uncomfortable, cold, etc., as I want it to be a fun experience for her.  I am a confident and safety-aware rider and love to share the experience.  The time I do get stressed, however, is when I'm leading a group ride with other riders who don't have what I would consider to be a base-line level of confidence and awareness.

[Daniel Meyer]

Does anyone else feel this way about your SO riding with you?

Yes.

[solo1]

My wife rode with me one time back in 1954 on a new AJS 500 Twin. Even tho I took it very easy (it was her first ride), she never got on again.  That's why I'm Solo1.

Since she's gone now I have mixed emotions about it.  It would've been nice to have her ride with me but the added responsibility and the sinking feeling if she ever got hurt, maybe it was just as well that she didn't.

[f6john]

   I made the decision for my wife last year. Turned the bike into a solo ride. Judy enjoyed an occasional ride of an hour or two but traveling on the bike was never an option. She would not miss it if I sold the Valk so I imagine she is somewhat relieved that I made the choice. Her own bike, not even a thought, no interest there at all. I bought a Corvette as a fun travel/weekend run car when we both want to do something together. Her interests are more at home and wishing for grandkids. I spent the past few months on putting this little addition in the basement and she is as happy as a kid with a new toy.

Started with stud walls and a tile floor


Some drywall and grout


Reused some old cabinets from the upstairs kitchen


Had to put in a bigger breaker box too


Had to have natural stone and glass backsplash


Had to do something with this space


99% done needing crown mould and a little baseboard




Had to have mood lighting too



I thought I would be good for a long time but now i have to put in a bathroom in the basement too. Leverage for more goodies for the Valk and the Vette

[mario]

tj had bikes since we met when i was 19.  i would ride with him and enjoyed it ok, but it wasn't a blast for me like it is riding my own bike.  i did recently ride with him on his nomad we had, to pick up my bike that was having work done, and i have to say for that hour and a half jaunt, i really enjoyed it.  but to make that routine, it would bore me to tears.
and guys, for those of you who have wives pushing the mid-century mark and around there 'bouts, our hormones are a rockin'.  some days, i'm sure, your wife may be good to ride, and other days she may not be and she may not even know why.  please be patient with her.  your wives love you much but some days we can't help our bi-otchy selves--and we hate feeling that way.  
i will on occasion get migraines while riding myself, and keep aleve on hand and pop a couple when i feel it coming on.  sometimes it can be just the weather pattern coming in that will cause it...sometimes not.
anyway, i hope this helps a bit and i know it's off the main topic.

[Grumpy]

Mine rode with me for many years, went on a lot of cross country ventures. About 6 years ago, said she did not want to ride any more, said her arthritis bothered her on the bike.  Tried to get her back several times, just does not want to ride. So I make the long trips solo, some times she complains that she does not get to go some of the places, and I suggest riding again. Still a no go.

[Gilligan]

Navigator and I rode 2-up for 43 years.  We gave it up in 2009, after 10 great years on the Valkyrie Interstate, the best bike we ever rode.  The real reason = At age 65 I began having trouble handling the 1210 + pounds of the Valk with us and our gear at parking lot speeds.  I dropped it on us in a parking lot on the Canadian Icefields Parkway.  At that point, I realized that my decreasing ability might cause serious injury or worse to Navigator.

We have always ridden together.  We have many, wonderful memories.  I could never enjoy riding alone ... so we quit riding and sold the Valk.

Your question is an excellent one.  The final answer for all of us includes our concern for our SOs.

[Rocketman]

I love having my wife back there.  She loves coming along, we just don't get to very often.  Maybe I'm a cad, but I don't worry too much about her back there.  She's told me over and over again that I'm the safest rider she's ridden with, so I guess I leave that decision up to her.  Whenever I've had close calls with her on the back, my first thought is about her, but it's not an overriding concern.  She's happy to get back on after the close calls, so I think we're good.
That being said, I would NOT feel better if she was on her own.  I'd actually feel worse.  I'm in control when she's with me.  She would be in control if she was on her own.  I like it the first way.  I would rather have all the control and all the responsibility rather than make her take the responsibility.

Mark

[bscrive]

My wife and I have ridden together for over 25 years.  She loves to be a passenger but has started feeling like she would like her own bike.  She finally decided that a Spyder would be a great ride for her and we are in the process of finding a nice semi-automatic one for her.  If she gets tired of riding the Spyder we will then just sell it and she will hop back on with me.  I don't feel the added responsibility of her on the back.  If something happens we will worry about it then.  No use worrying about things that may never happen, you will just go crazy for nothing.

[fudgie]

Navigator and I rode 2-up for 43 years.  We gave it up in 2009, after 10 great years on the Valkyrie Interstate, the best bike we ever rode.  The real reason = At age 65 I began having trouble handling the 1210 + pounds of the Valk with us and our gear at parking lot speeds.  I dropped it on us in a parking lot on the Canadian Icefields Parkway.  At that point, I realized that my decreasing ability might cause serious injury or worse to Navigator.

We have always ridden together.  We have many, wonderful memories.  I could never enjoy riding alone ... so we quit riding and sold the Valk.

Your question is an excellent one.  The final answer for all of us includes our concern for our SOs.

You guys have always been a good inspiration for us 2 up riders. 

[fudgie]

I'm going with a little different answer then the rest. I never had a concern for her safety.  Its not that I did not care about it, to me it was about the ride together, doing something we love. I do ride 'safe' but like to play also. She is usually the go fast kinda girl. The 50,000+ miles and 15 States (I think) in 6 yrs together meant alot. She got a bike this year, a loaner. She has not ridden in a few months on the back of the Valk. I really miss it. But Love seeing her ride beside me on the road.

Now my work wife, I am concerned about. She has a 2 yr old at home so I am alot more cautious with her.

[Gilligan]

I'm going with a little different answer then the rest. I never had a concern for her safety.  Its not that I did not care about it, to me it was about the ride together, doing something we love. I do ride 'safe' but like to play also. She is usually the go fast kinda girl. The 50,000+ miles and 15 States (I think) in 6 yrs together meant alot. She got a bike this year, a loaner. She has not ridden in a few months on the back of the Valk. I really miss it. But Love seeing her ride beside me on the road.  Now my work wife, I am concerned about. She has a 2 yr old at home so I am alot more cautious with her.

Very well said, Fudgie.  I couldn't agree more.  You two have the best of both worlds.  Keep on ... and "Ride Safe."

[Jess Tolbirt]

my bike very seldom leaves the driveway without Bev on the back, she would rather ride than eat,,,when i get home from work and she has her pony tail leather thingy on I know we are going for a ride,,i never worry about her safety back there and i cant imagine riding on a trip with out her,,, i will on occasion ride to work by myself but most of the time the bike is moving its with the both of us on it,,

[wobray]

My wife and I decided not to orphan our only child with one accident..

[czuch]

Tammy loves to ride with me. I'm blessed, big time.
 We tossed the idea of her own bike, I have an 1100 ACE I bought for my daughter.
Tam started on the 150 to get the idea of controls and said she's rather sit in back and watch.
I told her it was a relief because I'd worry too much about her on her own.
AND, yea, I'm responsible and concerned about her safety. I mean, who'd take care of me??

[BigAl]

My wife hardly rides and when she does its for a short one.

We have 3 dogs, 3 cats, and a bird.

Someone has to stay behind to care for them and they need at least one of us to care for them if one of us kicks.

Good logic I think.

[shooter64]

My wife says she is as likely to get on "that thing" as she is the space shuttle.

[Gear Jammer]

Mine rides with me, although less than enthusiastically at times.      After I drag her to and back from Arkansas in July, she may be even less enthusiastic   

[Stanley Steamer]

Nope.......the Wife doesn't ride with me.........my old squeeze Mercedez rode with me once.....but she was scared of the hot pipes!!.......

[cookiedough]

Stanley Steamer:  One of a kind for sure.

Wife rides with me but only only shorter trips 200 miles on down which is most of my riding anyways, but doesn't like the wind or heat or cold and is not as tolerant as me when it comes to inclement weather she being a fair weather rider mostly.  Above 90, below 60, or 20 mph+ winds and she stays home for sure.

[Toledo Mark]

Bought my bike new in 1999 and my wife has never ridden with me.  I have taken two passengers for a total of about 10 miles in that time.  I flipped the bike to solo about 6 years ago.  I, like others here do not want to be responsible for injuring a passenger.  My wife has no problem with me riding and knows it is good therapy for me.  I usually take a vaction myself on the bike and then several with her throughout the year.  She is happy with that.

[ValkFlyer]

I ride to work daily so when I ride for more than just the pleasure of the ride to work I like to include my wife.  It’s important to me to make it as pleasurable an experience for her as I know it will be for me.  Timely stops, even though I may not need to, and including areas that I know we will “both” enjoy, places I know that she might want to stop and look around are a priority instead of pushing through the miles.  I put her comfort above mine so if we’re riding in hot weather I’m sure to have her in the right gear and I’m making more stops for something to help her cool down.  If it’s cold she will be dressed appropriately.  Bottom line, when I make my wife the priority she goes out of her way to return the favor. 

It’s interesting we’ve been riding together for 37 years now, and during that time we’ve had our far share of spills and close calls, yet it’s never slowed either of us down.  Having said that I will without hesitation stop when I can no longer ride safely for all concerned….

Do I feel responsible for her when she’s on the back?  Yes, but no more than I do in carrying out my role as her husband, and father to our now grown children.  Those of you who are not believers may not agree, and that’s your prerogative…..but my wife and I believe that there is an appointed time for “all things”.  Whether both or I alone are on the bike, in the car, walking, or sleeping in bed, when that time is here it’s here.  If my wife is with me and it’s her appointed time then it’s her time, if not…well then God may very well have a new trail …..or better, adventure in store for her. 

[mario]

I ride to work daily so when I ride for more than just the pleasure of the ride to work I like to include my wife.  It’s important to me to make it as pleasurable an experience for her as I know it will be for me.  Timely stops, even though I may not need to, and including areas that I know we will “both” enjoy, places I know that she might want to stop and look around are a priority instead of pushing through the miles.  I put her comfort above mine so if we’re riding in hot weather I’m sure to have her in the right gear and I’m making more stops for something to help her cool down.  If it’s cold she will be dressed appropriately.  Bottom line, when I make my wife the priority she goes out of her way to return the favor. 

It’s interesting we’ve been riding together for 37 years now, and during that time we’ve had our far share of spills and close calls, yet it’s never slowed either of us down.  Having said that I will without hesitation stop when I can no longer ride safely for all concerned….

Do I feel responsible for her when she’s on the back?  Yes, but no more than I do in carrying out my role as her husband, and father to our now grown children.  Those of you who are not believers may not agree, and that’s your prerogative…..but my wife and I believe that there is an appointed time for “all things”.  Whether both or I alone are on the bike, in the car, walking, or sleeping in bed, when that time is here it’s here.  If my wife is with me and it’s her appointed time then it’s her time, if not…well then God may very well have a new trail …..or better, adventure in store for her. 

well said.   

[hotglue #43]

FB would ride with me 2 up anywhere.. any time.
  If I cranked up the bike, she would grab her helmet and be ready to go!!!!
1200 mile days... no problem....
  Now she has he own bike, a Spyder!!!!
  and I watch her in the miror, almost as much as I watch the road....  
But she has come into her own, and is loving every moment on the Spyder!!!!
  She has had it just a month over 2 years, and has 39000 miles, and 40 states on HER bike!!!!
  I miss her setting behind me, and reaching back and feeling her there... But I enjoy her Loving her ride!!!!!
  FB's favorite 'line' was ....HG loves himself so much, he will not let anything happen to him or me while we are riding....
  I don't know if that's good or bad....

[Super Santa]

I bought my 2000 Interstate just about 5 years ago thinking that my wife would again ride with me, being a larger, more comfortable bike than my 1984 Magna.

Shortly after getting it I did get her to ride to lunch one day, about 10 miles.  While riding I turned my head and asked her if the bike was O.K. and her answer really surprised me.  She stated that the bike was fine, but she just didn't share my passion for riding.

Married over 40 years and kids grown now and we have this revelation.  Before we were married, she was always riding with me.  Maybe she was just trying to catch me.

Oh, well, I have now put over 100,000 miles on the bike alone in less than 5 years.  Riding while I can and enjoying this beautiful country.

[Stanley Steamer]

Bought my bike new in 1999 and my wife has never ridden with me.  I have taken two passengers for a total of about 10 miles in that time.  I flipped the bike to solo about 6 years ago.  I, like others here do not want to be responsible for injuring a passenger.  My wife has no problem with me riding and knows it is good therapy for me.  I usually take a vaction myself on the bike and then several with her throughout the year.  She is happy with that.

Pretty much exactly my situation......

[Jess from VA]

No back seaters, thanks.

Had a wife that used to go and that was fine, but I've always preferred solo.

If I want to hear talking while riding, I play the radio.  

[KSDragonRider]

Shay rides with me during the summer. I do worry about her and ride very different with her on than with out her.   However she loves to ride, is a great rider, and i enjoy having her with me on every ride.

The one issue i have with Shay is riding gear.  She wants a tank top, jeans and boots... I kinda force the helmet thing, and wish she would wear a jacket and gloves.   I have been in a couple spills, and i really dislike the road rash on me.  I never want to see her healing from rash.

[john]

my sugar enjoyed the short ride ...           
with her back fusion ...     
i took her seat off                     

[Paxton]

"Married over 40 years and kids grown now and we have this revelation.  Before we were married, she was always riding with me..."
Same here and frankly my dear... err... it pissed me off!    Then I regained consciousness...

[Alien]

As far as getting Rebecca her own bike...well, she possesses many many fine traits but balance and coordination are not among them.  We almost landed in the cake at our wedding.

We still do everything else together, camping, 4 wheeling, playing with hot rods, remodeling the house, getting ready to adopt a child, etc.. and she has zero problems with me taking off for a ride whenever I like. 

On a personal note, besides the added responsibility, I've never liked the way a bike handles with a passenger.