A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.
"Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady.
"You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
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Hmmmm.....I live on a golf course!

Reminds me of a few years ago. A couple roughly in their 60's stopped about 25' outside our pool screen. It was her ball that rested there, so while she staggered about getting her club and trying to hit it, her husband staggered out behind the cart and proceeded to relieve himself. I yelled at him, told him there were children watching, he said he didn't care and continued. Whereupon I reached for the hose we have coiled up back by the pool, turned it on full blast and proceeded to "water the fairway grass." I got both him and his drunken wife, they seemed a bit irritated, but afterward I called the pro-shop and gave them the cart number and a description of the pair. I understand they were club members and had their memberships pulled. Grass out there looks pretty good too.
