Drinking with Texas Girls

[Duct Tape]

A  Mexican, an Arab, and a   Texas girl are in the same bar.
When the  Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass  to pieces.  He says, 'In  Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't  need to drink with the same one twice.'
The  Arab,
obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer(cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.  He says, 'In  the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't  need to drink with the same one twice either.'

 
The Texas  girl,
 cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.  Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and  calling for a refill, she says,
'In Texas  we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the  same ones twice.'   
 God Bless  Texas
 
Yeeha ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[f6john]

   She must be a republican too.

[HayHauler]

Why, because she has a gun and knows how to use it?

Hay 
Jimmyt

[Stanley Steamer]

that right there is FUNNY!!.....

[f6john]

Why, because she has a gun and knows how to use it?

Hay 
Jimmyt

 Not really, if she were a democrat she would be signing them up for welfare and free heath care instead of shooting them!    Hey this is a joke right?

[Jean the Black Wolf]

 
excellent joke 

[Sharkey]

Why, because she has a gun and knows how to use it?

Hay 
Jimmyt

 Not really, if she were a democrat she would be signing them up for welfare and free heath care instead of shooting them!    Hey this is a joke right?

That was better than the joke  ROTFL

[Madmike]

A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks,  "Is your date running late?" 

 
"No", he replies,

 
"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

 
The intrigued woman says, "a state-of-the-art watch?"

 
"What's so special about it?"

 
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

 
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?

 
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.

 
"The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

 
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says,

 
"Damn thing's an hour fast."

[x]

A  Mexican, an Arab, and a   Texas girl are in the same bar.
When the  Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass  to pieces.  He says, 'In  Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't  need to drink with the same one twice.'
The  Arab,
obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer(cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.  He says, 'In  the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't  need to drink with the same one twice either.'

 
The Texas  girl,
 cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.  Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and  calling for a refill, she says,
'In Texas  we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the  same ones twice.'   
 God Bless  Texas
 
Yeeha ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

How did she know they were illegal?

[f6john]

A  Mexican, an Arab, and a   Texas girl are in the same bar.
When the  Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass  to pieces.  He says, 'In  Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't  need to drink with the same one twice.'
The  Arab,
obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer(cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.  He says, 'In  the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't  need to drink with the same one twice either.'

 
The Texas  girl,
 cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.  Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and  calling for a refill, she says,
'In Texas  we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the  same ones twice.'   
 God Bless  Texas
 
Yeeha ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

How did she know they were illegal?

 Probably just playing the odds.

[QOTFU]

...and a poorly done photoshop at that

[Duct Tape]

...Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and  calling for a refill, she says,
'In Texas  we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the  same ones twice.'   
 God Bless  Texas
 
Yeeha ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

How did she know they were illegal?

I suppose I can explain it for you Strong Eagle...It's not a news story in the Houston Chronicle...It's a J O K E.  She knows they were illegal because it's a J O K E.  Got it yet?  I've got both Mexican and Arab friends that get it, and think it's funny.  It's funny because there is a huge degree of truth to the punch line.  Even Mexican's and Arab's understand that.

[Duct Tape]

Why, because she has a gun and knows how to use it?

Hay 
Jimmyt

 Not really, if she were a democrat she would be signing them up for welfare and free heath care instead of shooting them!    Hey this is a joke right?

That was better than the joke  ROTFL

That's no joke though.  But, on the way to signing them up for welfare and free healthcare she'd get them to fill out voter registration cards for themselves and most of their family (dead or living).

[Duct Tape]

A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks,  "Is your date running late?" 

 
"No", he replies,

 
"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

 
The intrigued woman says, "a state-of-the-art watch?"

 
"What's so special about it?"

 
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

 
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?

 
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.

 
"The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

 
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says,

 
"Damn thing's an hour fast."

Okay, okay...this is political because...uh... you see...uh...she is obviously republican...because uh.... if she was uh, uh... you know... if she was democrat... she uh...uh would not have talked to the cowboy anyway... because she uh, uh you know ...would have been a lesbian

[junior]

you say lesbian like its a bad thing..................................

[fudgie]

you say lesbian like its a bad thing..................................

  

[Stanley Steamer]

you say lesbian like its a bad thing..................................

Does that mean that I'm a bad thing??..... .... ... ...

[mikeb]

you say lesbian like its a bad thing..................................

if ya can't lick em ..joint em