I know what I'd yell at a soccer match.
Would someone please score a goal!!!! Anyone???
Like watching Nascar ... Somebody, PLEASE turn Right...anyone??

I enjoy watching soccer at most levels. It's not always about how many goals are scored. Kinda like fishing...catch a fish every cast and you get bored and you're done in a couple hours. Near misses and the anticipation of hooking into one every now and then will keep you on the river all day .
This year marks my 58th year of playing organized soccer, now in an over 60's league. Now, I'd have to agree with you here Jess, watching one of my games would (and should) be the furthest thing from anyone's mind
