csj
Member
Posts: 992
I used to be a wolfboy, but I'm alright NOOOOOWWWW
Peterborough Ontario Canada
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« on: May 17, 2018, 09:21:09 AM » |
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In the lunch room last week. 1st guy gets a phone call. Before he answers, second guy says "it's his wife, musta missed her period". A low giggle from the peanut gallery. I wise cracked 'If you miss your period, the sentence continues'. Third guy pipes up "Sentence? Living with my wife, i've served my time, LET ME OUT.
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A guy called me a Ba$tard, I said in my case it's an accident
of birth, in your case you're a self made man.
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baldo
Member
Posts: 6961
Youbetcha
Cape Cod, MA
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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 11:36:30 AM » |
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In the lunch room last week. 1st guy gets a phone call. Before he answers, second guy says "it's his wife, musta missed her period". A low giggle from the peanut gallery. I wise cracked 'If you miss your period, the sentence continues'. Third guy pipes up "Sentence? Living with my wife, i've served my time, LET ME OUT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI |
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Serk
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« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2018, 12:04:11 PM » |
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(Old copypasta is old, but good)
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.64." The boss says, "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15323
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2018, 12:29:26 PM » |
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(Old copypasta is old, but good)
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.64." The boss says, "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI  Heard it before and still get a chuckle out of it. |
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BobB
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« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2018, 12:49:54 PM » |
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I told a much longer version of that joke about 40 years ago to five other guys (all married) in a van heading to the Boundry Waters Canoe Area on a fishing trip. The young man in the joke had a lisp and the joke was really dragged out. Everyone in the van just about split a gut, and the punch line was repeated dozens of times over the next several days...
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Willow
Administrator
Member
Posts: 16759
Excessive comfort breeds weakness. PttP
Olathe, KS
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« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2018, 01:34:38 PM » |
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In time the period issue will go away.  If you fellas think that will solve the communication and interaction issues between the husband and wife I have some bad news.  |
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old2soon
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« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2018, 02:43:14 PM » |
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When the 2nd ex was still here along with my 2 Daughters and when my Youngest started her monthlys the-2nd ex and both Daughters got synced up. IF the now 2nd ex gave me a heads up I stayed out anudder week. Three women at "that" time of month at the same time-Not Only NO but Hell NO!  Sides I had a double wide walk in sleeper T V and a fridge. RIDE SAFE. |
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15323
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2018, 03:57:27 PM » |
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When the 2nd ex was still here along with my 2 Daughters and when my Youngest started her monthlys the-2nd ex and both Daughters got synced up. IF the now 2nd ex gave me a heads up I stayed out anudder week. Three women at "that" time of month at the same time-Not Only NO but Hell NO! Sides I had a double wide walk in sleeper T V and a fridge. RIDE SAFE. Dennis, tell me about it.....me, with four daughters and the wife. That tribal sync thing can be a real bummer. |
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