Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« on: May 24, 2018, 03:29:51 AM » |
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Yesterday evening I was in the garage picking stuff up after a project I was working on. The neighbor girls (8 & 12) wanted to know if our boys could go jump on the trampoline. So off all 4 went to the trampoline. Maybe 15 minutes later the come back with another neighbor girl. She is 5. I give them all a popsicle and off they go again. Another 15 minutes and all I hear is yelling and cursing coming from the 5 year old girls dad. I run over there and asked him what in the hell he is yelling at. Turns out my 4 year old was trying to help his daughter off the trampoline and she slipped and fell 6 inches. He accused my boys of pushing her. So instead of being an adult and coming to find me or my wife he decides to throw down about 10 f bombs and tells them to go home. He is a big guy and when I yelled at him and told him to be an adult and quit being a douche, I. Would tell from his facial expressions he was not use to people standing up to him. He kept telling me "you better just go on home mother Fer" which I would reply, or What? What is your big dumb ass going to do? This is the neighbor I go out of my way to do thing for. Replaced their electrical panel because they didn't have 1500 by me to do it, which I did it for free, just cost them 200 bucks for the parts. They use my mower nearly weekly because theirs is broke. But guess What? No more being Mr nice guy.
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Robert
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« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2018, 03:38:16 AM » |
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Not a good situation and you did well but I would not be so quick to stop my goodwill. People like this need help and sometimes will come to their senses and understand they made a mistake. I cant tell you how many times I had a confrontation with someone and they became really good friends. To make a war on both sides with a neighbor is tense at best and a war at worst and not the people we are in our hearts. Really, not worth it in the scheme of things. Let things die down and be the good neighbor you have always been and were in that situation. Sometimes standing up to someone is exactly what they may need. If they had no issues they would not have been in the position of needing the help, like with the panel and not everyone knows how to handle a situation. Congrats at not loosing your cool and doing the right thing.  In time you may find out that you are more needed by this family than ever could have been imagined. 1Pe 3:9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. I dont say this without some experience and some missed opportunities either.  |
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« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 03:48:26 AM by Robert »
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“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2018, 04:42:36 AM » |
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Nope I'm not that way. Once someone tells me to never speak to them again and they don't need me as a friend I'm done with them. I definitely don't need that kind of language and attitude around my kids. I told him he just proved to be a stupid white trash recheck. Who yells and screams at little kids like that? Then his fat wife came and tried to make excuses for him. Oh he is in a bad mood, just leave him alone. At one point he threatened to kick my ass, I laughed and invited him to try. All he has is is mouth. My good will just ran out.
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Robert
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« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2018, 04:50:45 AM » |
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I certainly understand and its your choice. The wife knew that it wasn't right, try not to hold it against him and his anger, maybe he will have learned a lesson and maybe he will not know how to make amends. Just don't shut the door.
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“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
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BobB
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« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2018, 05:06:29 AM » |
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Relationships with neighbors can be testy. I guess we are lucky. My lawn needed to be mowed for the first time this spring while I was still in the hospital. My neighbor, Joe, mowed it with his rider, no small thing, our lawn is about an acre...
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2018, 05:12:20 AM » |
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Relationships with neighbors can be testy. I guess we are lucky. My lawn needed to be mowed for the first time this spring while I was still in the hospital. My neighbor, Joe, mowed it with his rider, no small thing, our lawn is about an acre...
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Hooter
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« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2018, 05:31:32 AM » |
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You did better than I would have. I never did, and nobody else would treat my kids like that without an adjustment, neighbor or otherwise. Wouldn't happen then in front of the kids, but it would happen. What's this guy do to his own family when he is having a "bad day"? By the sounds of it, it's a common occurrence. Not to say his bad day was probably heard by anyone within ear shot. Great example for his young kids.
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You are never lost if you don't care where you are!
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2018, 06:08:59 AM » |
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You did better than I would have. I never did, and nobody else would treat my kids like that without an adjustment, neighbor or otherwise. Wouldn't happen then in front of the kids, but it would happen. What's this guy do to his own family when he is having a "bad day"? By the sounds of it, it's a common occurrence. Not to say his bad day was probably heard by anyone within ear shot. Great example for his young kids.
Exactly, he has always been a hot head and I go out of my way to avoid causing him to go off the rails but when he was screaming at my kids he saw my true colors. He acted surprised I yelled back at him. |
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Serk
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« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2018, 06:19:56 AM » |
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Sometimes I lament that I don't know my neighbors, just give 'em a casual wave on the rare occasion I actually see one of 'em, have extremely brief chats at most once a year while we're trick or treating or when they are to our house.
.....and then sometimes I see that situation might be a blessing in disguise.
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2018, 06:23:06 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
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phideux
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« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2018, 06:43:02 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
Actually you are punishing his daughter, don't un-invite the kid because the Dad is a dick. |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2018, 07:06:25 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
Actually you are punishing his daughter, don't un-invite the kid because the Dad is a dick. that girl is going to need all the good role models she can get. |
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Serk
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« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2018, 07:22:59 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
Actually you are punishing his daughter, don't un-invite the kid because the Dad is a dick. that girl is going to need all the good role models she can get. I agree it would be nice to be able to include the girl, she's just a kid and all, but if the father has reacted in a negative manner, it makes sense to cut off all contact with the family to avoid a future confrontation, one that could escalate beyond words. I.E. I don't see this as him punishing the girl, I see this as him avoiding a possible confrontation. Sad that it comes to that, but understandable. |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2018, 07:56:57 AM » |
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I would invite that little girl over and be the Dad she does not have.
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 VRCC # 24157 |
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« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2018, 08:07:04 AM » |
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I would invite that little girl over and be the Dad she does not have.
And feed her so much food she goes home and throws up  |
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Gryphon Rider
Member
Posts: 5232
2000 Tourer
Calgary, Alberta
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« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2018, 08:15:29 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
Keep them invited, but have the parents sign a comprehensive waiver first. |
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15323
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #17 on: May 24, 2018, 10:07:09 AM » |
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I would invite that little girl over and be the Dad she does not have.
And feed her so much food she goes home and throws up Great idea, works even better if it's hot out. Let her get all red faced and sweaty first.  Probably not a good idea really, but I'm pulled to two directions on the original problem. I agree with Gavin re. standing up to the jerk and pulling back on the perks, but also see Robert's approach as well. I'd probably let things quiet down, go about my life and see what develops. If he says anything about it down the road, I'd make it very plain that such demonstrations are not to ever happen again. You have an issue, come talk to me but don't yell at the kids. |
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98valk
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« Reply #18 on: May 24, 2018, 10:17:30 AM » |
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GS avoid him. don't let his daughter over. anything that happens to her he will call the cops and sue u. big clue is lawn mower breaks and he doesn't fix it or get a new one in a week? he's a user and abuser. watch your shadow my friend.
scripture wise most about neighbors are actually written for when both are believers in Christ/God. there are others about enemies and how to treat them.
God Bless and May God have His protection and favor on u and the family.
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1998 Std/Tourer, 2007 DR200SE, 1981 CB900C 10speed
1973 Duster 340 4-speed rare A/C, 2001 F250 4x4 7.3L, 6sp
"Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the goverment of any other."
John Adams 10/11/1798
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97BLKVALK
Member
Posts: 640
VRCC#26021
Detroit Lakes, MN
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« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2018, 10:22:41 AM » |
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Relationships with neighbors can be testy. I guess we are lucky. My lawn needed to be mowed for the first time this spring while I was still in the hospital. My neighbor, Joe, mowed it with his rider, no small thing, our lawn is about an acre...
Good people do things for good people. Karma. Hope your healing well! Michael |
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All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
1997 GL1500C - Black
1997 GL1500C - Purple
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1998 GL1500C - Blue and Cream
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Oss
Member
Posts: 12762
The lower Hudson Valley
Ossining NY Chapter Rep VRCCDS0141
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« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2018, 11:56:47 AM » |
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Unless the neighbor mans up and apologizes he has burned the bridge not you
Someone insults my kid using foul language or threats, well that is it.
Let the dirtbag mow his own lawn and use his own tools
You lead by example, let him be a man and show his kids the humility of an apology before going out of your way again
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If you don't know where your going any road will take you there
George Harrison
When you come to the fork in the road, take it
Yogi Berra (Don't send it to me C.O.D.)
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2018, 12:39:45 PM » |
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Unless the neighbor mans up and apologizes he has burned the bridge not you
Someone insults my kid using foul language or threats, well that is it.
Let the dirtbag mow his own lawn and use his own tools
You lead by example, let him be a man and show his kids the humility of an apology before going out of your way again
Don't ever have to worry about an apology. He is white trash stupid redneck who always thinks he is right. Everyone else is stupid except for him. Same guy that left for Eldora dirt track race last year and left his wife and 2 kids without power. Thats when I replaced their whole breaker box just so they would have power. Instead of being without power for 4 days or more they were without for only 1 day. I have kept my cool with him for 10 years but as soon as he yelled, screamed and hollered curse words at my kids I came unglued. I have never really liked him to begin with, I just tolorated him because he is a neighbor. Guess thats another reason I need to get out of here and build on my parents property. |
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Willow
Administrator
Member
Posts: 16759
Excessive comfort breeds weakness. PttP
Olathe, KS
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« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2018, 06:29:07 PM » |
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Keeping your children out of his yard and away from his abuse is the responsible thing to do.
Keeping his child out of your yard is giving him more control than he deserves. Be a bigger man the is he. I believe you are. I know you're a better parent.
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2018, 02:15:27 AM » |
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Keeping your children out of his yard and away from his abuse is the responsible thing to do.
Keeping his child out of your yard is giving him more control than he deserves. Be a bigger man the is he. I believe you are. I know you're a better parent.
What if she gets hurt over here? Then he comes back and sues us. Something I'm not ok with. Not taking that chance so she stays in her yard with no one to play with. Myboys will continue to play with the next door neighbor girls. He drove by real slow last night like I was suppose to stop him. You act like a retarded monkey you will get treated as such. |
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cookiedough
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« Reply #24 on: May 25, 2018, 03:51:12 AM » |
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This guy is only punishing his daughter. Now she has no kids to play with. Next weekend Jase turns 5 and I ordered a huge jump house/ slide and they were invited but not after his blow up yesterday. I would hate for her to call down the slide, i mean he blew up over 6" i can't imagine what he would do about 15'
Keep them invited, but have the parents sign a comprehensive waiver first. good idea. I had a trampoline, but as you probably are aware, insurance companies do NOT insure liability if someone gets hurt on them since that is the first question insurance companies ask if you have a trampoline. I would be VERY leery of having ANYONE BESIDES FAMILY MEMBERS JUMP ON YOUR TRAMPOLINE or bouncy house, etc... especially the bad neighbor since a lawsuit might happen if her daughter gets hurt on YOUR property on trampoline or whatever. I would invite the daughter but ONLY if parents say o.k. but keep an eye on her and hopefully she does not get hurt. Neighbors are FUN aren't they, been there, done that twice on bad neighbors....  |
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Hooter
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« Reply #25 on: May 25, 2018, 04:30:46 AM » |
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I don't believe this guy is going to change. This is the way he has been and will be for ever. You just saw his true colors. Take care of and protect your own. There is probably more abuse there than anyone knows. His wife making excuses for him tends to show that. His driving by slow could have his way of intimidation. Ignore him, good luck.
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You are never lost if you don't care where you are!
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2018, 04:58:31 AM » |
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I don't believe this guy is going to change. This is the way he has been and will be for ever. You just saw his true colors. Take care of and protect your own. There is probably more abuse there than anyone knows. His wife making excuses for him tends to show that. His driving by slow could have his way of intimidation. Ignore him, good luck.
I don't get intimidated. I couldn't care less what he does in his home as long as he keeps my family out of it. That's ok, we have decided to expedite our home build to next spring so hopefully we will be out of that neighborhood within a year. |
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signart
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« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2018, 06:34:28 AM » |
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He'll get his soon enough, no need to dirty your hands. You stood tall against aggression, hold your head high and leave it at that.
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Pappy!
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« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2018, 06:47:11 AM » |
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Would agree with never doing anything else for the idiot until he mans up and gives you a full apology.
As far as the kids go? Don't punish them. Let them see the side of a good man and a fair man.
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2018, 06:55:05 AM » |
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Would agree with never doing anything else for the idiot until he mans up and gives you a full apology.
As far as the kids go? Don't punish them. Let them see the side of a good man and a fair man.
Did I mention he is a dumb redneck that always thinks he is right? He won't apologize, and probably better he doesn't. I have a few more things I'd like to tell him if he ever does apologize. I lime the fact that he said he didn't need friends in the neighborhood, he has his own friends over on county road 800. I told him he didn't have any friends, he only has people that tolorate him. |
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Black Pearl's Captain
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« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2018, 02:37:10 PM » |
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F%%% that redneck SOB and his dumb 5 year old kid. I hope you win this one and that redneck's 5 year old girl sits at home and cries while your kid plays all alone on his slippy slide. No need for your kid to have other kids at his party.
Your choice, be a man, punish that kid you stud!
Really?
5 year old kids play, get hurt and cry and whine to their parents. They don't hold grudges unless you teach them how to do that. Leave the kids out of your grown up issues.
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2018, 02:39:18 PM by Black Pearl's Captain »
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #31 on: May 25, 2018, 03:30:09 PM » |
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F%%% that redneck SOB and his dumb 5 year old kid. I hope you win this one and that redneck's 5 year old girl sits at home and cries while your kid plays all alone on his slippy slide. No need for your kid to have other kids at his party.
Your choice, be a man, punish that kid you stud!
Really?
5 year old kids play, get hurt and cry and whine to their parents. They don't hold grudges unless you teach them how to do that. Leave the kids out of your grown up issues.
I'm not real sure if you're on my side or his? The point for not having his daughter over is simple. If she happens to get hurt again is he going to throw a fit in front of my fam7ly and friends and ruin my kids birthday party? Not a chance I'm willing to take so they can stay home. My kids come crying all the time and I tell them to either get over it or go inside and not play. They get over it instantly most of the time. We have plenty of kids coming for the party, one little girl with a hot head dad will not be missed. |
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2018, 03:31:58 PM by Gavin_Sons »
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Pappy!
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« Reply #32 on: May 25, 2018, 03:51:27 PM » |
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That little girl will not care that you are having a little spat with her father, all she knows will be that she has not been invited over to her friend's birthday party and at that age she will be heartbroken.
Also, kids pick up on things. You kids may use your attitude (about the father) against that little girl to be mean and taunt her about not being invited.
Right not you are not inviting her on an "if she gets hurt" scenario. There will be other parents at this party that can watch kids as well am sure.
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Moonshot_1
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« Reply #33 on: May 25, 2018, 04:21:36 PM » |
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The idea that you should subject your boys to the wrath of this guy just to not let his daughter's feelings get hurt is bogus. From your description the idiot burned his bridge and the daughter's too. It is HIS responsibility to rebuild it. Not yours, that's for sure.
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Mike Luken
Cherokee, Ia.
Former Iowa Patriot Guard Ride Captain
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Valker
Member
Posts: 3035
Wahoo!!!!
Texas Panhandle
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« Reply #34 on: May 25, 2018, 05:10:39 PM » |
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What Moonshot ^^ said.
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I ride a motorcycle because nothing transports me as quickly from where I am to who I am.
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #35 on: May 26, 2018, 05:25:41 AM » |
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I can't believe some of you say to still invite her. This was not a little spat. This was full blown yelling and screaming at kids that did not understand why he was yelling at them. Then because he screamed at my kids I ran over and screamedat him for being an Iidiot. I guess it does not matter what anyone says, I have made my mind up of how II'm going to deal with it. That includes writing off that whole family and ignoring them. The last thing I need is for him to blow up again because next time it will be physical. It was very close this time.
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cookiedough
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« Reply #36 on: May 26, 2018, 06:07:10 AM » |
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I tend to agree, avoid them at all costs, not worth the hastle for sure if it comes around again which am sure will. His daughter is not your problem. LAST DAY to help my pesky neighbor move to yuppie vill is today and hopefully gone for awhile. I would say I do 25 things for him and his family vs. my 1 thing per year. He just texted me asking me to borrow an extension cord this morning before I woke up. At 10 a.m. have to load up my enclosed trailer to move his larger stuff into storage 20 miles away. He said he was going to give me his 600 dollar riding mower but now sounds like not since new owners want it and going to pay him say 500 bucks for it or so. They make double of what we make (or close to it) but they also spend double the money. Other neighbor who I dislike even more is retiring either this summer or next and moving up north to house on lake with land. Never know though, new neighbors can always be worse, one never knows???  |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #37 on: May 26, 2018, 06:48:09 AM » |
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The idea that you should subject your boys to the wrath of this guy just to not let his daughter's feelings get hurt is bogus. From your description the idiot burned his bridge and the daughter's too. It is HIS responsibility to rebuild it. Not yours, that's for sure.
I see no way that inviting the little girl to the birthday party at HIS house is subjecting his boys to the wrath of this guy. By all means they should never be over there without Gavin, if at all. But including this girl is not going to hurt anyone. It’s all semantics at this point, Gavin has made his mind up what he is going to do. But helping children that are in a shitty situation is ALWAYS a good thing: |
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Gavin_Sons
Member
Posts: 7109
VRCC# 32796
columbus indiana
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« Reply #38 on: May 26, 2018, 06:56:05 AM » |
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The idea that you should subject your boys to the wrath of this guy just to not let his daughter's feelings get hurt is bogus. From your description the idiot burned his bridge and the daughter's too. It is HIS responsibility to rebuild it. Not yours, that's for sure.
I see no way that inviting the little girl to the birthday party at HIS house is subjecting his boys to the wrath of this guy. By all means they should never be over there without Gavin, if at all. But including this girl is not going to hurt anyone. It’s all semantics at this point, Gavin has made his mind up what he is going to do. But helping children that are in a shitty situation is ALWAYS a good thing: This situation did not happen at his house. It happened at the neighbors right next door to us. The assholes house is right behind them. So it didn't stop him at our neighbors why would it stop him at our house? My south east corner meets his north west corner. We got lucky 2 years ago when Ben and Tori moved in next door. They are great neighbors, they know they can come get anything they need any time from me and I do the same with them. Also they are the same age as us. So to recap, this did not happen on the assholes property, it happened at Ben and Tori's while playing on the trampoline in their back yard. |
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cookiedough
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« Reply #39 on: May 26, 2018, 09:59:30 AM » |
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oh wow, not even on your property but neighbors trampoline. WOW, that guy has some nerve to be bitching at you at all. I would tell him to watch his own darn kids then as most parents do not nowadays is so sad been there, done that with my own kids helping raise other kids in my daughters class age 4-6 or so as well with parents NO where to be seen. I taught I think 5 girls in my daughters class age 4-5 to ride a bicycle with parents nowhere to be found EVER.
Well, ONE neighbor DONE just now moved his HEAVY treadmill/mower to storage in my enclosed trailer 20 miles away. The other neighbor who is retiring and moving we had one HUGE spat a decade or so ago actually came out and asked me if he needed to move his car which was parked mostly in front of my house so I can get my 23 foot trailer and 19 foot truck parked when get back in front of my house. I said yes would appreciate that a lot THANKS since IMO one should be able to park on the street in front of MY own darn house without neighbors always parking in front of my house even though public street. So, at least one neighbor gone AFTER today and the other gone in next year or so.
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