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¿spoom
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« on: January 17, 2019, 04:36:53 PM » |
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...and I'm too offended to finish the joke.  |
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¿spoom
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« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2019, 04:38:28 PM » |
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A termite walks into a deserted bar and taps it near the middle of the counter. He asks, "is the bar tender here?".
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DirtyDan
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« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2019, 04:38:53 PM » |
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I’m Irish let er rip
Dan
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Do it while you can. I did.... it my way
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Serk
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« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2019, 04:46:37 PM » |
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The most hard to believe joke ever:
Three Irishmen walk OUT of a bar...
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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DirtyDan
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« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2019, 04:51:10 PM » |
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From an Irishman......
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and funeral ?
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Do it while you can. I did.... it my way
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Serk
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« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2019, 04:52:52 PM » |
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From an Irishman......
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and funeral ?
One less drunk. |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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¿spoom
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« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2019, 04:54:16 PM » |
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I’m Irish let er rip
Dan
I'm just 1/8 Irish-braapppppp  |
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« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2019, 04:54:31 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke.  |
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¿spoom
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« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2019, 05:04:32 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". |
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« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2019, 05:08:24 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". Oh no, no. I'm now offended that you are trying to pass off a different joke in place of the original one you started. |
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2019, 05:12:59 PM » |
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One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!"
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Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?"
Billy says, "In the car."
Paddy says, "That's the quickest way."
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Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming,
"Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya' don't give up you're drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll take ye'".
Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded,
"Who the hell ARE you?".
Too that the Missus replied,
"I'm the divil ya' cursed old fool".
To which Flaherty remarked,
"cursed glad to meet you sir, I'm married to yer sister."
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¿spoom
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« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2019, 05:21:20 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". Oh no, no. I'm now offended that you are trying to pass off a different joke in place of the original one you started. My lower lip started to tremble that you were offended. Instead of passing out death lots to the valiant, modern Valkyries drop Starbucks coupons. (3 Irishman walked into a bar, but the 4th one ducked.) Can you ever forgive me? (weeping uncontrollably)  |
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¿spoom
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« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2019, 05:28:53 PM » |
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What’s the difference between God and Bono?
God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.
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« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2019, 05:32:54 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". Oh no, no. I'm now offended that you are trying to pass off a different joke in place of the original one you started. My lower lip started to tremble that you were offended. Instead of passing out death lots to the valiant, modern Valkyries drop Starbucks coupons. (3 Irishman walked into a bar, but the 4th one ducked.) Can you ever forgive me? (weeping uncontrollably) Tommy Cooper. A brilliant English comedian had a favorite joke. Look him up on youtube Man walks into a bar.
"Ouch!"
Iron bar. |
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¿spoom
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« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2019, 05:52:14 PM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". Oh no, no. I'm now offended that you are trying to pass off a different joke in place of the original one you started. My lower lip started to tremble that you were offended. Instead of passing out death lots to the valiant, modern Valkyries drop Starbucks coupons. (3 Irishman walked into a bar, but the 4th one ducked.) Can you ever forgive me? (weeping uncontrollably) Tommy Cooper... Look him up on youtube Will do. Dave Allen (David Tynan O'Mahony) has always been a favorite of mine. Possibly an acquired taste. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcLCcI3QZDchttps://youtu.be/S5OG4Wxck7U |
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« Last Edit: January 17, 2019, 06:08:51 PM by ¿spoom »
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DIGGER
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« Reply #15 on: January 17, 2019, 06:51:13 PM » |
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two men walk into a Irish Bar and there lying on the floor is an Irishman drunk and singing. They try to help him up but his legs and his balance just won't support him. They load him into a car and take him home. They try getting him out of the car and on his feet but he still can't stand up. They carry him to the door of his house and ring the bell. His wife comes to the door and they tell her "We found your husband on the floor of the bar and he is very drunk." The lady says "Thanks for bringing him home.......you didn't happen to bring his wheelchair too did ya"?
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« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2019, 03:06:49 AM » |
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I'm offended that you didn't finish the joke. An Englishman (I'm ¼ English) boasts, "Merlin almost turned lead into gold" to which an Irishman replies, "Big deal, I turned 3 cars into trees, and one into a field.". Dave Allen was very clever for years but then he got over exposed. Oh no, no. I'm now offended that you are trying to pass off a different joke in place of the original one you started. My lower lip started to tremble that you were offended. Instead of passing out death lots to the valiant, modern Valkyries drop Starbucks coupons. (3 Irishman walked into a bar, but the 4th one ducked.) Can you ever forgive me? (weeping uncontrollably) Tommy Cooper... Look him up on youtube Will do. Dave Allen (David Tynan O'Mahony) has always been a favorite of mine. Possibly an acquired taste. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcLCcI3QZDchttps://youtu.be/S5OG4Wxck7U |
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