The Old Navy Pilot (Humor)

[Westernbiker]

I little humor to end your week.


At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at the entrance to the   building... EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED -- POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.
 
A retired Navy pilot named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look and smelling of last night's rounds, strolled by the building and saw the sign. He went into the building to apply for the position.
 
Aghast at his appearance, the director wondered how to send him away but, to be fair, he gave him a glass of wine to taste.
 
The old Navy pilot held the glass up to his left eye, tilted his head toward incoming sunlight and studied the contents looking through the glass. He then took a sip and said, "It's a Southern California Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Somewhat low-grade but acceptable."
 
"That's correct," said the boss. Glancing at his assistant he said..."Another one, please."
 
The old Navy pilot took the goblet, full of a deep red liquid, stuck his nose into the glass, sniffed deeply and took a long slow sip....rolling his eyeballs in a circle, he then looked at the director and said... "It's a Cabernet Sauvignon, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results."
 
"Absolutely correct. A third glass," said the director.
 
Receiving another glass, again, the Navy pilot eyed the crystal, took in a little bit of the aroma and sipped very softly.... ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, very high grade and exclusive,'' said the drunk calmly.
 
The director was astonished and winked at his assistant to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a wine glass half-full of urine.
 
The old Navy pilot eyed it suspiciously...a color he could not quite recall. He took a sip, swishing it over his tongue and across his teeth, musing upward all the while.
 
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."
 
NEVER.... UNDERESTIMATE THE TALENTS OF A NAVY PILOT!
 

[Jess from VA]

The punch line follows this one nicely.

A fancy gentleman walks into a rough inner city bar and orders a shot of 30yo scotch.

The bartender sets him up, and after sipping it the gentleman says it is only 8yo Johnnie Walker, and he won't pay for it.

The bartender sets him up again, he sips and says that it is 12yo Chivas, and he's still not paying.

Finally the bartender grabs a dusty bottle of 30yo from under the bar and serves it up.  The gentleman likes it and asks for another.

An old drunk down the bar has been watching this and steps over and sets a shot glass full of yellow liquid by his elbow.  The gentleman grabs it and knocks it back, the gasps and spits and says... that tastes like piss.

The old drunk smiles and slaps the gentleman on the back, and replies.... yeah buddy, how old am I?

Never underestimate old drunks.  

[baldo]

I little humor to end your week.


At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at the entrance to the   building... EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED -- POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.
 
A retired Navy pilot named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look and smelling of last night's rounds, strolled by the building and saw the sign. He went into the building to apply for the position.
 
Aghast at his appearance, the director wondered how to send him away but, to be fair, he gave him a glass of wine to taste.
 
The old Navy pilot held the glass up to his left eye, tilted his head toward incoming sunlight and studied the contents looking through the glass. He then took a sip and said, "It's a Southern California Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Somewhat low-grade but acceptable."
 
"That's correct," said the boss. Glancing at his assistant he said..."Another one, please."
 
The old Navy pilot took the goblet, full of a deep red liquid, stuck his nose into the glass, sniffed deeply and took a long slow sip....rolling his eyeballs in a circle, he then looked at the director and said... "It's a Cabernet Sauvignon, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results."
 
"Absolutely correct. A third glass," said the director.
 
Receiving another glass, again, the Navy pilot eyed the crystal, took in a little bit of the aroma and sipped very softly.... ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, very high grade and exclusive,'' said the drunk calmly.
 
The director was astonished and winked at his assistant to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a wine glass half-full of urine.
 
The old Navy pilot eyed it suspiciously...a color he could not quite recall. He took a sip, swishing it over his tongue and across his teeth, musing upward all the while.
 
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."
 
NEVER.... UNDERESTIMATE THE TALENTS OF A NAVY PILOT!
 

lol....