A Little Something to Lighten the Mood.....

[3fan4life]

Fred and Mary got married.
But they can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Ok, ok, tell me what you think!!!"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

[The emperor has no clothes]

 

[Valker]

Did you hear about the newly wed couple who couldn't tell the difference between Vaseline and Window putty?












All their windows fell out.

[Jess from VA]

You guys are killing me.

What I recall of being the groom twice at full blown weddings (with a hell of a lot to do to get both organized and run), I was so wasted after the things (and the receptions) were finally over, and we waited until the last hangers on finally left in the wee hours, we both went home and slept with no monkey business of any kind long into the following day.  And had I insisted, both wives would have punched me in the face. 

It wasn't like we didn't try out the monkey business before the blessed events (or there probably wouldn't have been any blessed events). 

I'd rather do a stretch in jail than ever go though that foolishness again. 
 

[NewValker]

I used to work part time for a buddy that had a towing business. One night between calls, he told me they finally got the last kid off to college, and the wife and him were living alone the first time in years.
They celebrated by going out to a nice dinner, with much drinking and celebrating. They got home and kept celebrating, and when they ended up in bed, he asked if now with no kids in sight, can he get the cool whip out?
She agreed so he ran to the kitchen, finally found it and returned. He spread it on the appropriate places and went to town.
Remember, much alcohol was consumed...
He told me that when both his ears were stuck to his face, they realized it was fluff, not cool whip...
From that day on, his wife was known as Fluffy 

Craig

[The emperor has no clothes]

I used to work part time for a buddy that had a towing business. One night between calls, he told me they finally got the last kid off to college, and the wife and him were living alone the first time in years.
They celebrated by going out to a nice dinner, with much drinking and celebrating. They got home and kept celebrating, and when they ended up in bed, he asked if now with no kids in sight, can he get the cool whip out?
She agreed so he ran to the kitchen, finally found it and returned. He spread it on the appropriate places and went to town.
Remember, much alcohol was consumed...
He told me that when both his ears were stuck to his face, they realized it was fluff, not cool whip...
From that day on, his wife was known as Fluffy 

Craig

[da prez]

  Jess , in jail you could be the wife.

                              da prez

[Jess from VA]

 Jess , in jail you could be the wife.

                             da prez

Well there's a happy thought.    

But at least they don't require a formal wedding ceremony.