Some suttle levity to brighten your day.

[Pete]

Cat or dog to owner: No I will not come down, we have been on 20 walks today, leave me alone.

So you are telling me that if I violate the stay at home order I am going to jail?
But you are letting people out of jail so they do not get the Corona Virus.
What kinda stupid is that?

Day 9 of the quarantine my wife called out from the other room to see i I felt a pain in my chest
like someone was stabbing a voodoo doll of me, I replied no, she responded how about now?


Just to be clear we all agree that liquor stores are essential  and schools are not!!

Next door wife talking to your wife:
Where is your husband?
He is in the garden.
I do not see him.
You need to dig a little deeper.

Before you complain just remember someone is quarantined with your ex.

I told my wife how grateful I was to be quarantine with someone I enjoyed being with.
Here reply was that must be nice.

You think it is bad now? In twenty years your country will be run by someone educated by day drinkers.

If you have a drink in each hand it is way harder to touch you face.

I remember when you could smoke in a bar, now you cannot even drink in one.

[John Schmidt]

Subtle!  Funny....sent them to my daughters and a couple friends. 

[3fan4life]

Before you complain just remember someone is quarantined with your ex.

I hadn't thought of that one.

Now, I feel sorry for the poor ba$trd. 

[f6gal]

So, I was at a store, there was an X on the floor marking where to stand in line.
I've seen too many Roadrunner cartoons to fall for that crap!   

[Valkorado]

Before you complain just remember someone is quarantined with your ex.

I hadn't thought of that one.

Now, I feel sorry for the poor ba$trd. 

+1,000,000!!!  Wouldn't wish it on anyone!

[John Schmidt]

So, I was at a store, there was an X on the floor marking where to stand in line.
I've seen too many Roadrunner cartoons to fall for that crap!