Texas Blue

[bassman]

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-10 about 62 miles west of Kerrville Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to West Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from Ingram Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my butt to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test."

[bassman]

Yeah...had my head up my behind.....wasn't paying attention......in a hurry......forg :2funny:ot about the joke thread......any number of excuses but actually just plain screwed up.....AND I don't know how to delete this or move it to the appropriate  locations......

[Rams]

Yeah...had my head up my behind.....wasn't paying attention......in a hurry......forg :2funny:ot about the joke thread......any number of excuses but actually just plain screwed up.....AND I don't know how to delete this or move it to the appropriate  locations......

I wouldn't worry about it.   It's really not a big deal.   Although, I could use some help with the jokes. 

Reference removal, I know you can remove a post in a thread.   If you'll notice, I removed the one above your's.    But, I believe only admin can remove the initial or original post.

Rams

[Patrick]

LOL

[Jess from VA]

I got pulled over driving my used AZ State Police Fury ('70 - 383ci) too enthusiastically on a MI freeway.  He asked if I had been drinking and I told him I had had a cheeseburger, fries and one beer about an hour earlier (it was two, but one sounded better).  

He didn't believe me, though I wasn't drunk or acting drunk.  He said he didn't have a breathalyzer with him and wanted to drive me to the station for a test.  I really didn't like this idea.  I also didn't tell him I was a licensed MI attorney because unless you are a county prosecutor, they generally hate lawyers.  

So I said I had heard of these things called field sobriety tests (I knew all about them), and I would be happy to take them for him.  He said OK, and proceeded to give me the standard lean back with fingers to the nose, heel toe walking and a couple others, which I aced.  All with I-75 traffic flying by us.

He said I passed the tests, but he still wasn't sure I wasn't drunk and again said he wanted to take me to the station for a breath test.  I said let me show you what else I can do, and proceeded to pop a hand stand at the rear of my car, walked on my hands to the front, turned around, and walked back to the rear, and kipped up to my feet (nice and neat, not all wobbly).  (I did gymnastics in HS and gym class).

He said, holy crap, I could never do that sober.  You must be sober.  And he let me go with no ticket.  We had been there for about 30 minutes.

As I drove away, I thought to myself, people driving by watching this this guy walking on his hands with the cruiser and lights blazing must be thinking..... damn those field sobriety tests are really getting ridiculous.  

True story.   (I can probably still walk on my hands, but it would be all wobbly 40 years later, and I'd still need two beers first)