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Woman president from Pittsburgh

Started by Skinhead, Tue 12, Jul 2011, 16:20:19

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Skinhead

The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Pittsburgh.  A few days after the election the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her Father and says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so.  It's an 18 hour drive."

'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One.  And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'

'I don't know.  Everybody will be so fancy.  What would your  mother wear?'

Oh Dad," replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in Washington ..'

'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you eat.' And do they serve tap beer?"

The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad.  The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington, and I'll ensure your meals are salt free.  You and mom just have to be there.'

So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan is being sworn in as President of the United States .  In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom.  Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States .'

The Senator whispers back, 'You bet I do.'

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Steelers."


Friendsville, TN - Troy, MI

Big IV

this makes me want a sammich with the fries under the bun the way Pirmanti Bros meant it to be!
Yum. Sammich.
"Ride Free Citizen!"
VRCCDS0176

Dino

So many roads.....They won't ride themselves!

Varmintmist

AY, Whattar you? Some kine of jag off n'at? Don be makin fun of da Picksburgh Stillers. Da pres's pop would jus go dawntawn an get an arn.

Jag off- slight, origin unknown, possibly having to do with prick because any bush with thorns is called a "jagger bush"
n"at - and that, loosely
Stillers - Steelers
Dawntawn - downtown
Arn - Iron City beer, bad local beer

http://www.pittsburghese.com/
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
Churchill

PAVALKER

Yinz quit jaggin round.  'Sup wif at?  Um sick'n tard uh d'way yinz guys jaggin Picksburg.



John                           

custom1

John

Black Dog

Just when the highway straightened out for a mile
And I was thinkin' I'd just cruise for a while
A fork in the road brought a new episode
Don't you know...

Conform, go crazy, or ride a motorcycle...


¿spoom

Interesting, when I heard the joke Susan was from Wisconsin..........................................

Devl

Quote from: Skinhead on Tue 12, Jul 2011, 16:20:19
The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Pittsburgh.  A few days after the election the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her Father and says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so.  It's an 18 hour drive."

'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One.  And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'

'I don't know.  Everybody will be so fancy.  What would your  mother wear?'

Oh Dad," replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in Washington ..'

'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you eat.' And do they serve tap beer?"

The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad.  The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington, and I'll ensure your meals are salt free.  You and mom just have to be there.'

So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan is being sworn in as President of the United States .  In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom.  Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States .'

The Senator whispers back, 'You bet I do.'

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Steelers."




You are sooooo baaaad on so many levels..... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
But I can actually see that happening....
kinda funny too :) :evil: :) :evil: ;)
Devl

musclehead

Quote from: PAVALKER on Wed 13, Jul 2011, 10:26:41
Yinz quit jaggin round.  'Sup wif at?  Um sick'n tard uh d'way yinz guys jaggin Picksburg.





I need a translator  :o
'in the tunnels uptown, the Rats own dream guns him down. the shots echo down them hallways in the night' - the Boss

PAVALKER

Quote from: musclehead on Wed 13, Jul 2011, 22:08:39
Quote from: PAVALKER on Wed 13, Jul 2011, 10:26:41
Yinz quit jaggin round.  'Sup wif at?  Um sick'n tard uh d'way yinz guys jaggin Picksburg.





I need a translator  :o

I would need to know the area in which you are from in order to provide a more accurate translation.....   However, the general idea would be  "You guys better quit jacking around.  What's up with that?  I am sick and tired of the way you guys keep jacking Pittsburgh. "    ;)   
John                           

Skinhead


Friendsville, TN - Troy, MI

Brian

 I am headed back up on Sunday to visit my parents and to get recharged with Pittsburghese and arn.

WTF is going on with the darn Steelers? Hines Ward arrested and Harrison spouting stupid stuff.