Looking for a Place to Stay....(Humor)

[bassman]

Politically incorrect: [Reminiscent of Rodney Dangerfield]





Went out last night and got really wasted.  I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!

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The wife's back on the warpath again.  She was up for making a sex movie last night, until I suggested we should hold auditions for her part. I need a place to stay.

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I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.  My next dump could spell out disaster.

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My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.  It was my own fault.  I should have taken them off. Again, I need a place to stay.

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I spent a couple of hours ''defrosting the fridge'' last night,
or "foreplay'' as she likes to call it.

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The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. 
I told her, "Only you.  All the others kept me wide awake all night!"

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My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,

"I wish you a slow and painful death, you no good bast#@&!"
"Oh," I replied ... "so now you want me to stay?"

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A Catholic boy in confession says, Bless me Father, I have
sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister.
That's a disgrace, said the priest, especially when you have two gorgeous brothers.

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I got a great idea and just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. Cost me some money,

but at least it makes my wife look like she's moving during sex.

[Hooter]

Good stuff, thanks for posting it. the next to the last one is uh,,,,,

[Skinhead]

I think my wife has passed away, the sex is the same, but the dirty dishes are starting to pile up in the sink!