Remember Hollywood squares

[Patrick]

These Are too funny  enjoy

:
Subj: Hollywood Squares


These  great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood
Squares' game  show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they
were later in the  show.




Q..
Paul,  what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde:  Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up  almost 15 minutes of
the show!)


Q. Do  female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads  under water long enough.


Q. If  you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q.  True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George  Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q.  You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q.  According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.


Q.  Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A.  Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..


Q.  What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George  Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next  apartment.


Q. As  you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while  talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question  Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never  forget.


Q.  Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because  chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q..  Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any  during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too  busy growing strawberries.


Q. In  bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin  boy.


Q.  During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A.  Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the  bedroom.


Q.  Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights  out.


Q.  When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If  you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A.  Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the  dark..


Q.  According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit  of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the  army.


Q.  Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was  he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his  mouth.


Q.  Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q.  Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has  actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A.  Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q.  According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

[R J]

Yupper, I remember them well.

Was the only thing we could get on our Black/White set on the farm.

[czuch]

Back when TV was worth watching.

[Rams]

Back when TV was worth watching.

Yep, I agree.


Loved that show.   Some of the funniest comedians I ever heard.   Add in Bill Cosby and you've got a full set.

[markj #3467]

Man I remember watching these very shows. Paul Lynde was a hoot. I don't even turn on the tv these days, nothing like the old shows of the 60s and 70s like carol burnett,

[czuch]

They were master comedians.
They played to and off of each other. The main objective was to crack each other up.
That was the hardest test of their skill.
I can only imagine the taped show was the dullest part of them getting together.