The DUI that beats them all

[BobB]

At least he could not speed away...

http://www.startribune.com/local/290472341.html

[The emperor has no clothes]

I would have never guessed it was illegal to operate a Zamboni while impaired.

[YoungPUP]

Several years back the town drunk got his lawn tractor impounded for operating under the influence.  Gray area but they busted him when he pulled out into the road to turn around.  Local tow company dispatched to pick up a "tractor". Should've seen the look on the drivers face when he pulls up towing a low boy trailer to pick up a small John Deere Rear engine mower....

[John Schmidt]

We had a kid just up the street in my former 'hood that got busted for DUI on his bicycle. They impounded his bike, which didn't really stop him once he got out of jail. He just borrowed a neighbor kid's bike, much to the displeasure of the kid. He was finally reduced to either walking or getting someone to drive him. Didn't have a job, in his late 20's at the time, lived at home and mom took care of him. He had a crush on my youngest daughter and came calling one time only....half drunk. I starter in on him and she said to go inside, she would take care of it. Never saw him come by again but did see him around the area. Wonder if he ever got his bike back. 

[Serk]

This is fake, but still funny...

Steve's Drunk and High DUI at Work (Arrested on Scissor Lift)

Steve's lawn mower DUI with 10 stolen shopping carts

[BnB Tom]

  I thought a Zamboni was an Italian sandwich.        

... and who hasn't wanted something to eat after partaking in a couple of alcoholic beverages.