Possitive Attitude

[DIGGER]

 
 Monday morning, the grizzled Valkyrie rider finally regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the  hospital’s ICU, with tubes
up every fundamental orifice, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous
nurse hovering over him.

He remembered he'd been in a really serious motorcycle accident Saturday.

The nurse gave the Valkyrie rider a serious, deep look straight into the
eyes, and he heard her slowly say, “You may not feel anything from the
waist down.”

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your tits, then?”

AND THAT,MY FRIENDS, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!

[Patrick]

ROTFLMAO !

[Momz]

.....Or he could have asked if she would test that diagnosis by reaching under the blanket. 

[Hooter]

    A guy was in his man cave watching a football game and tossing peanuts in the air and catching them in his mouth.
   He'd been at it for quite a while when his wife came down stairs and said: "Honey what are you doing"?
   At this time he had just tossed a peanut into the air but turned his head to answer.
   The peanut went into his ear at which time he exclaimed: "Dammit"!
The wife asked him: "Whats the matter"?
   He turned to her again and said: "When you hollard at me I turned my head to answer you and I just tossed a peanut into the air and the peanut went in my ear".
   He told her he could get it out and as he tried he only push it in further. "Dammit he exclaimed".
The wife said: "Whats the matter"?
   He told her that he couldn't get the peanut out he had only pushed it in further.
The wife said:  "Let me take a look, I can get it out".
   She tried and tried only to push the peanut further into his ear.
She then told him that they should go to the hospital and they would have to remove it.
   About that time his daughter and her boyfriend came into the basement and the daughter asked what was going on?
   The mother explained about the peanut and the boyfriend said: "I can get that out for you".
The father said: "Are you sure"?
   The boyfriend said: "Sure, set up straight, close you mouth and I will put my two fingers in your nose. Then you blow as hard as you can and the peanut will come out".
The father said: "What the hell, can't hurt and if it works will save me a trip to the hospital".
   So the father closed his mouth and the boyfriend put two fingers up his nose and said: "Now blow".
The father did and the peanut shot out of his ear like a shot.
   The father said: That was great thank you".
The boyfriend said: "You are welcome" and the daughter and boyfriend disappeared upstairs.
   The mother said: "That was so nice of him and he is so smart, what do you think his going to be when he gets a little older"?
The father says: "Well, by the smell of his fingers I think he is going to be our "son-in -law".
   

[Valkjerk]

Digger and Hooter, Kudos to you both. LMFAO