Ed and Nancy, a beautiful story

[Patrick]

 
What a beautiful story!!
 

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
 
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
 
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
 
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said,
 
"I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
 
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
 
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
 

[baldo]

What a beautiful story!!
 

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
 
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
 
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
 
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said,
 
"I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
 
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
 
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
 

 

[Jess from VA]

I love golf jokes.  And I don't golf (though I have pretended to golf a few times).

[Willow]

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

It is a beautiful story. 

I may have missed the point.  Was he wrong?   ???

[The emperor has no clothes]

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

It is a beautiful story. 

I may have missed the point.  Was he wrong?   ???

I thought a slice was caused by bent wrists ?

[Rams]

I've been forced or convinced that playing golf was something I needed to do several times.    I'm also a hooker, hasn't gotten me ahead, not even once.    I have gone through or go through a lot of balls, while I can hit one a long ways compared to the other folks in the party, I can not know in advance where it's (the damn ball) is going to go.   Distance is easy, direction is a challenge.   Almost killed a lady once who was mowing her lawn.   The boss told me to go back to work.    I did as was advised.   Apparently, she woke up.

I see a golf course and wonder where all the cattle are at?   Often times, I wonder why there's nothing on television but golf.    Not much of a spectator sport in my mind but, to each their own I guess.    Now, about that wrist thing............................................

[Jess from VA]

That was my experience Ron.  I could whack it pretty good off the tee with the big dog (forget those little bitty irons), but anyone in about 60-70 degrees ahead was at risk.  And it's embarrassing when you are on some other fairway, trying to knock it back on yours.  Hey, the hole is down that way.  Uhh, well, MY hole is somewhere over this way(then they don't want to talk to you anymore).  And I did better using the big dog all the way to the green (bigger club, better chance of hitting the ball).  Just lightened up the strike and punched it at low altitude toward the hole.  Then the putting was a lot easier, I think from all my misspent youth in pool halls.  Like most people, I like doing things I'm good at, and golf is not one of them.  I do like beautiful courses and landscape, and driving the cart with a cold one.

[Rams]

I do like beautiful courses and landscape, and driving the cart with a cold one.

Yeah, in later years, my boss finally figured out that I was the perfect guy to be driving the beer cart.    Worked for me, I don't partake of the spirits.      I don't pretend to understand the physics of a golf ball/club combination but, I'm think'n I'm one of the few that has made a ball come back like a boom a rang..      Don't ask me how I made that happen, I'm guessing back spin but........................... Who knows.  

[The emperor has no clothes]

I've been forced or convinced that playing golf was something I needed to do several times.    I'm also a hooker, hasn't gotten me ahead, not even once.    I have gone through or go through a lot of balls, while I can hit one a long ways compared to the other folks in the party, I can not know in advance where it's (the damn ball) is going to go.   Distance is easy, direction is a challenge.   Almost killed a lady once who was mowing her lawn.   The boss told me to go back to work.    I did as was advised.   Apparently, she woke up.

I see a golf course and wonder where all the cattle are at?   Often times, I wonder why there's nothing on television but golf.    Not much of a spectator sport in my mind but, to each their own I guess.    Now, about that wrist thing............................................

That reminds me of years ago. Our company put on a yearly golf outing for the managers. The big bosses didn't like to mingle with the lower class, so they always played together and the rest of us were grouped together randomly. Naturally with a bunch of people that didn't golf much things backed up and the big kahunas were waiting at our tee for us to hit. I step up and CRUSH it, but it starts to slice off and hits a tree . Ricochets into guy going by in a cart delivering drinks. Hits him square in the head, knocks him out of the cart. I turn back to 3 of my fellow managers giggling and 4 Kahunas giving me the most disgusted look they could muster.
The following years hung around the horse shoe pit and watched.  

[Patrick]

I play quite often, but, I believe what Mark Twain says.

[Wizzard]

It takes balls to golf the way I do.

[Rams]

I play quite often, but, I believe what Mark Twain says.

Alrighty, enlighten me please.   

[Oss]

Golf is a good walk spoiled    ............is what Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) said about golf

[Wizzard]

Kind of sounds like the lady that complained to the clubhouse that she got stung by a wasp. Golf pro asked her where at and she said between the first and second hole. He told her to narrow up her stance.

[Rams]

Kind of sounds like the lady that complained to the clubhouse that she got stung by a wasp. Golf pro asked her where at and she said between the first and second hole. He told her to narrow up her stance.

Now, that one, I understood.   

[czuch]

Jesus and Moses were on the 11th hole.
There was a water trap and it was par 5.
Jesus said its a 7 iron, Moses countered its a 9 iron.
Jesus said, "Arnold Palmer would use a 7 iron".
Whack, plop splash. Right into the water hazard.
Jesus walks out there and is looking around for his ball.
Another golfer walks up and asks of Moses," Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ"?
Moses casually replies, " Nope, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer".

[RDAbull]

IF my bowling score was as high as my golf score, I'd be a great bowler!

[Patrick]

Kind of sounds like the lady that complained to the clubhouse that she got stung by a wasp. Golf pro asked her where at and she said between the first and second hole. He told her to narrow up her stance.

LOL

[Wizzard]

i just want to live to golf my age!

[Firefighter]

I used to golf but that dang windmill was so frustrating I had to give it all up.

[RP#62]

Never been big on golf.  I think it's because of an incident when I was younger.  First time me and a buddy were ever on a golf course, they were very rude to us.  They kept yelling things like get those fn dirtbikes off the golf course.

-RP

[Jess from VA]

Our best hometown course was pretty swanky, and had a wonderful big pool.  None of us regular folk had a pool, nor did our school.  So on hot summer nights, we'd all sneak out of our houses and bicycle up the island to the county club, hide the bikes, climb the fence and go swimming.  The cops were not amused.  But we were. 

[da prez]

                                            G O L F

         playing fetch with your self.

                                                           da prez